About This Blog

Bear in mind, a lotta these posts are of interest to normal people. - This is my diary available online to get help from others. I never mean any harm. My thoughts may appear scattered at times, but I bring it together. Some things may not make sense to you..

Monday, March 2, 2015

I don't want to find my dad at the dead end thinking he can force people to be mean to me cuz I'd call the police.

Weird

Blame someone else in confusion.  I calmed down in a way in and of itself.
How can I not be mad, anymore?  I try to keep to myself..  They kept "talking" in secret but mean in reality it feels in secret.

What's too late for me?
You blame me for being mad at me, but I'm not being bad.  You just bring up some insignificant thing from the past.  Think of all the really bad people and good people who mess up.

So, I can't make you happy if my being good makes you still mad at me.
I should be thankful people care for me and I have these nice pills..
I feel so broken up.

Like everyone is mad at me for mistakes and feeling bad.
I just remembered I "flipped my lid" when I was made fun of for liking something and even thought worthless things of someone in my family, my mom.  :(  They kept inflicting things like d**** on me.  Not exactly, but it went by so speedily.

Oh no!

In the process of "getting out my anger" I didn't mean to hurt any one!  And hopefully not anyone.

Twitter

See, doesn't this seem laced with insults?  She keeps doing that.

She said "not" to be annoying twice.
So, yes, then people are nice to bad people.  I don't think they didn't pass some test you did about being warm and fuzzy to some people.
as in chicken, like nervous
Peaceful?  Yer chickens.
Get it?  It's not!
NO IT'S NOT

You fight me!
What's so impressive about violence?
I don't wanna be close to my dad.  I felt affected.  They said he gets to "play with my babies" because I thought of the k word.

So, where I went wrong was..

(1) the word k*** came back to me cuz it was just said and for my dad giving me a feeling I do not ever like from him
(2) I was upset with someone because of a stupid supper
My dad is letting in irritation thru the cracks.  I don't wanna be in troble for his crass.
Okay everyone, this person keeps bothering my mom.
I am upset about my mom.

No one said they were originally mad at you.
No one has the right to get at me.  Are you just..
YOU be happy
Why don't you squeak in another area?
I already could die cuza you..
I haven't felt like doing the dishes, recently.
My parents have been agitated recently.  I don't want my mom to die because of you.
It seems pretty obvious to me, 2 people.
Who is safe to say makes problems?
If you act like that, you're at risk.  Life is unfair to others moreover.
I know what happened.  I was just in the kitchen and my dad was acting meanly, now triumphant the word k*** came to mind and they thought "Gramma wouldn't like it."  Well, they just thought of the word with me, the other parent.
WHY WERE YOU SO MEAN TO ME AT SUPPER

I am so mad I could rip something apart.

I'm tired of your selfish lying and schizophrenia.
WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME
Do you wanna sit here all day with people telling you you can't have this you can't have that just to be bemusing and with no fact connected that you can juggle and no way of totally just ignoring?

All I found is it's a bother for other people who say this.
Just ignore him and I'd have less problems.  I don't believe I've been treated with respect as a poster online.

Admit it.

My dad is a problem, even when I am over 18.
You shouldn't be having all the cool people look ugly to me in glasses and beards and mustaches.  That is very selfish.
What did I do wrong?  No answer.  I will not be subject to my family all of a sudden in this world, like it's the new popular thing.  You all don't have to pick up on bad things from your parents and as a family like this.  I am independent.  I have a strong dislike for getting close to my family in a lotta ways you don't see to respect.  I will not be rounded up as a Barrett in "the Barrett family.."
Yes, I realize some people are monitored to be safe.

Nice Girl..

Anna Kendrick.  I wonder what goes on in her thoughts sometimes.  Like at the Academy Awards..

Unsolved Being Upset

So Sorry.  Maybe, I was hurt, but that's always the excuse.  I'll wait for the next blast from the past.  :(

Kids today don't deserve to be able to treat me like this.  How am I guilty?  Little things and weird things don't fully count.
So, I'm letting out my anger without foul language and without relying on acting annoyingly in real life.  I'm trying to avoid sounding mad at certain people or anyone if possible.
I was happy, but people come in mean.  I shouldn't have to put up with this.  You're treating me like an abuser.
I know people are mean to me to make others comfortable, but that shouldn't be for me.
Why does my dad hip hop in fibbing about his nature with some close, negative message for me?

The Circle of Apology

I partially just realized someone might be doing this I don't wanna fight, but I am not sure and know it's bad or just a coping mechanism.  It seems like I got hurt me in the process.
They always have some problem for me to wake up to.  I will not take this!!
They're setting me off to think the sound is shredding at my body like I'm American.
They're playing Buddhist humming or something I think but cuza being Chinese and I don't like it.  It's my mom's, but I know why they really did it now.

Tired

Is anything wrong?