Apologizing, Not Begging

I'm sorry I was so upset today.  I tried to not be.  I got some threats that bothered me.  Anyway, it's off to bed.  Not sure if I shoulda mentioned the threats.  At least not like that.

Apology

I didn't know that saying "sh" before part of someone's name was so offensively shocking.  It was in a story.  There was no telling what I meant.  I would do that in a real story, but since this is online and about someone else I did have faint thoughts of disclaiming it as not an insuult.  I guess I figured they'd know I have nothing against them and that it was a joke.  I just didn't know.  I was upset it was considered an insulting thing and to explain slipped my mind.  How would I ever know all these little annoying things would be seen as taking out funning and pleasure against someone?  I had a feeling people would know what I meant.  How would I know?  I thought it sounded cute.  I know now and won't do it.  I even thought of one for me Christina Shitstina.  I almost cursed awhile ago, TBH (to be honest..)  It doesn't bother me if it's just in fun.  I didn't really mean it personally.  It was just a story.  I thought it was.. guess I got caught up in things.  I didn't mean it in an insult in any way.  It shocked me the way this cute trick came out.  I should have picked a new letter combination.  How about like Christina Ristina.  People are finding damage in what I write like I'm making some sort of pattern, but I'm not.  I don't see anyone else out here writing so much that they will get caught.  This is dangerous.  You should not assume that these things are catch phrases when they need to be used for other purposes.  It can get in the way, when you do things like this.  No one will know what to do.  I guess I cannot apologize enough in others's opinions yet still.  I didn't mean anything.  How can I say I'm sorry?  I just picked a weird thing to say just to see if it was okay?  I could not think.  I could have used it on someone else and it'd go.

Why I Said It This Time

I dunno, it seems a permanent part of my life.  Talking it out, it may not help.  It seems some people went wild about me being online and are pinpointing fault in me.

I just felt really bad, that's all.  I like the person.  I just don't like the message others are giving me.  My parents didn't care if I stomped growing up, except probably moreso in public.  They don't like me throwing things.  The world is just so agitated and hectic.

I find what is going on to be suggestive.  I feel even threatened.  I cannot pay for all this.  People are being mean to nice people to hurt me, too, "instead" of just me or with whatever applied to them.

What It Is

Someone keeps posting on my page on Facebook just to secretly annoy me.  I liked someone from Australia, but someone else from there who's weird keeps posting there.  I bet someone else is getting affection.

Problem

They are going back and misanalyzing my past.  I can hit stuff if I wanted without worrying about being punished.  Shouldn't the bad feelings only come naturally?  What business is this of yours?  I'm too old for anyone to judge me and punish me.  I'm only supposed to get kindness at this age and level of maturity.  You shouldn't be making me mad.  If you heard torturing noises and your parents wouldn't stop bugging you in secret, what would you do?  Call the police?  They would ruin the experiment!  These are the things that make me wanna m*********, probably.  No one seems to care, except people who can't do anything unless I post it here.  They keep doing things and I can't write them all down.

Apology

Do what ya'll must, I am so sorry.  For getting upset and being crazy if it happened.. I tried not to post that.  Some of the things made sense, but it's not a normal thing to talk about.  Maybe, there are other things I did not talk about.

Are ya'll trying to punish me?  I'm 28 and didn't do anything wrong.

All these people working for ya'll have one thing that's important to them, that they feel on top.

So, someone is messing with me now.  There are all these negative messages about me.  I shouldn't have to go thru with this.

How does it make a difference if I report something on this blog or not, simply put too.

So, why do they pop up and say mean things that are offensive topics to others, the reaction they are drawing out.

Disclaimer

I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, but I felt affected, about saying something can't happen to me but to someone else.  I see them slowly in a process of having other people do things and not me.  I'm just informing.  Sorry if I did anything or just said anything wrong.

Upset

I'm so sorry if you know how I really felt behind screen.  I do get upset.  You should do what you want.  Am I supposed to be quiet?  I feel I am in trouble all the time for nothing but racism.

Why is talking to me always a fight?  I am speaking in general.

But sorry.  I said you should all do what you want.

What can I do to make things better?  At any moment, anything could be said of me.