I don't believe I deserve to be punished.  I am too old.  I don't want this sneaky treatment.  I'm gonna tell my therapist.  Also, I didn't do anything wrong altogether.  Anyway, you did.

I don't want your fighting.  This other person and people it's obvious are s***ing up for the wrong reasons.

Well, I figured one thing out.  I don't like people playing around with me especially in the wrong way.

I did get mad on teh inside and had a cutting thought, you know the cutoff.  I just really don't wanna be blasted at about this oh so conveniently, literally messing into my life for something they did you think I could not match and do, like I'm not even allowed to deny this.  You all are too judgmental.  It's not perfectionism.

Apology

Something made me upset and I do not accept it.

I will not accept this treatment of anything of that nature.

I don't want to find my dad at the dead end thinking he can force people to be mean to me cuz I'd call the police.

Weird

Blame someone else in confusion.  I calmed down in a way in and of itself.

How can I not be mad, anymore?  I try to keep to myself..  They kept "talking" in secret but mean in reality it feels in secret.

What's too late for me?

You blame me for being mad at me, but I'm not being bad.  You just bring up some insignificant thing from the past.  Think of all the really bad people and good people who mess up.

So, I can't make you happy if my being good makes you still mad at me.

I should be thankful people care for me and I have these nice pills..

I feel so broken up.

Like everyone is mad at me for mistakes and feeling bad.

I just remembered I "flipped my lid" when I was made fun of for liking something and even thought worthless things of someone in my family, my mom.  :(  They kept inflicting things like d**** on me.  Not exactly, but it went by so speedily.

Oh no!

In the process of "getting out my anger" I didn't mean to hurt any one!  And hopefully not anyone.

Twitter

Tonight's the finale of my Design Challenge on HGTV. You're not gonna believe what happens at the end. I promise it’s not what you think.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 2, 2015

See, doesn't this seem laced with insults?  She keeps doing that.

She said "not" to be annoying twice.

So, yes, then people are nice to bad people.  I don't think they didn't pass some test you did about being warm and fuzzy to some people.

as in chicken, like nervous

Peaceful?  Yer chickens.

Get it?  It's not!

NO IT'S NOT

You fight me!

What's so impressive about violence?

I don't wanna be close to my dad.  I felt affected.  They said he gets to "play with my babies" because I thought of the k word.

So, where I went wrong was..

(1) the word k*** came back to me cuz it was just said and for my dad giving me a feeling I do not ever like from him
(2) I was upset with someone because of a stupid supper

My dad is letting in irritation thru the cracks.  I don't wanna be in troble for his crass.

Okay everyone, this person keeps bothering my mom.

I am upset about my mom.

No one said they were originally mad at you.

No one has the right to get at me.  Are you just..

YOU be happy

Why don't you squeak in another area?

I already could die cuza you..

I haven't felt like doing the dishes, recently.

My parents have been agitated recently.  I don't want my mom to die because of you.

It seems pretty obvious to me, 2 people.

Who is safe to say makes problems?

If you act like that, you're at risk.  Life is unfair to others moreover.

I know what happened.  I was just in the kitchen and my dad was acting meanly, now triumphant the word k*** came to mind and they thought "Gramma wouldn't like it."  Well, they just thought of the word with me, the other parent.

WHY WERE YOU SO MEAN TO ME AT SUPPER

I am so mad I could rip something apart.

I'm tired of your selfish lying and schizophrenia.

WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME

Do you wanna sit here all day with people telling you you can't have this you can't have that just to be bemusing and with no fact connected that you can juggle and no way of totally just ignoring?

All I found is it's a bother for other people who say this.

Just ignore him and I'd have less problems.  I don't believe I've been treated with respect as a poster online.

Admit it.

My dad is a problem, even when I am over 18.

You shouldn't be having all the cool people look ugly to me in glasses and beards and mustaches.  That is very selfish.

What did I do wrong?  No answer.  I will not be subject to my family all of a sudden in this world, like it's the new popular thing.  You all don't have to pick up on bad things from your parents and as a family like this.  I am independent.  I have a strong dislike for getting close to my family in a lotta ways you don't see to respect.  I will not be rounded up as a Barrett in "the Barrett family.."

Yes, I realize some people are monitored to be safe.

Nice Girl..

Anna Kendrick.  I wonder what goes on in her thoughts sometimes.  Like at the Academy Awards..

Unsolved Being Upset

So Sorry.  Maybe, I was hurt, but that's always the excuse.  I'll wait for the next blast from the past.  :(

Kids today don't deserve to be able to treat me like this.  How am I guilty?  Little things and weird things don't fully count.

So, I'm letting out my anger without foul language and without relying on acting annoyingly in real life.  I'm trying to avoid sounding mad at certain people or anyone if possible.

I was happy, but people come in mean.  I shouldn't have to put up with this.  You're treating me like an abuser.

I know people are mean to me to make others comfortable, but that shouldn't be for me.

Why does my dad hip hop in fibbing about his nature with some close, negative message for me?

The Circle of Apology

I partially just realized someone might be doing this I don't wanna fight, but I am not sure and know it's bad or just a coping mechanism.  It seems like I got hurt me in the process.

They always have some problem for me to wake up to.  I will not take this!!

They're setting me off to think the sound is shredding at my body like I'm American.

They're playing Buddhist humming or something I think but cuza being Chinese and I don't like it.  It's my mom's, but I know why they really did it now.

Tired

Is anything wrong?

Some people have lost my trust, who I don't know.  I'm getting insulting messages to block constantly now from these people, the way things on my computer load sends messages.

 My map keeps blacking out.

How do you want me to deal with this or not deal with this?  You are wrong.

I know you're still there doing that.

This person keeps messing with me and threatening me within the experiment.  Playing around, something like a threat.  Just to punish me for cursing at being mean to me.  If you can't stand cursing, you should forget about it or tell me.

Instagram - phantomontour

phantomontourCan anyone guess who played the Phantom this afternoon?! (Hint: it's somewhere in the picture!) #allansnyder #phantomontour #phantomoftheopera

yellowbumblebee74Christopher Mann

mrspandolfoErik Ruiz?

irishmusicfan1Allan Snyder did the afternoon show! He was AMAZING!!

quintoottIt was Allan Snyder and he was SPECTACULAR! Check him out!

christinaannbarrettI think Jackie Evancho went today. I saw Chris Mann 3 times. 2 different Christines.

They think they can treat me like an animal for someone.

Problem

I liked someone from Australia and I have 2 friends on Facebook I've talked to more than usual unusually from there who are not like that.

and I don't wanna be mad at you

See, I already figured I was not mad at that girl.

Well

I found out the mystery that if you assert yourself to a certain person they will do something adverse to fill in the gap.

I don't want that in my life.  Someone told my mom to get  upset with my dad in dire straights of lies.. oh well?  We'll see how anyone feels about that.  Shouldn't it be for my mom to decide?

You can't sit there and affect my life and punish me and hurt my relationships.  We don't care about that stuff, no one does!  I'll post my feelings here rather than explode in life.  I'll try to forget important things like this.  I don't wanna be forced to post about stuff just to post about it and don't plan on it.

You might think that was right.  Maybe, it was.  It didn't seem like the best idea.  You probably just brush off that people are s***.  Are you Hitler of the Apes?

I'm sorry if this offended anyone and if it reached and hurt anyone innocent.  Let's leave it at that.  I had a thought cycle, as I always do.  I didn't violate you.

You want to take me back?

I am so sorry I was mad.  I could not think straight.  You think so?  I'm getting better, but I is who I is.

I wonder if aliens are watching me..

Apology

My relationships may be imperfect, but it seems they claim I always have something to lose.

You've already distanced yourselves from me.  You've turned innocent people against me to do foolish things.  People who live in LA are contradictory.  You shouldn't just not listen to me thinking you're actually there for me.  Not listen to me as in thinking you're not too chicken about my dad when you are and that's why there's no reason to listen to anyone like that.. and btw you've gone and done other things than claim it's my dad in your way to being nice to me.  Why does that sound so tacky?  This is about people in general.  You think you don't listen to me but are there for me but have to give me a heart attack daily for asserting my feelings on a blog.

Why is my dad going all pleasured getting me in trouble when I didn't do anything?  He won't stop keeping a grudge on me, like I'm a murderer of someone important to him.

Apology

If I offended anyone with what I said behind their backs but I didn't mean anything to them like to their face.  I was just sad..  I really am not an all the time sarcastic person...

Why I Came Out

I realized I could not go around grunting at myself and wanted to fix these problems.

I don't know what it means other than I say no if I don't know who said what in what way.  I can forgive some people, but my life is really lame.

I think I need to address this.  If a certain person who is adament I don't ever get mad at them, neither, I mean I live with what the other person says, too.  I don't need a circle of punishments orchestrated by my dad's hormones.  He claims it's not him.  WHO IS IT?

STOP IT

THEY SAID I DESERVE THE PUNISHMENT, THE WEIRD MESSAGES GOING ALONG WITH THE ACTION

Can't you even figure out if someone done it?

LOOK I DUNNO WHO YOU ARE BUT I DON'T NEED PUNISHMENT

I see my dad self-satisfied.  Don't you dare treat me like he does.

How dare I? How dare anyone to me.

I think it was a general decision and some people might not like it.  Then, let's just say I feel really bad.  I don't want your help, tho..

What is this all for Johnny Depp and this girl?

Problem

I don't want something big to happen cuza your problems with me this morning.  I believe you made one.

I see someone is afraid of me getting too much.  My old relaxed approval is not one thing you've brought into my life.  I am not a problem, either way.

I am not gonna put up with all this nonsense from various sources.  I come out and try to be nice, and my dad is always at me.  My mom follows along like she has to in triumph.  My parents don't even act like my parents, anymore.  If something bothers me, you just do it again.

I'm just talking, as opposed to being silent and brooding.  Notice I'm not flat out getting mad?  I would if I was.

Problem

They are loading pictures on the makeover hypnotically.

I see people playing around doing disgusting things with their bodies like wearing glasses all for this mean person for no resaon and flashing it in my face.

Upset

My dad was more talkative when I was more upset.

I don't wanna be got at for new stuff, too.

I thought of how people created the idea that this person is over me, and my parents were all smug about it, so I thought why not h*** the person who done it.. but that's like h***ing me, not injuring.  That's not what I even meant.  I do not accept this bullying, tho.  I do not accept that I used to be respected but now am not!

Look, I warned my parents to stop the secret messages.

This person is messed up and doesn't do anyone any good.  I don't see the result.

Maybe, they've said what they've needed and wanted to say.  They don't answer questions.

Quit treating me like you own me.

I'm not fascinated by your clues.

My dad wasn't even supposed to be a part of my life.  I don't even see my parents and they just want me on meds and are mean.

Upset

My dad is just trying to be mean to me and making pizza rather than letting me eat something else.  He's making it from taco shells.

Look, why are you even talking to me?  Is it all for a certain person?

I'm not dealing with inconveniences in my life for them, like putting someone before me and when I talk about it you all get creepy and mad at me all the time in private.

I pretty much got this.

You old fogies are simple-minded dwellers and think you spotted out sin in me.

This person is using me to say that something in their life is irritatingly imperfect.  I've been nice, but they just want the attention I got and not me.

I think a lotta people are important.  I take a stand against most people.  I mean, wasn't my life about me before?  Huh?  Maybe, my relationships are traitors.  I can find people under the radar who might be interesting.

Interestingly, this other person also wants everything to be about them.  I just don't want it to be like "Oh, okay, I don't deserve to be treated like I'm worth anything at all every time someone doesn't like what I do."  What's sad is it's coming into play in other opportunities for little things.  This person is not a part of me anymore than they are a part of just anyone else.  I don't mind at all if other people get attention and stuff.  I just get insulting messages concerning them.  Insulting to me, like I think maybe I deserve to be treated with respect and then I don't get it and they are used as a tool for that, like I was a really good person before and everyone just got all jealous and tore it down.

Seriously, these people won't stop bothering me, loading the page on the computer so it gives an insulting secret message emotionally.  Yes, they are putting someone before me and it's for a reason that doesn't exist but makes me feel guilty every day.  Who else does this?

No, I don't see why this person should be hurting me.  I know I was mad and cursed, but it wasn't usually directed at anyone originally.  Plus, a lotta people seem to have done that.  I was the one being wronged.

Glitch

Sometimes when I look something up or something, the waiting symbol won't go away even if I click X.

So, you're just sitting there making all the things I enjoy in life for someone else and pretending to be upset about it each time.