Anything to Do?

Why should I be in trouble?  Lotta people curse for no reason.

Yes, I wanted you to be happy, but our conversation gets real for some reason.  I don't mind.  I feel people get more mad at me for the same thing others think.

About Getting Mad

Do you wanna be r****?  Would you get in trouble for cursing and being upset then?  So, being attacked emotionally doesn't happen?   I feel a bit affected.. esp. now.  If you keep affecting someone affected..  I mean how irritating were my feelings?  They were just me getting a signal to define my mood.

Specific Thing..

I thought I said something nice.  I tried to disclaim any other thoughts.

Okay, I saw someone try to irritate me about not being perfect.  They had a smug or bemused look.  They were basically trying to say something it seemed they'd claim not.  If they claim not, then what was their problem if they had one?

It was fine.  I just felt I was getting 2 different messages..

To Them That Listen to Talking About Their Actions and Deeds

You seem to have dug into my writing in the wrong way.  You wanna make sure you're on top of me.  Some of you are like spoiled brats in ways.  You are jealous of me.

What?

Apology.  I was thinking of a bad word and trying to think of other things instead.  I understand if you don't click with me, anymore.

I don't mean to be evil to anyone, neither, but something's going on somehow.

1st my dad threatens people who are nice to me, now Ellen.

Apology

I am so sorry for anything mean that came out, like bad words.

Sorry I had a fit and felt upset about something or seemingly someone.

I wonder how you look fighting with a nice and accomplished person like me all day.

My mom keeps doing mean things to make me look bad when I wanna get back.

Apology

Sorry for the bad words that came up while I was bothered.  I didn't mean them, but I have to mean something.

I tagged my last post Apologies.

OK so I was just worried about soaking in the Buddhist humming my mom left on in the room I was ironing in.  People have been at me for liking Middle Easterners etc.

I feel I am slowly whittling away from relationships.

So, how can I get those people for annoying me.  I mean the ones messing with me in my room with hacking my computer to make things load like talking and the noises from the little expensive speakers.

Sad

I don't know if it was really my mom I was mad at.  Who, then, you ask?  Can I keep myself from getting mad?  I hope my mom is okay.

More questions?  I'm just overly sensitive.  Or I know why it was really done.  Maybe, the person felt an honest compelling reason.  I know some people seem nastier than others altogether or in some ways..  Everyone says yes and no about if they are nice to me.

I know if I write something down doesn't mean someone can nor will fix it.

This could be a big experience for me.  I don't want it to be taken away.  They're just being foolish.  They keep being mean to me in private with these little talking noises they put in my room.  This is a punishment, on doubt about it, and that's not okay.  I didn't really do anything, neither.

Watch someone else get this experience when I get old and it won't be as bad cuz they're "all white."