I don't care what you say.  The only thing I do wrong is refuse to listen to bad people.  I get mad and make somewhat small mistakes.  I should try harder to ignore mean people and not do anything that's believably bad.

Yer nat the genius who gets to suddenly make an image saying I'm really bad for attention.

Think of all the time

that these other people are always having an attitude.  They just "know" it's okay for them.  I know I didn't start whatever caught your eye.  If so, you should leave me alone.  You never leave me alone and are mean to me.

It feels like a trap to say this, but someone wants to rub in something sick they think about me related to my dad on a big scale.  Also, I feel as tho someone is tossing me aside to be punished for being upset at them being mean to me to start.

O Boo Hoo

All the bad things I have done.

Wonder what's next..  Now, I have to remember to be smart.  What does that entail in thee experience?  Just try to be more appropriate so nothing sticks out.  Maybe, enlightenment will follow.  Don't panic, most important.  *Eyeballs look right and left in dark*

Apology

I'm sorry I said something drastic, was a bit tippy I guess.  I had this weird idea I would have to say it someday.

Wow

I can't believe how upset I was interpreted to be.  I feel people think I'm back talking.  I'm naaat.  :(  This is my blog, my problems blog.  I'm trying to straighten things out so I can move on.

Apology

When I said touch, I didn't mean inappropriately.  I just made it up, like what it should mean.

I should have said so.

A Nuisance

He kept smiling trying to think I submit to him.  Why is he in my life again?  Sure, I'd want a healthy relationship.  Wasn't I independent?

Problem

My dad is going in and saying maybe I'm not that good and need the poor man's reward.

Serious Talk

Why doesn't my dad go "touch" someone else?  I'm no more worthless.  None of what's going on is right.  Maybe, he should touch himself.  :(  I'm not serious.

What's not right is the idea that just because he's my dad I should be susceptible to him when I already fit in in the world.

Unfair Social Life in My Life Somehow

I fear everyone, the people experimenting on me, might now jump on the bandwagon with whatever anyone mean wants to do to me or what my dad does.

This post is addressed to whoever finds it interesting.  Also, it worries me, like I have to notice it myself at least.  I can see this like this huge.

Well

It was a bit bothersome.  What did I do wrong?  Something in the past I didn't agree.

Yea

I always am trying to make good use of my time and enjoy myself and want my parents and people to leave me alone sometimes..

People Being Weird to Me

I don't need insulting secret messages.  My parents.  Also, I'm 28.  No one cares about my situation.

Suffering in Private

I put up with stuff from certain people in private.

I think I just did what I was told, too, but they still got mad.

I am 28.

Why am I being threatened like a kid?  I didn't do anything.  I need my freedom of speech to discuss problems.  I can see my life going down a spiral.  (?)

cont.

It's important.

(I dunno why the last post posted already.)

My dad needs to stop being able to boss people around.  That's impolite.

I don't get it.

Why be so harsh on where my thoughts take me, tho?  This is making me uncomfortable.  What could happen next?

This is just hyperactive psycho-ness, and in general I would not pay any mind.

How You Roll

Why are you testing me so much about being in the moment?  Like, if I mess up a thought it's over.

Why am I getting more ambiguous secret messages?  What did I do now?  Why is it always that I did something?  Not to please my dad.

Why

Is my dad repeating himself and making such an indent with this secret message?  It is not polite for me to even talk about it, so why bring it up?  Is he trying to support someone else in something?

Problem

These people were tacky and managed to say, "I just want you to know you're shit."  Try getting back with me after that.  The text never used to blink during Word Wrap  I find these glitches to be suggestive.

I had a pretty good night late last night-

I awoke to some sensitive communications "that I can't have" basically a relationship with someone cuz of something I did.. when they slyly put something into my life I merely typed a lot about what bothered me in relation to the nature and disposition sorta of the message.  So what?  I said I liked the message, tho.  I had a lotta typing, tho.  Why does this recurringly pop up?  It's my dad, and my mom follows suit.  I already tried to take back my parents's marriage, but they don't care that they had problems raising my brother.  Why should I listen to someone deciding something for me or someone else like this?  And my brother's gone, getting his Masters this year and has an apartment.  Me, I have nothing, just my mean parents who I moved here to live with cuz I liked them better than the stuck up, sloppy kids left in the college dorms I was at.  The people outside are making annoying, disturbing noises, too.  Like, the cars go by and make a certain presentation of dragging you into their worthless banter.

I guess all you can say is I don't have to listen to my dad, but this is a shadow hanging over me.  I will not listen to these things to do with my dad.  Why is he in my life, now?  I mean with these kinds of things.  Or anything at all?

The other thing is did someone else purposely make the same decision as my dad?  If so, what can I do to change that?  It seems it's ruined for no reason, already.  Why does it matter what I did?  They have no rules of behavior.  Is there a problem, anyway?  I feel like being good doesn't mean anything to them and it brings me pain to do it for them.  I do like to be good anyway, tho, so I suppose that is how that works out.

But yea, anyway, my dad is so into saying I don't deserve this relationship.  I don't like it, he probably would even spurt out it doesn't matter.

About their marriage, I mean a split would be healthy.  I'm worried to leave them alone, sorta.  Just the nature of it.  We were gonna have a nice life, where my mom was with my brother and my dad gets to move and get a job and me in college..

Ah!

I feel I have a responsibility to this blog.  Can't we say what I do wrong before and separate from now?  I just feel so tested.  I don't think it's right.  I wouldn't do it..  It looks weird.  I feel they already decided I was rebellious in quiet way, but it doesn't matter and I'm not.  What is going on?  I'm just asking what's going on, not like saying it weirdly.  I'll just try again.  I need some outlet.  Seems it's this problems blog.

So, I will try not to run into bad thoughts.  I found that to be a problem today.  I was doing laundry and was criticizing people in my head.

Hm, Anger Management is on.  I shouldn't take this seriously.  I took it too seriously.

It's rather sad how I went insane a little when I came home tonight.  You can just forget about me and my foolishness.  I wonder how I can be a help.  1 thing I know is I can do the towels, too.  Dishes.  Not much to do.  I can sing on video for the kids to look me up.  Fun for me.  I wonder if there is real volunteer work I can do that would lead to money, like helping with poor and war.

I feel it is so hard to function and when I get upset sometimes.  I don't wanna get mad at people.  I am sorry I did.  I think I was mad.

I can get my Gramma a card.

"Don't let your past get in the way of your future."  They just said that on TV.  Credit doesn't matter.  I have bad credit so it's hard to move.

What else?  That was a good session.  I wonder if IMDb will be a good influence.  Only place where people are there often.  I just feel I am in trouble for life no matter what I do and it could spark anger in me of the guilt, you know?  Just for things I list on my site..  Not sure how bad.  People said I was good mostly.  That's just a few things not like big violent things all the time with a big attitude.  I am so careful.  I am good, too.  I am serious about things that need to be serious about.  I tried to change finally and be a bit more friendly, too.

Things may go wrong, I hope not, here I go.  I am getting better at ignoring.  I hope I don't get crazy minus the any reason why.  It is too late, so I must just be helpful.  I think I am in trouble for wanting to be left alone, need to be gentle around my mom with cancer.  I am a bit weird and stuff and need to stop.  If they say I'm someone else, so be it.  There probably is a reason.

So, I hope that I do good work in how I act and whatever else I do.  I do want a place in life in a career.  I wish we would help people more.  Maybe, I should read the military.  And the poor.  Spread awareness.  It's interesting.  Also, tho, you never know what's not even on this earth.  There could be problems in other parts of the universe.