How did I bother you?

See, they don't listen.  They have a system.  They do something else.

I haven't "lost control."  You had.  Who?  I don't wanna name so I don't get them in trouble or something.. and it could be someone else.. like the experimenters.  What?  Cruel lies.  Something upset me.  I just wanted to say I'm being lied to..

And I'm not yer slave, I'm not listening, the way you take my writing as Chinese chicken scratch.

You tell me something I don't like, I can tell you "something" you don't like.

I dunno who all what was to and how, but I am telling you I am being lied to by someone.

I don't care what you got, you're wrong.  We're not your *** slaves.

Don't even sit there and tell me I yelled.  You "yelled."

I don't want your crummy cyber***.  You wouldn't dare do it to someone else, and that makes me uncontrollably mad.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE

Do you have something to say for yourself?

YOU'RE A LIAR YOU ARE HURTING ME

Don't listen to my dad when

he doesn't know what he's doing!

ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE AND GET MAD AT ME

sent my parents an e-mail

and texts

hoping things were well this evening..

If Ellen thinks she can punish people who don't wanna be then she has a problem.  That's not socially acceptable.  Why?  No one does that to adults.  Only their own children.

Pray for my dad, he seemed upset about it even after the movie. I don't know what to do about that. I think he ruined my vision in how he drove. I just hope he had an okay time. I asked him about his movie and stuff.

Problems

I keep getting the idea of Ellen saying only me when I say something I'm looking up all tacky to her like I should care with a big lump of a stomach.. in a robe!  What you think I am, some n*****?

Well, I do have a story.  The story is I can do what I want without losing things in my life.  I'm trying to talk.  I didn't violate you!  I never started anything.  If I wanna take control of my environment, I can.  I could have gotten security on my side.  Don't you dare sass me back.  I couldn't keep it up cuz too many peope were s****ing at me.  Well, here I got you all back for the same thing "in one fair swoop."

Stop acting like I'm hysterical!

You did it.

They said someone else is being problematic, too.

My dad is being mean.

I stated down people at Disney, as well.  Not always the absolute best choice.

Some people were bothering me and I said to leave me alone.. too bad?  I wanted to mess with the police @ that.  They won't stop shuffling around me.  I was clearing my throat on the bus before.  Some people are making me look around.

You're the one who doesn't get no.  No, I'm not gonna sit here and be the only one in the most trouble.

So, basically this person unfortunately.. wants to just sit there and cross their eyes at you saying, "I know someone's got what I want and I'm the only one who wants it and now."  What ya'll thinkin'?  This an improvement to your nastiness??..

Why not just forget about lies like that, that only one person can be happy.. and make people happy?  It would make me happy.

Anything to Do?

Why should I be in trouble?  Lotta people curse for no reason.

Yes, I wanted you to be happy, but our conversation gets real for some reason.  I don't mind.  I feel people get more mad at me for the same thing others think.

About Getting Mad

Do you wanna be r****?  Would you get in trouble for cursing and being upset then?  So, being attacked emotionally doesn't happen?   I feel a bit affected.. esp. now.  If you keep affecting someone affected..  I mean how irritating were my feelings?  They were just me getting a signal to define my mood.

Specific Thing..

I thought I said something nice.  I tried to disclaim any other thoughts.

Okay, I saw someone try to irritate me about not being perfect.  They had a smug or bemused look.  They were basically trying to say something it seemed they'd claim not.  If they claim not, then what was their problem if they had one?

It was fine.  I just felt I was getting 2 different messages..

To Them That Listen to Talking About Their Actions and Deeds

You seem to have dug into my writing in the wrong way.  You wanna make sure you're on top of me.  Some of you are like spoiled brats in ways.  You are jealous of me.

What?

Apology.  I was thinking of a bad word and trying to think of other things instead.  I understand if you don't click with me, anymore.

I don't mean to be evil to anyone, neither, but something's going on somehow.

1st my dad threatens people who are nice to me, now Ellen.

Apology

I am so sorry for anything mean that came out, like bad words.

Sorry I had a fit and felt upset about something or seemingly someone.

I wonder how you look fighting with a nice and accomplished person like me all day.

My mom keeps doing mean things to make me look bad when I wanna get back.

Apology

Sorry for the bad words that came up while I was bothered.  I didn't mean them, but I have to mean something.

I tagged my last post Apologies.

OK so I was just worried about soaking in the Buddhist humming my mom left on in the room I was ironing in.  People have been at me for liking Middle Easterners etc.

I feel I am slowly whittling away from relationships.

So, how can I get those people for annoying me.  I mean the ones messing with me in my room with hacking my computer to make things load like talking and the noises from the little expensive speakers.

Sad

I don't know if it was really my mom I was mad at.  Who, then, you ask?  Can I keep myself from getting mad?  I hope my mom is okay.

More questions?  I'm just overly sensitive.  Or I know why it was really done.  Maybe, the person felt an honest compelling reason.  I know some people seem nastier than others altogether or in some ways..  Everyone says yes and no about if they are nice to me.

I know if I write something down doesn't mean someone can nor will fix it.

This could be a big experience for me.  I don't want it to be taken away.  They're just being foolish.  They keep being mean to me in private with these little talking noises they put in my room.  This is a punishment, on doubt about it, and that's not okay.  I didn't really do anything, neither.

Watch someone else get this experience when I get old and it won't be as bad cuz they're "all white."

Even the hint of calling them names does not satisfy.

The only thing that comes to my mind as a strategy is to knock 'em, but that's not what I mean and that's not gonna work.  This has gotta stop.  I'm not sitting here soaking this in.

You can't tell me what I could or could not say.

No one cares what I say that I am treated like a loser by people watching me in private!  And the nasty messages they relayed they said were from Ellen or whoever they wanna make up.

I'm awake, still tired, irritable.. but I'm sorry last night didn't go so smoothly.  I must admit lotta turmoil injected here, 'way I see things.  Calls for a degree of mental flubs.  What to do?

I am so sorry for my seeming temper.  I thought my way outta it.  What you do you deemed reasonable.  I don't mean to be mean.  I pray for the innocent people involved.  Do what you must.  If you must forget about me, even for a time, is what could be needed.  If you wanna set straight something with me is fine, as well.  I tried to shut up, but apparently that's not enough..

I feel so bad.  But I didn't do anything!

Oh no's!

Will you ever forgive me?  I thought something sad against someone cuz I felt threatened that someone had to hurt them.  A not really moment.

They were being super annoying in the bathroom..

Stop threatening to steal my relationships.

That guy wouldn't stop!  Why do you care what I say back but not what you do and about getting too close?

Do you need another explanation?

I was merely thinking for my dad to stop being mean to me, and he's all ratting me out and trying to annoy me and acting like he's white.

Quit telling me I did something wrong.

I wonder if people feel obliged to talk to me.  They can talk to others and have different relationships.

Do you know about lying that like you have issues just to get someone else to bring something outta me?  It must be a mutual consensus.

Who has the right to say I deserve nothing?  That means you're talking about what's earned.  I could chose to ignore this, but why has this overcome my life?  It could result on a real life fight or conflict.

Why is Ellen still popular?  Why do other people still have a chance?

Someone is acting possessively of me and just flat out mean, and no I don't approve of that from anyone, saying I'm in trouble.

I feel bothered by some people about attention you get.

I didn't have these annoying messages before watching Ellen.

Ah!

Bad words I did not want to come came for someone else.  I dunno I feel so humiliated to be insulted by them.

Now, what??  No, I did not call anyone the N word in my mind on purpose.  I think it should be legal, but I don't do it.

Look, about the experimenters too I feel really bad.  I dunno what's going on.  I feel bad for the others.  I told my mom about her being agitating.  It was serious.  I even thought that.  I could tell the danger was coming.  I am not happy.  I didn't think that.  I wanted not to have that come out.  Help!  You all are copying something my Gramma did, did something really bad so I'd talk back and look bad and you use that against me.

What They Did

They set me up to think of bad words and then talked about someone who we should respect..  I tried to fix it, but it already happened.  I don't know how it was on purpose, but it's not.  I got some nasty messages.  Look, I said leave me alone, and my mom was being mean, too.

I don't think you really wanna do this.  I'm ugly, anyway..

STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

Problems

I asked my mom why she was acting agitated cuz it brought bad words to mine.  No one better make fun of me or pick on me for it.  She just left and said she was waiting for the chicken to thaw to eat.  I think she is copying my dad.  I said, "What do you think I'm stupid?  I asked you a question."

I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!

Problem

They are being annoying to me in my spare time.  They are dancing around saying I received a negative message.

I hope you aren't thinking of that girl.

WHY ARE YOU BEING WASTEFUL OF MY SPARE TIME

YOU WANNA JOB?   WELL, GUESS WHAT?  I DON'T GOT ONE!

Look I don't care how the page loads.

These people keep talking to me via how the computer loads every time telling me insulting lies to submit to about who I am, how I think, and what happens to me or not.

People are trying to make me feel bad out of nowhere.  I don't live my life messing up.  I'm constantly being wronged.

LOL Apologize?

The N word came tom my mind on accident and mostly was directed away from someone.  That's up to you if you wanna joke me.

You can't sit on the sidelines and adjust my actions to perfection and hate on me in the moment not knowing that until I realize it later.

Also, you can't act condescending to me all the time and mad at little things.

I said I'm not here to be your slave.  For the sake of others I spoke out.  I dunno part of what they're doing.  A nice person is not someone who hurts you.

You look like a scared little bug.

What did I do wrong?  My thoughts did not break thru the cusp.  I didn't mean to talk about someone.  What's the next conflict so I can dish out the rules?

So, my Facebook is slow to post these quotes now.  It messes up.

I just wanna forget about some things for other reasons, but I think it's sad and bad.

There's someone on Facebook representing something against me who keeps posting to me.

It has come to my attention someone wants self-pity for what I said.  I am sorry, don't remember insulting you.  I don't mean to burst your bubble by saying you're bemused at me.  You do look down on me for the bad things people say about me.  I just noticed you all are participating in my punishment, which is sick.  I am just a servant to Ellen.  I mean it in the way that we all are.

I see you're just wasting my life.

Is Facebook down?

"You're the one with the problem.."

They are "making a big deal over nothing."

I ALREADY SAID YOU ARE ALWAYS BEING MEAN TO ME

The wrong things I said the other/s thought were cuza you.  Just clearing that up, too..

So, that was so you know you got what you want covered with me.

How pathetically cruel, you wanna k*** me for her?

The Future

I may talk about her, but I'm mostly onta you.

THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'm not worried about what I said.  Make some rules.  I'll tell you if I approve.

I'm really sorry but don't know what is flat out wrong with what I said.  I should have if I could thought sooner not to think of the other person.  I could feel it in me.  It finally came to my knowledge.  I just had to complain about my problem.  Something made me go coocoo, maybe the medicine.  I didn't settle down an d hink straight.  I wonder why.  Can you help with the problem?

So, why is this other person mean to me?  You told her to do it!

So, what's it to ya?  Superstitious about my right to be interested in things like Ellen and what they have to say?

I even said sorry.  Someone is being a "party pooper."

I see people are fooling around like they can mother me.  How pathetic.