I'm just upset at being mistreated.

I wasn't even trying to be mean to someone.

I don't need someone who doesn't care about me bossing me around.

If you're still wondering, I don't know what just made me mad.  I just feel like I've done nothing and these experimenters are incredibly mean.

What is your problem?  Nothing just happened.  You  have no right to do this.  Why can't I just relax?

I'm tired of  ya'll doing things for this other person while I suffer barely able to stay awake but not time to sleep.  It's about her against me, but you say it's me against her.

They are threatening me.

The Oscars were lousy, especially at the end, but better than last year.

I added more to the top.

See, she can do what she wants.  I will just be mad at those who know me for preventing me from not feeling in trouble.

You people are pathetic and can't leave me alone.

She's being mean.  I was upset at the Oscars.  My mom made me think of the N word and they made fun of me at the Oscars in coded message.  They were joking about her getting attention.  They said it in a bemused way, tho.  That could have triggered my talk.  I'm not sure what I'd say otherwise.  I didn't really attack her!

So, no, I did not offend anyone.

I see I was upset she got what I am in trouble not to get.  I was talking about it.  Mainly the fact I'm in trouble for nothing.

I also edited the heading of this blog to explain more about what I tend to do it seems.

All I Made My Point Last Night

was why that girl feels so confident posting pictures of her getting attention with a bemused grin and beady (as in dark and  bit bulbous alluding) eyes.  This is as to what I started discussing.  Other things came up.  I said last night even noting that bad.  I just wanted to know why I get in trouble for nothing and not her, showing off.  I found that my point, the me getting in trouble.  Not so interested in her bemused looks themselves, after all.

So..

Is it safe to go to bed?

Update

New heading.

I don't like someone using someone against me, like I can't handle my life.  Does this prove the lie?  Why can't I just go to bed feeling good after doing what others find nasty?  I was dodging being bad.  I will not take lies and harsh treatment, when others treat me much better.  I mean lying that I did something.  This is my personal journal.  I will not sit here and calculate the things that go by like this.  I'll just post it.  This is where I think my thoughts out and get help.

I can't believe how forward outcasted personalities are to me.

Yes, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.  I'm glad I roped off the problem.

Like I can't have them.  I'm not sure, but I think someone else thinks that, too.

I have things in my life I'm willing to share, but this person keeps thinking people I meet are for her.

I saw someone I liked from Australia who was very attractive and now I have someone else from Australia who keeps answering my posts, an older lady.  I know she was assigned to be all up in my life like that.  I don't think I'm the one who'd need that check-up.  They're ruining it for me, sending me meaningless messages.

Let's clear away this point 1st so baby is not stuck in the middle.

I got upset and hit my sofa one week.  So what?  You took away something important I felt in my life or else not much would be that important to me.  Including this punishment.

my life is rough and tough for no reason.  I feel stress even writing this, like I'll "lose all my friends."

That's partly a poor example.  I don't really mind.  It's just

Just figuring.  I am not out to get your kids.

If I don't care about your "marriage," I don't care about your kids.

Don't lie and tell me I was being mean to this person.  I just said others were mean to others.  Except, they are nicer to this person than to me.  I had more dirt that they don't gotta do much to get attention.  They just live life like a normal person, grow and develop, and get lucky.

They think it's a project.

To be nice to someone and to treat me meanly.

Lie

Doing something wrong is no excuse for someone to be mean.

What did others do to deserve that, be treated better than me?

See this person is on others's good side and I never was.

You know what else I caught?

This person is accepted by lesser individuals but told she doesn't have to talk to them while they threaten me to talk to them.

What I'm Mad About Otherwise

Just the way the other person coasts by taking all the esteem I earned and getting mad if I don't let her have it.

In general that the person coasts with others, like Chloe Grace Moretz in Dark Shadows just saying one thing and it being a big deal just cuz she said it.

Hello?

Fine.  I also am a normal girl who's not queer.  Do I not fit into either category?

I don't think all these people's thinking are above mine.  Why is this girl told she is so perfect?  It's like a detriment to other people who are told the opposite of themselves.

You're still trapping my ability to concentrate.

Why not leave me be rather than doing weird things like at the Oscars?

I can't quite put my finger -- yea, I don't think just that 1 younger girl is interested in having a good life.

Lookie this person was just bad.  I wasn't doing anything and was attacked and provoked to simply have a curse word come up cuz you keep flooding me with petty insults.

I don't know what's wrong with this person.  If I could lose weight again from pills, I would be thin again.  They have that tacky grin and those beady (like beady as in strong and visible) eyes.  That bemused, separated look like "I have to be the one felt up for" and while I just make fun of you like you want that."  Well, I don't, I don't do that and don't do certain things with those people.  Would I like to be friends?  I dunno!  Who wouldn't?

Don't play this out like it's big for the other person.  It's about their features but what other people puppet her to do, like a puppet on strings or what have you??  :/

Is this even appropriate.  What are you hoping to gain?  Apparently, people will all start to check in but not realize what's too late to do.

I have other problems.  People are supporting mean friends just because I got lonely and spammed them when they stopped being my friend it seemed like.  I look around in the world and it's about their mis-relationship with me.

If 1 Related Thing Makes Me Angry Related to Something of Someone's

it would be the people tracking me down keeping me from something just for hitting my sofa 1 week.  YOU WERE MEAN TO ME AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT I WANT IN PRIVATE.

Some people don't make themselves useful online.  Fine, act it up in real life, if possible.

Other People: "I guess all the attention just came naturally."

I can see you just looking on everything wrong on this blog I made for the public access.  You wish.

You have your diary, here's mine.

Why don't you talk to this person?

So, something is wrong and we all know it's sin.

Fame Babies

Use them as a racist tool.

I'm not fighting.  This is just what's happening and I'm trying to not insult the person.

Are you forgetting what the top of my blog says?  These are thoughts that everyone has who meets me.  I'm not posting this for someone famous.

So, I'm dumped by all, whilst others gain what I had?

What's there to even talk about?  This person is a pin cushion for personal pleasure.

}:  WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US

Wow, this person has people guarding her taking all the things of the nature that I earned.  Well, I am too disgusted to even want them back.  You should not bore into my head that I'm a bad person and put up with your worrying I need to be punished.  I did not grow up all punished.  I was good.  What did I do, now?  Something from 15 years ago?

I see you're watching me.

Question

Disclaimer: The caps are not a threat/shouting..

WHY DOES THiS OTHER PERSON JUST COAST ALONG

Why can't other people ever have fun, too??

I can see this person all giddy like my cousin about being the youngest.  What is their unusually close company for now?

Picking on me.

So, why is this person even posting this stuff?  No one probably does anything with that.  I'm not the one in trouble while my whole life I was considered the best behaved.  What did I do?  I don't like people roughing me around like they're all that.

How do I solve my problems if every time I write down something, something else happens?

I'm not doing this.  You be mean to me and say someone gets something I don't and I don't do anything wrong and you get mad.

These people in my room spout random insults.

Apology

Sorry if over on Facebook you are upset at what I said @ Bella Thorne.  I wasn't trying to attack her.  It's obvious.

I don't like people secretly telling me I do things wrongly when I don't.  I'm not answering to mistakes from the past every day.

Apology

I only have the right to be mad with myself.  I don't know who dunnit.  Even if they did, I dunno whose fault it was.  I am not asking for "forgiveness."

I've been trying to avoid "fighting."  That's why I'm not like all talking about this, plus I had a revelation it was a waste of my time when I went thru a phantasmagoria.

Of course, it's insulting messages.  I welcomed them to leave before.

Do you know people who just can't be quiet and get out?  That's what it's like when the people experimenting on me always mess with how the computer loads like I need them to talk to me.

What's so amazing about telling me I did something wrong when I didn't?  You think I was so bad when you annoyed me and I kept hitting my couch.

Who Done What

Knowest Not I, but they aren't going to be very happy.  Why?  Cuz I don't care what they say.

I'm weird

I should not have been so upset about the talking.

People make me mad.  I already explained myself, at least partly.  How would anyone even know what happened?

So, I get told something insulting, like I'm just to be tossed aside.  I kept flaring at myself on the inside in my room in my bed.  People keep insulting me in what they say, like I wanna follow a string of messages.  I did actually manage to not tell myself the truth.  The truth I still do not know to myself.  So, I was dodging getting too upset.  What was mentioned about someone more innocent was just an accident and barely breathed out.  I told myself what was done was wrong to quell my anger.  I got upset at the root of the blame, but I've been trying to hold back.  I couldn't land this nonsense anywhere.  I've been stolen from my esteem.  I don't wanna be bugged by the people talking to me in my room nor my parents!  This isn't the 1-way ticket out.  If you don't like me and just be nice to me to act like Johnny Depp, fine, but I can call the police.

I already told myself I had what I needed, but you people keep being the ones to tell me otherwise!

Why are these people talking to me meanly like this while I type?

Mad

I dunno who done what, but I had a mad reaction.

I don't think it's "cute," and I don't think it's "funny."

I guess no one cares who done what, long as it's been done.

You can't have a say in my life if I can't have a say in the world.

Would I do outlandish things to myself if I felt bad about what I did?  Does anyone have a right to try to make another person feel bad?

If you wonder why I look how I do it's cuz I haven't been out day in and day out.  I'm not reduced to nothing really.  That's why I need to work on school.  I won't be sedentary.

I did not do anything to anyone badly.  I am just a problem for others.  I just wanna coast thru my days now, but I can't.

They are disturbing me in private, again.

Apology?

What happened to make for such a bad day?

I wanted to be nice to Dad, but on the inside kept making me mad.  His driving off-ed one of my eyes.  Someone may have told him to hurt me for a silly reason or because of silly people.  People in Orlando I can say easily are very off.

Very sorry, I should not be out of it.  I go to bed, everything is fine, I forget.  Help me now.

Also, about the California comment, lotta people know and have problems, not pointing anyone out.

Did you know I am a little sick and delusional?

I guess it was a big accident.

My dad left me hanging.  I was thinking how normal people can fun @ curse words, like construction workers, army, etc.  They think they are so smart.  My dad on purpose bothered me in secret message about touching someone, surprised me.  I thought of cursing again more carefully and it came up but not in context of a sentence.

I'm so sorry for if I should not have said anything.  I'm sure there was something good I should say.  I dunno really what others think of this.

I had a phantasmagoria when I was on pain killers for my spine for 12 hours in bed trying to sleep.  I heard Dr. Phil or someone telling me I want this now that now in lapses, in between.  I have been trying to exercise not doing this/relaxing.  I cannot get a hold of those thoughts.  I just wait as if for the Messiah.

Maybe alas it's time to rest.  I am ready to have fun.  I guess it'll be a 1 person party.

Why are people racist to me?  Aren't there things other than that to notice?  I'm not the only type of monkey.  It's like I'm offensive.  Why am I talking back if others don't suffer racism?  Just been wondering.

I feel like I'm being teased about something I didn't do.  I'm so sad.

I guess I should not have had anything against anyone now.  What is done, what I've said, no one cares when they should be outta this mess.  I can see it coming.  I mean when I say I have a problem with something.  None of this was like this before.  I stand in general where I stand.

Too late to be sorry, waw waw waw.

Sorry?  It was partly me and maybe partly just an accident.

I like being Caucasion and attractive.

Why did you pay attention to me but just get mad too easily?

What's do cute and convenient in disowning me if something upsets me?

Why are people who love to California so mean or annoying?

You don't have to pay attention to me.

Just tell me what I really say so I can fix it.  If no one can do that, ya'll don't care.

Supposedly, I don't know whose fault it is.

It doesn't matter if I don't get attention, but I don't like this game of people pushing me around.  It's also like feeling I'm a failure.

Why are people mean to me when I get the attention I need or appreciate?

Why are people telling me what I ^really^ said?

Why have I lost at least 3 relationships to someone being other people's "spitting image" in the situation at least racially?

I was trying to be quiet but guess that does nothing, "relatively speaking."  I am trying to avoid talking about someone, but this seems to be happening in general and of interest.

If I Could Do It Differently/What I Did

I don't wanna be bothered for petty mishaps and felt ashamed.

I guess I'd try to forget about it.  There's nothing to think.  What?  Oh, I see, it's a discipline tool.

You just wanna be mean to me all the time.  What if that happened to you.  Don't give me none of your nonsense.

This just proves  you all actually think this is an opportunity to be racist.

So, tell me, how would you feel if it was you being picked on when  you think you're staying popular by picking on me, anyone?  This is outrageous and outlandish.  I am getting messages from Ellen via people right and left supposedly cuza my dad, which I won't accept.

Apology

I came home from college sick.  I was startled with a laced insult.  I got mad but missed a lot of the targets.  I understand if you think I'm unfit.  You don't have to pay attention to me.  Sorry, for the targets I sorta got.  It was a mistake, a known one at the time.  I just didn't know what to think and was too late but after didn't think anything.

Contest

I could get confused by you and do one thing wrong and I'd be out.

Ellen DeGeneres

I find her "unforgiving" in an impersonal way, and she'd think you were making fun of Hitler if you said she herself has things that would then not be forgiven.  I think she's the type that's afraid to dip her toes in the water.  I don't like how she's like my dad secretly getting into others's business.

By saying she is unforgiving I'm not implying perversion but the basic fact that if you do something wrong you're out.  That really wouldn't be convenient for her, almost perfect she thinks other than not forgiving others as Jesus said, a simple task in everyday life.

Then, she follows the new ways of people like my Gramma, to "leave no stone unturned."  People are allowed to be upset, especially if someone is trying to hurt people.  Can anyone prove me wrong?  If you could, you should not be mad at me and hurt me emotionally.  Then, you'd simply relapse into the saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  I mean relapse as in you'd think this and then forget what I just said.

I refuse to live in a world where your mouth only remains in a simple smile.  That's not this world.  I don't think Jesus smiles much.

So, ya, anyone can help me with this?  You know how to come in contact with me (like my forum.)