I'm learning to deal with those of adversity.  I do not care but will speak out against them.  Against their ruining my days like they are involved.

Well, I'm very sorry for my mood and how I couldn't "solve my own problems."  I didn't mean anything bad, just was feeling assertive, if your designated spokesperson can possibly think that..  }:(  Yea, what is this, anyway?  I'm not listening to others.

You know, it's unimportant that I know who says what.

QUIT ACTING M*******.  I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS.

STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE SAYING

STOP THREATENING ME TO BE WITH SOMEONE

STOP IT!  They are threatening me again about things they shouldn't be talking about.  GET OUTTA HERE!

Well, I will say I feel a bit guilty enjoying the pleasures I do.  It was a simple mishap in saying leave me alone.  I feel so attacked for it, tho.  Leave that work to the police.

THEY KEEP ACTING LIKE THEY CAN BE MEAN TO ME FOR SAYING OH NO WHEN MY DAD CAME HOME AT 11 AND IT WAS JUST A JOKE

Sometimes, Blogger saves my posts, sometimes it doesn't.

My dad and I had a more distant relationship as I grew older and more independent.  I am touchy around him.  He has a problem and thinks he can manipulate my life and affect me.

Did you see how much my dad harassed me after I told the people to leave me alone?  I did walk away quickly.

So, why do you get to make the rules?

So, saying leave me alone is bad?

Trying to ask my dad what the problem is is bad?

I guess it is all worthless, but I didn't know at the time..

I can't remember what I thought with these people looking at me.  I only process things on a surface level.  What is this, my dad's decision??

Help!  These chickens are ruining my life!  I have no way out.

You chickens act like others are better than me.  I'm left with these people messing with me.

So, I'm sitting here putting up with these people while someone else is lounging around looking at herself in the mirror, just saying!

This should never happen.  For someone talking around in a low voice you sure are administering a blast of spraying s***!  I mean come on, I didn't lose my temper, I just won't take poor t**** in Central Florida.  My dad hurt someone and I was afraid they were really hurt, in which case only certain things matter.

IMDb - The Soapbox

I Must Admit: Mad Morning

I don't know if you can help clean up my act, but people are holding a grudge against me. I feel that nothing has really happened. I told some people to leave me alone but in a low voice. Strangers.

I was questioning my dad around saying he was mean because he'd be mad if I did. He is always so onto me, and I don't want this relationship back.

I am starting ballet Monday, but he's at work then anyway.

I SAID STOP

They said I won't meet someone.

My post wasn't showing it was saved this time.  QUIT IT.  You're k***ing me.  I am trying to have a good day.

Are you gonna stare me down for deciding not to do something I believe in?  If people are mean they need to be put in their place but legally.  You say stop it, not scruff you feet along the floor like they all did.  Yes, I don't have the energy to attack every s** o* a b****.  Maybe, I don't wanna attack anyone, but I did say to leave me alone without shouting.

Problem

My aunt just threatened me.  About if I have kids.

They think they are "taking New Orleans from me."

They said they gave a brat things I earned or needed or had.  Who, I dunno.  I know the nature of the s*** in my life.

Why is everyone being mean to me?  They are acting like I can't get attention.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

My dad/parents is immature.

IMDb - The Soapbox

I need to stop staring people down. I did that at Disney. So what if I said to leave me alone? Just decide it won't do and be mean to me after.

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Report this suspicious message   Ignore, I trust this message

My dad acted like I could never go up north to see relatives again cuz I changed my mind like 2 or 3 times when he went anyway.

My dad acts inwardly interested and I don't feel I have a dad nor mom thanks to Ellen and her antsiness about me being in trouble, like she's good.

I got a symbolic insulting message from my dad or mom.

They're being mea talking to me just because I talked about something they did specific.

You don't have the right to be mad.

YOU LOT ARE JUST RACIST - I AM JUST ANOTHER PERSON.  LEAVE ME ALONE.

They've already started threatening me.  JUST BE QUIET.  YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO SAY.  YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS TO ANYONE ELSE.

What about all those people who bothered me?  They acted like I was no good in weird ways, like popping it.  I'm not up for another lesson of Jesus.  I bet on one did that to Jesus.  I just looked at them sternly and told 2 to leave me alone.  What's it to you??  Remember when little kids used to be a bother in public, acting like they were more special with Late Boomer parents?  That was around 2006.  Why can't you just get over yourself and stop being immature placing yourself in my life?  Stop glossing over my words like they're nothing and you got something bad to say to me.  They made the page keep loading, too, with the circling symbol.  They made something happen on my computer at the bottom and this page save at weird times.  When I talk about stuff, they just do more then.

How did I bother you?

See, they don't listen.  They have a system.  They do something else.

I haven't "lost control."  You had.  Who?  I don't wanna name so I don't get them in trouble or something.. and it could be someone else.. like the experimenters.  What?  Cruel lies.  Something upset me.  I just wanted to say I'm being lied to..

And I'm not yer slave, I'm not listening, the way you take my writing as Chinese chicken scratch.

You tell me something I don't like, I can tell you "something" you don't like.

I dunno who all what was to and how, but I am telling you I am being lied to by someone.

I don't care what you got, you're wrong.  We're not your *** slaves.

Don't even sit there and tell me I yelled.  You "yelled."

I don't want your crummy cyber***.  You wouldn't dare do it to someone else, and that makes me uncontrollably mad.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE

Do you have something to say for yourself?

YOU'RE A LIAR YOU ARE HURTING ME

Don't listen to my dad when

he doesn't know what he's doing!

ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE AND GET MAD AT ME

sent my parents an e-mail

and texts

hoping things were well this evening..

If Ellen thinks she can punish people who don't wanna be then she has a problem.  That's not socially acceptable.  Why?  No one does that to adults.  Only their own children.

Pray for my dad, he seemed upset about it even after the movie. I don't know what to do about that. I think he ruined my vision in how he drove. I just hope he had an okay time. I asked him about his movie and stuff.

Problems

I keep getting the idea of Ellen saying only me when I say something I'm looking up all tacky to her like I should care with a big lump of a stomach.. in a robe!  What you think I am, some n*****?

Well, I do have a story.  The story is I can do what I want without losing things in my life.  I'm trying to talk.  I didn't violate you!  I never started anything.  If I wanna take control of my environment, I can.  I could have gotten security on my side.  Don't you dare sass me back.  I couldn't keep it up cuz too many peope were s****ing at me.  Well, here I got you all back for the same thing "in one fair swoop."

Stop acting like I'm hysterical!

You did it.

They said someone else is being problematic, too.

My dad is being mean.

I stated down people at Disney, as well.  Not always the absolute best choice.

Some people were bothering me and I said to leave me alone.. too bad?  I wanted to mess with the police @ that.  They won't stop shuffling around me.  I was clearing my throat on the bus before.  Some people are making me look around.

You're the one who doesn't get no.  No, I'm not gonna sit here and be the only one in the most trouble.

So, basically this person unfortunately.. wants to just sit there and cross their eyes at you saying, "I know someone's got what I want and I'm the only one who wants it and now."  What ya'll thinkin'?  This an improvement to your nastiness??..

Why not just forget about lies like that, that only one person can be happy.. and make people happy?  It would make me happy.

Anything to Do?

Why should I be in trouble?  Lotta people curse for no reason.

Yes, I wanted you to be happy, but our conversation gets real for some reason.  I don't mind.  I feel people get more mad at me for the same thing others think.

About Getting Mad

Do you wanna be r****?  Would you get in trouble for cursing and being upset then?  So, being attacked emotionally doesn't happen?   I feel a bit affected.. esp. now.  If you keep affecting someone affected..  I mean how irritating were my feelings?  They were just me getting a signal to define my mood.

Specific Thing..

I thought I said something nice.  I tried to disclaim any other thoughts.

Okay, I saw someone try to irritate me about not being perfect.  They had a smug or bemused look.  They were basically trying to say something it seemed they'd claim not.  If they claim not, then what was their problem if they had one?

It was fine.  I just felt I was getting 2 different messages..

To Them That Listen to Talking About Their Actions and Deeds

You seem to have dug into my writing in the wrong way.  You wanna make sure you're on top of me.  Some of you are like spoiled brats in ways.  You are jealous of me.

What?

Apology.  I was thinking of a bad word and trying to think of other things instead.  I understand if you don't click with me, anymore.

I don't mean to be evil to anyone, neither, but something's going on somehow.

1st my dad threatens people who are nice to me, now Ellen.

Apology

I am so sorry for anything mean that came out, like bad words.

Sorry I had a fit and felt upset about something or seemingly someone.

I wonder how you look fighting with a nice and accomplished person like me all day.

My mom keeps doing mean things to make me look bad when I wanna get back.

Apology

Sorry for the bad words that came up while I was bothered.  I didn't mean them, but I have to mean something.

I tagged my last post Apologies.

OK so I was just worried about soaking in the Buddhist humming my mom left on in the room I was ironing in.  People have been at me for liking Middle Easterners etc.

I feel I am slowly whittling away from relationships.

So, how can I get those people for annoying me.  I mean the ones messing with me in my room with hacking my computer to make things load like talking and the noises from the little expensive speakers.

Sad

I don't know if it was really my mom I was mad at.  Who, then, you ask?  Can I keep myself from getting mad?  I hope my mom is okay.

More questions?  I'm just overly sensitive.  Or I know why it was really done.  Maybe, the person felt an honest compelling reason.  I know some people seem nastier than others altogether or in some ways..  Everyone says yes and no about if they are nice to me.

I know if I write something down doesn't mean someone can nor will fix it.

This could be a big experience for me.  I don't want it to be taken away.  They're just being foolish.  They keep being mean to me in private with these little talking noises they put in my room.  This is a punishment, on doubt about it, and that's not okay.  I didn't really do anything, neither.

Watch someone else get this experience when I get old and it won't be as bad cuz they're "all white."

Even the hint of calling them names does not satisfy.

The only thing that comes to my mind as a strategy is to knock 'em, but that's not what I mean and that's not gonna work.  This has gotta stop.  I'm not sitting here soaking this in.

You can't tell me what I could or could not say.

No one cares what I say that I am treated like a loser by people watching me in private!  And the nasty messages they relayed they said were from Ellen or whoever they wanna make up.

I'm awake, still tired, irritable.. but I'm sorry last night didn't go so smoothly.  I must admit lotta turmoil injected here, 'way I see things.  Calls for a degree of mental flubs.  What to do?

I am so sorry for my seeming temper.  I thought my way outta it.  What you do you deemed reasonable.  I don't mean to be mean.  I pray for the innocent people involved.  Do what you must.  If you must forget about me, even for a time, is what could be needed.  If you wanna set straight something with me is fine, as well.  I tried to shut up, but apparently that's not enough..

I feel so bad.  But I didn't do anything!

Oh no's!

Will you ever forgive me?  I thought something sad against someone cuz I felt threatened that someone had to hurt them.  A not really moment.

They were being super annoying in the bathroom..

Stop threatening to steal my relationships.

That guy wouldn't stop!  Why do you care what I say back but not what you do and about getting too close?

Do you need another explanation?

I was merely thinking for my dad to stop being mean to me, and he's all ratting me out and trying to annoy me and acting like he's white.

Quit telling me I did something wrong.

I wonder if people feel obliged to talk to me.  They can talk to others and have different relationships.

Do you know about lying that like you have issues just to get someone else to bring something outta me?  It must be a mutual consensus.

Who has the right to say I deserve nothing?  That means you're talking about what's earned.  I could chose to ignore this, but why has this overcome my life?  It could result on a real life fight or conflict.

Why is Ellen still popular?  Why do other people still have a chance?

Someone is acting possessively of me and just flat out mean, and no I don't approve of that from anyone, saying I'm in trouble.

I feel bothered by some people about attention you get.

I didn't have these annoying messages before watching Ellen.