I awoke to some sensitive communications "that I can't have" basically a relationship with someone cuz of something I did.. when they slyly put something into my life I merely typed a lot about what bothered me in relation to the nature and disposition sorta of the message. So what? I said I liked the message, tho. I had a lotta typing, tho. Why does this recurringly pop up? It's my dad, and my mom follows suit. I already tried to take back my parents's marriage, but they don't care that they had problems raising my brother. Why should I listen to someone deciding something for me or someone else like this? And my brother's gone, getting his Masters this year and has an apartment. Me, I have nothing, just my mean parents who I moved here to live with cuz I liked them better than the stuck up, sloppy kids left in the college dorms I was at. The people outside are making annoying, disturbing noises, too. Like, the cars go by and make a certain presentation of dragging you into their worthless banter.
I guess all you can say is I don't have to listen to my dad, but this is a shadow hanging over me. I will not listen to these things to do with my dad. Why is he in my life, now? I mean with these kinds of things. Or anything at all?
The other thing is did someone else purposely make the same decision as my dad? If so, what can I do to change that? It seems it's ruined for no reason, already. Why does it matter what I did? They have no rules of behavior. Is there a problem, anyway? I feel like being good doesn't mean anything to them and it brings me pain to do it for them. I do like to be good anyway, tho, so I suppose that is how that works out.
But yea, anyway, my dad is so into saying I don't deserve this relationship. I don't like it, he probably would even spurt out it doesn't matter.
About their marriage, I mean a split would be healthy. I'm worried to leave them alone, sorta. Just the nature of it. We were gonna have a nice life, where my mom was with my brother and my dad gets to move and get a job and me in college..