cont.

I like everyone, but I don't wanna be anyone else.  They also made my internet stop working when I was about to post this.

Stop

They said I was someone I don't wanna be.

STOP

Stop irritating me.

What, I was upset about what I found out about someone?  And you lied about what someone really meant?  And you said what I said not what I really think/"said?"

Stop

Quit telling me I'm wrong.  I can't just listen to just anything!  If you leave me alone, things'd be fine.  You are even making fun of me for falling into a feeling of submission with someone, like I like it.

Problem

They are playing with a part of my body so I can't feel love.   I don't want to feel this from that person.

cont.

So, what went wrong?  "Why you be all up in my face?"  CAN'T YOU JUST CALM DOWN?

cont.

I hope there's nothing wrong with the fact I said something.  I don't want anyone mean in charge.  I was good and didn't say anything at 1st, but then I knew I had to "let the cat out of the bag."  Believe it.  I think I finished my statement.  :)  Just look and read and then think, and hopefully you will find a complete sentence/statement.

cont.

I care about everyone, if I could.

How It's Going

I do not like the silly references to a certain person in my life I know.  They keep acting like they can command whatever they chose of me, be it totally wrong or bad.  They are being suggestive, wrong, and bad, this person or whoever is pretending to be them.  Is it okay to say that?

Like, oh, you can't have this or that in a relationship.  "Just d**."

I didn't do anything, by the way.  I got upset at 1st and then realized it was probably important to not let stray thoughts enter my mind.  They sorta attacked me and tried to get me to submit in a way that made me uncomfortable.  I don't know what they want in their part with me.  This can't go on.  I am merely saying what is happening.  Yet, I feel so threatened.  It's that same problem coming back to bite me.

So, yea, sorry if you consider anything I've said in these last 2 posts inappropriate.  I don't know.  You didn't tell me.

To Clarify

That would include saying oh Christina has to be so careful in thinking cuz she's really bad or else she can't know someone she knows.  What do you have to say about doing that to someone??  What would you have to say???  Is it an inappropriate question?  No one said, Christina you cannot say nor do this or that or else you don't get something big you otherwise would have gotten, be that as it may ("whatever they choose.")  I am merely reporting/apologizing.  I am sorry if I messed anything up for anyone else, but don't believe I have.

My life is made to be explored, not to be told what to do out of a joke.  What happened?  Now, I cannot trust anyone.  You've all gone mad and "drunk?"  No offense.

The Report of How It Went? OK??

So, I tried to be respectful, but I will not be abused and made to submit to someone for bad reasons just because I felt upset at something upsetting, at 1st.  I'm also not here to play games like this.  I'm not here to let any of this happen now nor in my future.

Food for Thought

The only weird thing about having famous people know people in my life is is it appropriate?  I'm thinking why don't I know more people?  I see no one comments on my blog, neither.

It is a bit uncomfortable for me cuz it's like a feeling that I don't have a chance, just TBH (to be honest.)  It's like they stole my chance or didn't make it on their own.  Lotta people coulda made it big.  It must make them very happy.

To Clear Something Up

I kept feeling attacked about someone.

...I don't remember what I was talking about.

How sure can I be?

How sure can I be of some things?  I thought my dad made me do something.  I can faintly tell.  I know it was an accident.  It seemed like he had done it, like when people make you think of a bad thought and act like you did it.

Ugh! Another Explanation

I was in the bathroom, and I felt like I wanted people to know if I thought of something or what my experience was.  I'm used to having someone who loved me watch me for awhile supposedly.  I always "say" no, but I mean it was a little fun.  So, I say no.  I don't need anyone to watch me all the time.  I also communicate via my blog, tho.

Stuck Up Posse

Why are all the people I like conversing with those I am uncomfortable with who know me?  I saw someone speed in and out of my situation convincing extended family all to hate on me.  My dad didn't want me to visit them, anymore, cuz I changed my mind like 3 times, but he didn't say that.  I don't want like say my best friend to get too close to my parents.  I have a right to discuss this.  That's like having a boyfriend and having your nuisance of a father meeting up with him for a long time.  Or your mom talking to much to your favorite teacher??

Snide

Someone says nope I want Christina to get bothered all day by someone changing when things happen on my computer screen to send secret, annoying messages and noises in my room .. as well as the messages via people I see even or who know me.  Christina deserves it.  She said she didn't.  So, she does.  That's criminal.  No one has this happen to them.  You think it's funny..seriously?  If everyone says I'm so good, how is this teaching me anything/a lesson?  Are you capable of doing that?  I don't know about what you think the sum of my message means and what I really think, but it's not a nasty letter.  What a waste of my life and time.

Mad?

Trying to damage me thinking I won't wonder what just happened?  I guess some things are unfortunate.  I wouldn't do it (the punishment to someone else,) neither, just saying what seems logical to follow the questions.

If I fight about it even to prevent it happening to others would get someone mad and they wouldn't care if they do those things.

I think supposedly I didn't experience enough damage.

I don't claim to have done the deed on purpose.  I am sure my dad did it, made me think it.  I do not think what was thought by accident in the heat of the moment.

I'm guessing I hurt others's feelings by saying they hurt me or would hurt someone else, but I don't mean to bring it up all like that.

You know, I used to always be considered a nice person, and it was an accident wherein I can track I was framed selfishly.

All I can say is sorry..  Okay, then?  I thought I should explain why I experienced a reaction with my 1st section of writing.  The rest is in case.

Woah!

My mom woke up and kept at it, secret messages in the sounds she made.  I accidentally thought of the term "piece of s***."  Then, I just realized, she kept doing it and more words came to mind that I tried to gloss out.  I can't seem to think without the curse words, as of an encounter with a few people in 2009.  I just have to sift thru my thoughts somehow, but I don't mean the nastiness in those terms.  I know I was set up to think the and then to get in trouble for it.  I didn't say it.  I was doing my laundry.  The sad thing is she was just being tacky and got mad I thought for her to leave me alone.  It's just a warning sign to let me gain composure.  I don't know why when I see my dad or mom I forget to ignore them.  That's my strategy.  I was doing hard labor.  It's harder to think then!  I didn't mean the words.  What about me being bugged?  You think it's just "trash?"  Or doesn't matter?  I am quite certain the curse words came to mind because the word "trash" did deep in my subconscious.  It's an inappropriate term lodged in from things like teachers when I was a kid/preteen.  I know it makes other curse words come up just to avoid it.  When I ignore people, I tend to think that what they did was the S word.  I am not talking to them but myself.  They somehow know, tho.  I don't think anyone else gets in trouble for cursing.  I don't mean it, but it comes up when no other feeling will in its place and meaning.  I'm so sorry.  Maybe, my mom didn't mean anything.  I need to get this straightened out.  It makes sense to think "what" someone did as the S word but not your parents.  They might be that way, but you don't say it.  It might come up "in the heat of the moment."  My dad and mom keep putting stress on me when I'm with them so I can't think and just hear their insults and keep thinking, "Leave me alone," and, "Stop."  They think that's bad, I swear.  So, then, the next insult comes.  I don't mean it, but I can't seem to deal with my thoughts when I'm there.  I do gloss over the curse words and say to myself quickly I don't mean it.