About This Blog
Bear in mind, a lotta these posts are of interest to normal people. - This is my diary available online to get help from others. I never mean any harm. My thoughts may appear scattered at times, but I bring it together. Some things may not make sense to you..
Monday, February 9, 2015
Got Upset
My mom seemed to be making fun for like being in trouble and I didn't feel like I wanted her as a relationship while we "move on up."
I knew people before who acted like they liked me just enough to get off and leave me without a life nor any of my friends to talk to. They used to play they wanted to be just like me.
This all will just ruin my time leaving off on these ridiculously bad notes.
It's too bad you want to think you see me actively alluding to something serious. I don't see it being done to anyone else.
I am tired of people being scared to have any manners with me. I don't feel special.
How did I invade anyone in writing this? 1 it made me have to deal with a tossup on what I thought of the nature of my relationship with someone. 2 I am thinking people will keep bugging me for things just to bug me until it's too late. I am not suggesting anything like I don't want someone to get attention. It all worked out all my life before Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Pirates of the Caribbean. I just found people are afraid to say anyone has talent since Tim Burton. It's only for him, perfect or not.
It's not the attention but "what" happens. I can't complain about some things cuz it's just not right. I just feel people are treating me with twisted feelings and telling me what I think when I mean it in a specifically different way. Some people totally stop talking to me, whereas before they did. Something upset them. I can't say I deserve it, but why do these things stop when something happens like that? What I mean about today is just the general message. I know you hold some things important over me. I feel I'm just saying the same things you'd know over and over. I was upset at my mom's taunting me I think. Like in secret message. I don't wanna ruin my relationship .. with her, too.
I feel people just think I'm worthless, just there to do what you don't want "the ones" to do who are born when computers became popular in 1997-1998. What if I'm better in some way? Fine.
I see what you all want.
And I'm not fighting about attention but that my mom was teasing me. I don't think I had much to say otherwise. Because I mentioned some things, I assume they'd wanna be talked about.
I don't like how this is taking shape you think must be over one issue, but I'm sorry to say it's not. LOL. Not LOL at other issues. It's not from that issue. This was gonna happen anyway more likely.
My mom kept acting a certain way, and I guess it upset me. I just meant I don't wanna be rubbed into my parents and lose other relationships. She kept acting like she said, "It's okay," in a mocking way. That's basically it, this paragraph.
Every problem can be fixed. I just feel that I should not be treated like I'm bad and it works out with others, instead. I dunno. I do want others to get attention. I lived life normally, before, and I was perfectly fine. I had said to stop all this experimental sacrifice. Long before.
So, I'm sorry if anyone was offended by this. I think most of us are just making ends meet socially in society. Most people would not strongly go into disagreeing. You can't just live by Tweeting. You need to record yourself talking and learn to make substantial works of writing on life and fun and pleasure and feelings.
So, sorry, not sure how to make this better for anyone. Prayers and hope for they who yearn for attention and for things to be right for them.
I knew people before who acted like they liked me just enough to get off and leave me without a life nor any of my friends to talk to. They used to play they wanted to be just like me.
This all will just ruin my time leaving off on these ridiculously bad notes.
It's too bad you want to think you see me actively alluding to something serious. I don't see it being done to anyone else.
I am tired of people being scared to have any manners with me. I don't feel special.
How did I invade anyone in writing this? 1 it made me have to deal with a tossup on what I thought of the nature of my relationship with someone. 2 I am thinking people will keep bugging me for things just to bug me until it's too late. I am not suggesting anything like I don't want someone to get attention. It all worked out all my life before Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Pirates of the Caribbean. I just found people are afraid to say anyone has talent since Tim Burton. It's only for him, perfect or not.
It's not the attention but "what" happens. I can't complain about some things cuz it's just not right. I just feel people are treating me with twisted feelings and telling me what I think when I mean it in a specifically different way. Some people totally stop talking to me, whereas before they did. Something upset them. I can't say I deserve it, but why do these things stop when something happens like that? What I mean about today is just the general message. I know you hold some things important over me. I feel I'm just saying the same things you'd know over and over. I was upset at my mom's taunting me I think. Like in secret message. I don't wanna ruin my relationship .. with her, too.
I feel people just think I'm worthless, just there to do what you don't want "the ones" to do who are born when computers became popular in 1997-1998. What if I'm better in some way? Fine.
I see what you all want.
And I'm not fighting about attention but that my mom was teasing me. I don't think I had much to say otherwise. Because I mentioned some things, I assume they'd wanna be talked about.
I don't like how this is taking shape you think must be over one issue, but I'm sorry to say it's not. LOL. Not LOL at other issues. It's not from that issue. This was gonna happen anyway more likely.
My mom kept acting a certain way, and I guess it upset me. I just meant I don't wanna be rubbed into my parents and lose other relationships. She kept acting like she said, "It's okay," in a mocking way. That's basically it, this paragraph.
Every problem can be fixed. I just feel that I should not be treated like I'm bad and it works out with others, instead. I dunno. I do want others to get attention. I lived life normally, before, and I was perfectly fine. I had said to stop all this experimental sacrifice. Long before.
So, I'm sorry if anyone was offended by this. I think most of us are just making ends meet socially in society. Most people would not strongly go into disagreeing. You can't just live by Tweeting. You need to record yourself talking and learn to make substantial works of writing on life and fun and pleasure and feelings.
So, sorry, not sure how to make this better for anyone. Prayers and hope for they who yearn for attention and for things to be right for them.
So, yes, I think I'm not much of a person. In a way, I really try if possible. I'm pretty good for a Eurasian with an obese dad, but my dad seems more like a tired, sorta lackadaisical obese, not I. I mean in some ways I probably share some of the same ways of being. I tell my dad to shape up for his own good.
About Before
What I said I hope does not all stem from that which I am not supposed to talk about. And am to ignore?? Sorry, if I gave anyone a hard time.
Issues
I just watched Dr. Phil and felt suggestions of guilt of things I've said but just for saying them. I only posted more clearly but carefully on "what" when I was incessantly attacked, in my opinion.
If you don't like me cursing, you can't tell me after I seem to stop if it mattered before just to make me seem guilty cuz lotta people curse don't get in trouble or nothing.
Lotta people who weren't involved specifically in one thing I did tend to start anew and test me and get me off without really giving me a chance.
It seems that sometimes you should talk things out some. It seems that me trying to avert punishment for the nature of what I've said is the thing that gets them.
When I go out here in Orlando, people can tell specifically what I'm thinking. I don't try to share these things, but they seem to surface themselves to them. So, that's why I post them here. Things probably unravel themselves and are worth putting down. These things are not attacks. They are panic attacks.
I am curious. I think they just wanna get down me in trouble and probably make others happy for convenience of situation in the process.
Before I started cursing for a time on my blog, I was treated like the star of the world. Now, I'm made fun of and put down constantly. How pathetic, just for cursing when I'm the one attacked. I did stop cursing! I didn't get the message to stop. They just wanted to see how far they could make me upset. They just roll their eyes and don't know what to say to that. I don't know how else to describe it. They just look aloof and condemning?? It's what I said, they are trying to get me to do things that only certain people disapprove of, that isn't wrong. Today at supper, I ended up thinking so what if someone did some really bad crime, doesn't mean you can be mean to me. I thought that crime specifically but did not mean that literally. What's the use of thinking of that like that? I had posted something related recently.
I think people are against me because of my race, really. Sorry to disappoint, but some people are. Don't encourage me to think about it and try to get back in my thoughts. I'm trying to ignore it.
I think in the end, I'm hated on for my age not being neither young enough nor old enough. They want one group of people or one individual to get everything forever, like something about them is of higher esteem and quality. When they get categorized into a group, they jump out of it and want something else, everything, too, it seems, so that others feel they don't deserve what they had, neither, when it's important.
People put me up to things I don't deserve to have and make me feel uncomfortable about getting any of anything like it.
Why is who I am defined only by my behavior? Race? Afraid I'll start being better when someone else is a different race?
I am upset I am not accepted by some people. They keep being mad at me for when I didn't know they really wanted me to stop cursing about putting these annoying noises in my room. They were being very mean. There was no reason to begin with. That probably made me even more mad, not think at least it's not my fault, just get mad. The effects are spreading. No one really knows me. Why should anyone have to suffer this? I know all these things are done to me cuz of things that were supposedly unfair to others or things that have nothing to do with me. Why not get mad at the other older adults who did them? I already explained why I cursed and that I wish I didn't. I had a reason. You all just wanna invade my privacy, along with "getting rid of me." Well, if you think about it in one way, no no one "has" to like anyone. I mean just anyone, since everyone is in such competition. Why like me?
What can I do or say to make things better? I wasn't that mean. Maybe, I could've said it better, thought more.
I feel I'm being made fun of for sounding like I'm pleaing, too. I don't have to be seen like that racially, pleaing like I'm that weak 1/2 Chinese girl.
You seem to wanna talk about that certain something yet also not. So, I dunno, think I shouldn't. Why does all this to others seem to stem from that? I'm trying to not talk about it.
If you don't like me cursing, you can't tell me after I seem to stop if it mattered before just to make me seem guilty cuz lotta people curse don't get in trouble or nothing.
Lotta people who weren't involved specifically in one thing I did tend to start anew and test me and get me off without really giving me a chance.
It seems that sometimes you should talk things out some. It seems that me trying to avert punishment for the nature of what I've said is the thing that gets them.
When I go out here in Orlando, people can tell specifically what I'm thinking. I don't try to share these things, but they seem to surface themselves to them. So, that's why I post them here. Things probably unravel themselves and are worth putting down. These things are not attacks. They are panic attacks.
I am curious. I think they just wanna get down me in trouble and probably make others happy for convenience of situation in the process.
Before I started cursing for a time on my blog, I was treated like the star of the world. Now, I'm made fun of and put down constantly. How pathetic, just for cursing when I'm the one attacked. I did stop cursing! I didn't get the message to stop. They just wanted to see how far they could make me upset. They just roll their eyes and don't know what to say to that. I don't know how else to describe it. They just look aloof and condemning?? It's what I said, they are trying to get me to do things that only certain people disapprove of, that isn't wrong. Today at supper, I ended up thinking so what if someone did some really bad crime, doesn't mean you can be mean to me. I thought that crime specifically but did not mean that literally. What's the use of thinking of that like that? I had posted something related recently.
I think people are against me because of my race, really. Sorry to disappoint, but some people are. Don't encourage me to think about it and try to get back in my thoughts. I'm trying to ignore it.
I think in the end, I'm hated on for my age not being neither young enough nor old enough. They want one group of people or one individual to get everything forever, like something about them is of higher esteem and quality. When they get categorized into a group, they jump out of it and want something else, everything, too, it seems, so that others feel they don't deserve what they had, neither, when it's important.
People put me up to things I don't deserve to have and make me feel uncomfortable about getting any of anything like it.
Why is who I am defined only by my behavior? Race? Afraid I'll start being better when someone else is a different race?
I am upset I am not accepted by some people. They keep being mad at me for when I didn't know they really wanted me to stop cursing about putting these annoying noises in my room. They were being very mean. There was no reason to begin with. That probably made me even more mad, not think at least it's not my fault, just get mad. The effects are spreading. No one really knows me. Why should anyone have to suffer this? I know all these things are done to me cuz of things that were supposedly unfair to others or things that have nothing to do with me. Why not get mad at the other older adults who did them? I already explained why I cursed and that I wish I didn't. I had a reason. You all just wanna invade my privacy, along with "getting rid of me." Well, if you think about it in one way, no no one "has" to like anyone. I mean just anyone, since everyone is in such competition. Why like me?
What can I do or say to make things better? I wasn't that mean. Maybe, I could've said it better, thought more.
I feel I'm being made fun of for sounding like I'm pleaing, too. I don't have to be seen like that racially, pleaing like I'm that weak 1/2 Chinese girl.
You seem to wanna talk about that certain something yet also not. So, I dunno, think I shouldn't. Why does all this to others seem to stem from that? I'm trying to not talk about it.
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