Sorry I had a fit and felt upset about something or seemingly someone.

I wonder how you look fighting with a nice and accomplished person like me all day.

My mom keeps doing mean things to make me look bad when I wanna get back.

Apology

Sorry for the bad words that came up while I was bothered.  I didn't mean them, but I have to mean something.

I tagged my last post Apologies.

OK so I was just worried about soaking in the Buddhist humming my mom left on in the room I was ironing in.  People have been at me for liking Middle Easterners etc.

I feel I am slowly whittling away from relationships.

So, how can I get those people for annoying me.  I mean the ones messing with me in my room with hacking my computer to make things load like talking and the noises from the little expensive speakers.

Sad

I don't know if it was really my mom I was mad at.  Who, then, you ask?  Can I keep myself from getting mad?  I hope my mom is okay.

More questions?  I'm just overly sensitive.  Or I know why it was really done.  Maybe, the person felt an honest compelling reason.  I know some people seem nastier than others altogether or in some ways..  Everyone says yes and no about if they are nice to me.

I know if I write something down doesn't mean someone can nor will fix it.

This could be a big experience for me.  I don't want it to be taken away.  They're just being foolish.  They keep being mean to me in private with these little talking noises they put in my room.  This is a punishment, on doubt about it, and that's not okay.  I didn't really do anything, neither.

Watch someone else get this experience when I get old and it won't be as bad cuz they're "all white."

Even the hint of calling them names does not satisfy.

The only thing that comes to my mind as a strategy is to knock 'em, but that's not what I mean and that's not gonna work.  This has gotta stop.  I'm not sitting here soaking this in.

You can't tell me what I could or could not say.

No one cares what I say that I am treated like a loser by people watching me in private!  And the nasty messages they relayed they said were from Ellen or whoever they wanna make up.

I'm awake, still tired, irritable.. but I'm sorry last night didn't go so smoothly.  I must admit lotta turmoil injected here, 'way I see things.  Calls for a degree of mental flubs.  What to do?

I am so sorry for my seeming temper.  I thought my way outta it.  What you do you deemed reasonable.  I don't mean to be mean.  I pray for the innocent people involved.  Do what you must.  If you must forget about me, even for a time, is what could be needed.  If you wanna set straight something with me is fine, as well.  I tried to shut up, but apparently that's not enough..

I feel so bad.  But I didn't do anything!

Oh no's!

Will you ever forgive me?  I thought something sad against someone cuz I felt threatened that someone had to hurt them.  A not really moment.

They were being super annoying in the bathroom..

Stop threatening to steal my relationships.

That guy wouldn't stop!  Why do you care what I say back but not what you do and about getting too close?

Do you need another explanation?

I was merely thinking for my dad to stop being mean to me, and he's all ratting me out and trying to annoy me and acting like he's white.

Quit telling me I did something wrong.

I wonder if people feel obliged to talk to me.  They can talk to others and have different relationships.

Do you know about lying that like you have issues just to get someone else to bring something outta me?  It must be a mutual consensus.

Who has the right to say I deserve nothing?  That means you're talking about what's earned.  I could chose to ignore this, but why has this overcome my life?  It could result on a real life fight or conflict.

Why is Ellen still popular?  Why do other people still have a chance?

Someone is acting possessively of me and just flat out mean, and no I don't approve of that from anyone, saying I'm in trouble.

I feel bothered by some people about attention you get.

I didn't have these annoying messages before watching Ellen.

Ah!

Bad words I did not want to come came for someone else.  I dunno I feel so humiliated to be insulted by them.

Now, what??  No, I did not call anyone the N word in my mind on purpose.  I think it should be legal, but I don't do it.

Look, about the experimenters too I feel really bad.  I dunno what's going on.  I feel bad for the others.  I told my mom about her being agitating.  It was serious.  I even thought that.  I could tell the danger was coming.  I am not happy.  I didn't think that.  I wanted not to have that come out.  Help!  You all are copying something my Gramma did, did something really bad so I'd talk back and look bad and you use that against me.

What They Did

They set me up to think of bad words and then talked about someone who we should respect..  I tried to fix it, but it already happened.  I don't know how it was on purpose, but it's not.  I got some nasty messages.  Look, I said leave me alone, and my mom was being mean, too.

I don't think you really wanna do this.  I'm ugly, anyway..

STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

Problems

I asked my mom why she was acting agitated cuz it brought bad words to mine.  No one better make fun of me or pick on me for it.  She just left and said she was waiting for the chicken to thaw to eat.  I think she is copying my dad.  I said, "What do you think I'm stupid?  I asked you a question."

I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!

Problem

They are being annoying to me in my spare time.  They are dancing around saying I received a negative message.

I hope you aren't thinking of that girl.

WHY ARE YOU BEING WASTEFUL OF MY SPARE TIME

YOU WANNA JOB?   WELL, GUESS WHAT?  I DON'T GOT ONE!

Look I don't care how the page loads.

These people keep talking to me via how the computer loads every time telling me insulting lies to submit to about who I am, how I think, and what happens to me or not.

People are trying to make me feel bad out of nowhere.  I don't live my life messing up.  I'm constantly being wronged.

LOL Apologize?

The N word came tom my mind on accident and mostly was directed away from someone.  That's up to you if you wanna joke me.

You can't sit on the sidelines and adjust my actions to perfection and hate on me in the moment not knowing that until I realize it later.

Also, you can't act condescending to me all the time and mad at little things.

I said I'm not here to be your slave.  For the sake of others I spoke out.  I dunno part of what they're doing.  A nice person is not someone who hurts you.

You look like a scared little bug.

What did I do wrong?  My thoughts did not break thru the cusp.  I didn't mean to talk about someone.  What's the next conflict so I can dish out the rules?

So, my Facebook is slow to post these quotes now.  It messes up.

I just wanna forget about some things for other reasons, but I think it's sad and bad.

There's someone on Facebook representing something against me who keeps posting to me.

It has come to my attention someone wants self-pity for what I said.  I am sorry, don't remember insulting you.  I don't mean to burst your bubble by saying you're bemused at me.  You do look down on me for the bad things people say about me.  I just noticed you all are participating in my punishment, which is sick.  I am just a servant to Ellen.  I mean it in the way that we all are.

I see you're just wasting my life.

Is Facebook down?

"You're the one with the problem.."

They are "making a big deal over nothing."

I ALREADY SAID YOU ARE ALWAYS BEING MEAN TO ME

The wrong things I said the other/s thought were cuza you.  Just clearing that up, too..

So, that was so you know you got what you want covered with me.

How pathetically cruel, you wanna k*** me for her?

The Future

I may talk about her, but I'm mostly onta you.

THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'm not worried about what I said.  Make some rules.  I'll tell you if I approve.

I'm really sorry but don't know what is flat out wrong with what I said.  I should have if I could thought sooner not to think of the other person.  I could feel it in me.  It finally came to my knowledge.  I just had to complain about my problem.  Something made me go coocoo, maybe the medicine.  I didn't settle down an d hink straight.  I wonder why.  Can you help with the problem?

So, why is this other person mean to me?  You told her to do it!

So, what's it to ya?  Superstitious about my right to be interested in things like Ellen and what they have to say?

I even said sorry.  Someone is being a "party pooper."

I see people are fooling around like they can mother me.  How pathetic.

They keep communicating with me all meanly.  It's not very good.

I already told you what made me mad.  QUIT TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO.

I was mad and hit my sofa 1 week, as well as throwing things in my room that won't break.  I happened to be interested in looking like Ellen at the time and other people who do that.  Now, they are being superstitious and telling me I can't get into that stuff.  I feel it's not there.

I'm just upset at being mistreated.

I wasn't even trying to be mean to someone.

I don't need someone who doesn't care about me bossing me around.

If you're still wondering, I don't know what just made me mad.  I just feel like I've done nothing and these experimenters are incredibly mean.

What is your problem?  Nothing just happened.  You  have no right to do this.  Why can't I just relax?

I'm tired of  ya'll doing things for this other person while I suffer barely able to stay awake but not time to sleep.  It's about her against me, but you say it's me against her.

They are threatening me.

The Oscars were lousy, especially at the end, but better than last year.

I added more to the top.

See, she can do what she wants.  I will just be mad at those who know me for preventing me from not feeling in trouble.

You people are pathetic and can't leave me alone.

She's being mean.  I was upset at the Oscars.  My mom made me think of the N word and they made fun of me at the Oscars in coded message.  They were joking about her getting attention.  They said it in a bemused way, tho.  That could have triggered my talk.  I'm not sure what I'd say otherwise.  I didn't really attack her!

So, no, I did not offend anyone.

I see I was upset she got what I am in trouble not to get.  I was talking about it.  Mainly the fact I'm in trouble for nothing.

I also edited the heading of this blog to explain more about what I tend to do it seems.

All I Made My Point Last Night

was why that girl feels so confident posting pictures of her getting attention with a bemused grin and beady (as in dark and  bit bulbous alluding) eyes.  This is as to what I started discussing.  Other things came up.  I said last night even noting that bad.  I just wanted to know why I get in trouble for nothing and not her, showing off.  I found that my point, the me getting in trouble.  Not so interested in her bemused looks themselves, after all.

So..

Is it safe to go to bed?

Update

New heading.

I don't like someone using someone against me, like I can't handle my life.  Does this prove the lie?  Why can't I just go to bed feeling good after doing what others find nasty?  I was dodging being bad.  I will not take lies and harsh treatment, when others treat me much better.  I mean lying that I did something.  This is my personal journal.  I will not sit here and calculate the things that go by like this.  I'll just post it.  This is where I think my thoughts out and get help.

I can't believe how forward outcasted personalities are to me.

Yes, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.  I'm glad I roped off the problem.

Like I can't have them.  I'm not sure, but I think someone else thinks that, too.

I have things in my life I'm willing to share, but this person keeps thinking people I meet are for her.

I saw someone I liked from Australia who was very attractive and now I have someone else from Australia who keeps answering my posts, an older lady.  I know she was assigned to be all up in my life like that.  I don't think I'm the one who'd need that check-up.  They're ruining it for me, sending me meaningless messages.

Let's clear away this point 1st so baby is not stuck in the middle.

I got upset and hit my sofa one week.  So what?  You took away something important I felt in my life or else not much would be that important to me.  Including this punishment.

my life is rough and tough for no reason.  I feel stress even writing this, like I'll "lose all my friends."

That's partly a poor example.  I don't really mind.  It's just

Just figuring.  I am not out to get your kids.

If I don't care about your "marriage," I don't care about your kids.

Don't lie and tell me I was being mean to this person.  I just said others were mean to others.  Except, they are nicer to this person than to me.  I had more dirt that they don't gotta do much to get attention.  They just live life like a normal person, grow and develop, and get lucky.

They think it's a project.

To be nice to someone and to treat me meanly.

Lie

Doing something wrong is no excuse for someone to be mean.