Strange Ideas

in my head, I had to say no I don't want such and such, it is so freaky, maybe I need to be punished but not brutalized

Oh and you can forget about my spamming nature and I will try to spruce things up cuz I wanna keep it coming for others.  *blush*

E-mailed my parents about having a good weekend.

Look I'm not here to accumulate your s***/insults.  To discuss them in person.

They are lying again about something getting attention.

They made a funny page keep loading and acting like it's a tossup on what it means.

I feel like creating a problem, like I am.  I am not sure what to do with myself.  I just go thru my life and have to pay extra homage for things I am told I ge that I don't deserve.

My Yeling Like Here

I wasn't directing it at anyone directly.  I guess it was just some issue, hopefully no one had a handle on or whatever.  Like, someone mighta done it, but who knows.  I guess I was nastier today at no one in particular.  I hope I can brush it away and go on with finishing my life successfully, as in having a healthy life until my old age.  It's not really okay.  I need to be in check with myself.

I'm learning to deal with those of adversity.  I do not care but will speak out against them.  Against their ruining my days like they are involved.

Well, I'm very sorry for my mood and how I couldn't "solve my own problems."  I didn't mean anything bad, just was feeling assertive, if your designated spokesperson can possibly think that..  }:(  Yea, what is this, anyway?  I'm not listening to others.

You know, it's unimportant that I know who says what.

QUIT ACTING M*******.  I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS.

STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE SAYING

STOP THREATENING ME TO BE WITH SOMEONE

STOP IT!  They are threatening me again about things they shouldn't be talking about.  GET OUTTA HERE!

Well, I will say I feel a bit guilty enjoying the pleasures I do.  It was a simple mishap in saying leave me alone.  I feel so attacked for it, tho.  Leave that work to the police.

THEY KEEP ACTING LIKE THEY CAN BE MEAN TO ME FOR SAYING OH NO WHEN MY DAD CAME HOME AT 11 AND IT WAS JUST A JOKE

Sometimes, Blogger saves my posts, sometimes it doesn't.

My dad and I had a more distant relationship as I grew older and more independent.  I am touchy around him.  He has a problem and thinks he can manipulate my life and affect me.

Did you see how much my dad harassed me after I told the people to leave me alone?  I did walk away quickly.

So, why do you get to make the rules?

So, saying leave me alone is bad?

Trying to ask my dad what the problem is is bad?

I guess it is all worthless, but I didn't know at the time..

I can't remember what I thought with these people looking at me.  I only process things on a surface level.  What is this, my dad's decision??

Help!  These chickens are ruining my life!  I have no way out.

You chickens act like others are better than me.  I'm left with these people messing with me.

So, I'm sitting here putting up with these people while someone else is lounging around looking at herself in the mirror, just saying!

This should never happen.  For someone talking around in a low voice you sure are administering a blast of spraying s***!  I mean come on, I didn't lose my temper, I just won't take poor t**** in Central Florida.  My dad hurt someone and I was afraid they were really hurt, in which case only certain things matter.

IMDb - The Soapbox

I Must Admit: Mad Morning

I don't know if you can help clean up my act, but people are holding a grudge against me. I feel that nothing has really happened. I told some people to leave me alone but in a low voice. Strangers.

I was questioning my dad around saying he was mean because he'd be mad if I did. He is always so onto me, and I don't want this relationship back.

I am starting ballet Monday, but he's at work then anyway.

I SAID STOP

They said I won't meet someone.

My post wasn't showing it was saved this time.  QUIT IT.  You're k***ing me.  I am trying to have a good day.

Are you gonna stare me down for deciding not to do something I believe in?  If people are mean they need to be put in their place but legally.  You say stop it, not scruff you feet along the floor like they all did.  Yes, I don't have the energy to attack every s** o* a b****.  Maybe, I don't wanna attack anyone, but I did say to leave me alone without shouting.

Problem

My aunt just threatened me.  About if I have kids.

They think they are "taking New Orleans from me."

They said they gave a brat things I earned or needed or had.  Who, I dunno.  I know the nature of the s*** in my life.

Why is everyone being mean to me?  They are acting like I can't get attention.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

My dad/parents is immature.

IMDb - The Soapbox

I need to stop staring people down. I did that at Disney. So what if I said to leave me alone? Just decide it won't do and be mean to me after.

Bad Message Marked as Stealing Info.

Dear Friend,

I am (Mr. Leung Wing Lok) from Hong Kong, I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to transact with you for the mutual benefit of our both families. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $19,500,000.00USD away from my Bank to a private Bank I will advise you to open. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret or delete it from your mail box, if you are not interested. Also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum, if you agree to transact the business with me while 70% will be for me. I will give you full information details as regards this transaction as soon as you notify me of your interest.

Please Email me on my private email: mrwinglok@outlook.com

Regards.

Mr. Leung Wing Lok

Be careful with this message. It contains content that's typically used to steal personal information. Learn more
Report this suspicious message   Ignore, I trust this message

My dad acted like I could never go up north to see relatives again cuz I changed my mind like 2 or 3 times when he went anyway.

My dad acts inwardly interested and I don't feel I have a dad nor mom thanks to Ellen and her antsiness about me being in trouble, like she's good.

I got a symbolic insulting message from my dad or mom.

They're being mea talking to me just because I talked about something they did specific.

You don't have the right to be mad.

YOU LOT ARE JUST RACIST - I AM JUST ANOTHER PERSON.  LEAVE ME ALONE.

They've already started threatening me.  JUST BE QUIET.  YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO SAY.  YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS TO ANYONE ELSE.

What about all those people who bothered me?  They acted like I was no good in weird ways, like popping it.  I'm not up for another lesson of Jesus.  I bet on one did that to Jesus.  I just looked at them sternly and told 2 to leave me alone.  What's it to you??  Remember when little kids used to be a bother in public, acting like they were more special with Late Boomer parents?  That was around 2006.  Why can't you just get over yourself and stop being immature placing yourself in my life?  Stop glossing over my words like they're nothing and you got something bad to say to me.  They made the page keep loading, too, with the circling symbol.  They made something happen on my computer at the bottom and this page save at weird times.  When I talk about stuff, they just do more then.

How did I bother you?

See, they don't listen.  They have a system.  They do something else.

I haven't "lost control."  You had.  Who?  I don't wanna name so I don't get them in trouble or something.. and it could be someone else.. like the experimenters.  What?  Cruel lies.  Something upset me.  I just wanted to say I'm being lied to..

And I'm not yer slave, I'm not listening, the way you take my writing as Chinese chicken scratch.

You tell me something I don't like, I can tell you "something" you don't like.

I dunno who all what was to and how, but I am telling you I am being lied to by someone.

I don't care what you got, you're wrong.  We're not your *** slaves.

Don't even sit there and tell me I yelled.  You "yelled."

I don't want your crummy cyber***.  You wouldn't dare do it to someone else, and that makes me uncontrollably mad.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE

Do you have something to say for yourself?

YOU'RE A LIAR YOU ARE HURTING ME

Don't listen to my dad when

he doesn't know what he's doing!

ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE AND GET MAD AT ME

sent my parents an e-mail

and texts

hoping things were well this evening..

If Ellen thinks she can punish people who don't wanna be then she has a problem.  That's not socially acceptable.  Why?  No one does that to adults.  Only their own children.

Pray for my dad, he seemed upset about it even after the movie. I don't know what to do about that. I think he ruined my vision in how he drove. I just hope he had an okay time. I asked him about his movie and stuff.

Problems

I keep getting the idea of Ellen saying only me when I say something I'm looking up all tacky to her like I should care with a big lump of a stomach.. in a robe!  What you think I am, some n*****?

Well, I do have a story.  The story is I can do what I want without losing things in my life.  I'm trying to talk.  I didn't violate you!  I never started anything.  If I wanna take control of my environment, I can.  I could have gotten security on my side.  Don't you dare sass me back.  I couldn't keep it up cuz too many peope were s****ing at me.  Well, here I got you all back for the same thing "in one fair swoop."

Stop acting like I'm hysterical!

You did it.

They said someone else is being problematic, too.

My dad is being mean.

I stated down people at Disney, as well.  Not always the absolute best choice.

Some people were bothering me and I said to leave me alone.. too bad?  I wanted to mess with the police @ that.  They won't stop shuffling around me.  I was clearing my throat on the bus before.  Some people are making me look around.

You're the one who doesn't get no.  No, I'm not gonna sit here and be the only one in the most trouble.

So, basically this person unfortunately.. wants to just sit there and cross their eyes at you saying, "I know someone's got what I want and I'm the only one who wants it and now."  What ya'll thinkin'?  This an improvement to your nastiness??..

Why not just forget about lies like that, that only one person can be happy.. and make people happy?  It would make me happy.

Anything to Do?

Why should I be in trouble?  Lotta people curse for no reason.

Yes, I wanted you to be happy, but our conversation gets real for some reason.  I don't mind.  I feel people get more mad at me for the same thing others think.

About Getting Mad

Do you wanna be r****?  Would you get in trouble for cursing and being upset then?  So, being attacked emotionally doesn't happen?   I feel a bit affected.. esp. now.  If you keep affecting someone affected..  I mean how irritating were my feelings?  They were just me getting a signal to define my mood.

Specific Thing..

I thought I said something nice.  I tried to disclaim any other thoughts.

Okay, I saw someone try to irritate me about not being perfect.  They had a smug or bemused look.  They were basically trying to say something it seemed they'd claim not.  If they claim not, then what was their problem if they had one?

It was fine.  I just felt I was getting 2 different messages..

To Them That Listen to Talking About Their Actions and Deeds

You seem to have dug into my writing in the wrong way.  You wanna make sure you're on top of me.  Some of you are like spoiled brats in ways.  You are jealous of me.

What?

Apology.  I was thinking of a bad word and trying to think of other things instead.  I understand if you don't click with me, anymore.

I don't mean to be evil to anyone, neither, but something's going on somehow.

1st my dad threatens people who are nice to me, now Ellen.

Apology

I am so sorry for anything mean that came out, like bad words.

Sorry I had a fit and felt upset about something or seemingly someone.

I wonder how you look fighting with a nice and accomplished person like me all day.

My mom keeps doing mean things to make me look bad when I wanna get back.

Apology

Sorry for the bad words that came up while I was bothered.  I didn't mean them, but I have to mean something.

I tagged my last post Apologies.

OK so I was just worried about soaking in the Buddhist humming my mom left on in the room I was ironing in.  People have been at me for liking Middle Easterners etc.

I feel I am slowly whittling away from relationships.

So, how can I get those people for annoying me.  I mean the ones messing with me in my room with hacking my computer to make things load like talking and the noises from the little expensive speakers.

Sad

I don't know if it was really my mom I was mad at.  Who, then, you ask?  Can I keep myself from getting mad?  I hope my mom is okay.

More questions?  I'm just overly sensitive.  Or I know why it was really done.  Maybe, the person felt an honest compelling reason.  I know some people seem nastier than others altogether or in some ways..  Everyone says yes and no about if they are nice to me.

I know if I write something down doesn't mean someone can nor will fix it.

This could be a big experience for me.  I don't want it to be taken away.  They're just being foolish.  They keep being mean to me in private with these little talking noises they put in my room.  This is a punishment, on doubt about it, and that's not okay.  I didn't really do anything, neither.

Watch someone else get this experience when I get old and it won't be as bad cuz they're "all white."

Even the hint of calling them names does not satisfy.

The only thing that comes to my mind as a strategy is to knock 'em, but that's not what I mean and that's not gonna work.  This has gotta stop.  I'm not sitting here soaking this in.

You can't tell me what I could or could not say.

No one cares what I say that I am treated like a loser by people watching me in private!  And the nasty messages they relayed they said were from Ellen or whoever they wanna make up.

I'm awake, still tired, irritable.. but I'm sorry last night didn't go so smoothly.  I must admit lotta turmoil injected here, 'way I see things.  Calls for a degree of mental flubs.  What to do?

I am so sorry for my seeming temper.  I thought my way outta it.  What you do you deemed reasonable.  I don't mean to be mean.  I pray for the innocent people involved.  Do what you must.  If you must forget about me, even for a time, is what could be needed.  If you wanna set straight something with me is fine, as well.  I tried to shut up, but apparently that's not enough..

I feel so bad.  But I didn't do anything!

Oh no's!

Will you ever forgive me?  I thought something sad against someone cuz I felt threatened that someone had to hurt them.  A not really moment.

They were being super annoying in the bathroom..

Stop threatening to steal my relationships.

That guy wouldn't stop!  Why do you care what I say back but not what you do and about getting too close?

Do you need another explanation?

I was merely thinking for my dad to stop being mean to me, and he's all ratting me out and trying to annoy me and acting like he's white.

Quit telling me I did something wrong.

I wonder if people feel obliged to talk to me.  They can talk to others and have different relationships.

Do you know about lying that like you have issues just to get someone else to bring something outta me?  It must be a mutual consensus.

Who has the right to say I deserve nothing?  That means you're talking about what's earned.  I could chose to ignore this, but why has this overcome my life?  It could result on a real life fight or conflict.

Why is Ellen still popular?  Why do other people still have a chance?

Someone is acting possessively of me and just flat out mean, and no I don't approve of that from anyone, saying I'm in trouble.

I feel bothered by some people about attention you get.

I didn't have these annoying messages before watching Ellen.

Ah!

Bad words I did not want to come came for someone else.  I dunno I feel so humiliated to be insulted by them.

Now, what??  No, I did not call anyone the N word in my mind on purpose.  I think it should be legal, but I don't do it.

Look, about the experimenters too I feel really bad.  I dunno what's going on.  I feel bad for the others.  I told my mom about her being agitating.  It was serious.  I even thought that.  I could tell the danger was coming.  I am not happy.  I didn't think that.  I wanted not to have that come out.  Help!  You all are copying something my Gramma did, did something really bad so I'd talk back and look bad and you use that against me.

What They Did

They set me up to think of bad words and then talked about someone who we should respect..  I tried to fix it, but it already happened.  I don't know how it was on purpose, but it's not.  I got some nasty messages.  Look, I said leave me alone, and my mom was being mean, too.

I don't think you really wanna do this.  I'm ugly, anyway..

STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

Problems

I asked my mom why she was acting agitated cuz it brought bad words to mine.  No one better make fun of me or pick on me for it.  She just left and said she was waiting for the chicken to thaw to eat.  I think she is copying my dad.  I said, "What do you think I'm stupid?  I asked you a question."

I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!

Problem

They are being annoying to me in my spare time.  They are dancing around saying I received a negative message.

I hope you aren't thinking of that girl.

WHY ARE YOU BEING WASTEFUL OF MY SPARE TIME

YOU WANNA JOB?   WELL, GUESS WHAT?  I DON'T GOT ONE!

Look I don't care how the page loads.

These people keep talking to me via how the computer loads every time telling me insulting lies to submit to about who I am, how I think, and what happens to me or not.

People are trying to make me feel bad out of nowhere.  I don't live my life messing up.  I'm constantly being wronged.

LOL Apologize?

The N word came tom my mind on accident and mostly was directed away from someone.  That's up to you if you wanna joke me.

You can't sit on the sidelines and adjust my actions to perfection and hate on me in the moment not knowing that until I realize it later.

Also, you can't act condescending to me all the time and mad at little things.

I said I'm not here to be your slave.  For the sake of others I spoke out.  I dunno part of what they're doing.  A nice person is not someone who hurts you.

You look like a scared little bug.

What did I do wrong?  My thoughts did not break thru the cusp.  I didn't mean to talk about someone.  What's the next conflict so I can dish out the rules?

So, my Facebook is slow to post these quotes now.  It messes up.

I just wanna forget about some things for other reasons, but I think it's sad and bad.

There's someone on Facebook representing something against me who keeps posting to me.

It has come to my attention someone wants self-pity for what I said.  I am sorry, don't remember insulting you.  I don't mean to burst your bubble by saying you're bemused at me.  You do look down on me for the bad things people say about me.  I just noticed you all are participating in my punishment, which is sick.  I am just a servant to Ellen.  I mean it in the way that we all are.

I see you're just wasting my life.

Is Facebook down?

"You're the one with the problem.."

They are "making a big deal over nothing."

I ALREADY SAID YOU ARE ALWAYS BEING MEAN TO ME

The wrong things I said the other/s thought were cuza you.  Just clearing that up, too..

So, that was so you know you got what you want covered with me.

How pathetically cruel, you wanna k*** me for her?

The Future

I may talk about her, but I'm mostly onta you.

THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'm not worried about what I said.  Make some rules.  I'll tell you if I approve.

I'm really sorry but don't know what is flat out wrong with what I said.  I should have if I could thought sooner not to think of the other person.  I could feel it in me.  It finally came to my knowledge.  I just had to complain about my problem.  Something made me go coocoo, maybe the medicine.  I didn't settle down an d hink straight.  I wonder why.  Can you help with the problem?

So, why is this other person mean to me?  You told her to do it!

So, what's it to ya?  Superstitious about my right to be interested in things like Ellen and what they have to say?

I even said sorry.  Someone is being a "party pooper."

I see people are fooling around like they can mother me.  How pathetic.

They keep communicating with me all meanly.  It's not very good.

I already told you what made me mad.  QUIT TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO.

I was mad and hit my sofa 1 week, as well as throwing things in my room that won't break.  I happened to be interested in looking like Ellen at the time and other people who do that.  Now, they are being superstitious and telling me I can't get into that stuff.  I feel it's not there.

I'm just upset at being mistreated.

I wasn't even trying to be mean to someone.

I don't need someone who doesn't care about me bossing me around.

If you're still wondering, I don't know what just made me mad.  I just feel like I've done nothing and these experimenters are incredibly mean.

What is your problem?  Nothing just happened.  You  have no right to do this.  Why can't I just relax?

I'm tired of  ya'll doing things for this other person while I suffer barely able to stay awake but not time to sleep.  It's about her against me, but you say it's me against her.

They are threatening me.

The Oscars were lousy, especially at the end, but better than last year.

I added more to the top.

See, she can do what she wants.  I will just be mad at those who know me for preventing me from not feeling in trouble.

You people are pathetic and can't leave me alone.

She's being mean.  I was upset at the Oscars.  My mom made me think of the N word and they made fun of me at the Oscars in coded message.  They were joking about her getting attention.  They said it in a bemused way, tho.  That could have triggered my talk.  I'm not sure what I'd say otherwise.  I didn't really attack her!

So, no, I did not offend anyone.

I see I was upset she got what I am in trouble not to get.  I was talking about it.  Mainly the fact I'm in trouble for nothing.

I also edited the heading of this blog to explain more about what I tend to do it seems.

All I Made My Point Last Night

was why that girl feels so confident posting pictures of her getting attention with a bemused grin and beady (as in dark and  bit bulbous alluding) eyes.  This is as to what I started discussing.  Other things came up.  I said last night even noting that bad.  I just wanted to know why I get in trouble for nothing and not her, showing off.  I found that my point, the me getting in trouble.  Not so interested in her bemused looks themselves, after all.

So..

Is it safe to go to bed?

Update

New heading.

I don't like someone using someone against me, like I can't handle my life.  Does this prove the lie?  Why can't I just go to bed feeling good after doing what others find nasty?  I was dodging being bad.  I will not take lies and harsh treatment, when others treat me much better.  I mean lying that I did something.  This is my personal journal.  I will not sit here and calculate the things that go by like this.  I'll just post it.  This is where I think my thoughts out and get help.

I can't believe how forward outcasted personalities are to me.

Yes, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.  I'm glad I roped off the problem.

Like I can't have them.  I'm not sure, but I think someone else thinks that, too.

I have things in my life I'm willing to share, but this person keeps thinking people I meet are for her.

I saw someone I liked from Australia who was very attractive and now I have someone else from Australia who keeps answering my posts, an older lady.  I know she was assigned to be all up in my life like that.  I don't think I'm the one who'd need that check-up.  They're ruining it for me, sending me meaningless messages.

Let's clear away this point 1st so baby is not stuck in the middle.

I got upset and hit my sofa one week.  So what?  You took away something important I felt in my life or else not much would be that important to me.  Including this punishment.

my life is rough and tough for no reason.  I feel stress even writing this, like I'll "lose all my friends."

That's partly a poor example.  I don't really mind.  It's just

Just figuring.  I am not out to get your kids.

If I don't care about your "marriage," I don't care about your kids.

Don't lie and tell me I was being mean to this person.  I just said others were mean to others.  Except, they are nicer to this person than to me.  I had more dirt that they don't gotta do much to get attention.  They just live life like a normal person, grow and develop, and get lucky.

They think it's a project.

To be nice to someone and to treat me meanly.

Lie

Doing something wrong is no excuse for someone to be mean.

What did others do to deserve that, be treated better than me?

See this person is on others's good side and I never was.

You know what else I caught?

This person is accepted by lesser individuals but told she doesn't have to talk to them while they threaten me to talk to them.

What I'm Mad About Otherwise

Just the way the other person coasts by taking all the esteem I earned and getting mad if I don't let her have it.

In general that the person coasts with others, like Chloe Grace Moretz in Dark Shadows just saying one thing and it being a big deal just cuz she said it.

Hello?

Fine.  I also am a normal girl who's not queer.  Do I not fit into either category?

I don't think all these people's thinking are above mine.  Why is this girl told she is so perfect?  It's like a detriment to other people who are told the opposite of themselves.

You're still trapping my ability to concentrate.

Why not leave me be rather than doing weird things like at the Oscars?

I can't quite put my finger -- yea, I don't think just that 1 younger girl is interested in having a good life.

Lookie this person was just bad.  I wasn't doing anything and was attacked and provoked to simply have a curse word come up cuz you keep flooding me with petty insults.

I don't know what's wrong with this person.  If I could lose weight again from pills, I would be thin again.  They have that tacky grin and those beady (like beady as in strong and visible) eyes.  That bemused, separated look like "I have to be the one felt up for" and while I just make fun of you like you want that."  Well, I don't, I don't do that and don't do certain things with those people.  Would I like to be friends?  I dunno!  Who wouldn't?

Don't play this out like it's big for the other person.  It's about their features but what other people puppet her to do, like a puppet on strings or what have you??  :/

Is this even appropriate.  What are you hoping to gain?  Apparently, people will all start to check in but not realize what's too late to do.

I have other problems.  People are supporting mean friends just because I got lonely and spammed them when they stopped being my friend it seemed like.  I look around in the world and it's about their mis-relationship with me.

If 1 Related Thing Makes Me Angry Related to Something of Someone's

it would be the people tracking me down keeping me from something just for hitting my sofa 1 week.  YOU WERE MEAN TO ME AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT I WANT IN PRIVATE.

Some people don't make themselves useful online.  Fine, act it up in real life, if possible.

Other People: "I guess all the attention just came naturally."

I can see you just looking on everything wrong on this blog I made for the public access.  You wish.

You have your diary, here's mine.

Why don't you talk to this person?

So, something is wrong and we all know it's sin.

Fame Babies

Use them as a racist tool.

I'm not fighting.  This is just what's happening and I'm trying to not insult the person.

Are you forgetting what the top of my blog says?  These are thoughts that everyone has who meets me.  I'm not posting this for someone famous.

So, I'm dumped by all, whilst others gain what I had?

What's there to even talk about?  This person is a pin cushion for personal pleasure.

}:  WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US

Wow, this person has people guarding her taking all the things of the nature that I earned.  Well, I am too disgusted to even want them back.  You should not bore into my head that I'm a bad person and put up with your worrying I need to be punished.  I did not grow up all punished.  I was good.  What did I do, now?  Something from 15 years ago?

I see you're watching me.

Question

Disclaimer: The caps are not a threat/shouting..

WHY DOES THiS OTHER PERSON JUST COAST ALONG

Why can't other people ever have fun, too??

I can see this person all giddy like my cousin about being the youngest.  What is their unusually close company for now?

Picking on me.

So, why is this person even posting this stuff?  No one probably does anything with that.  I'm not the one in trouble while my whole life I was considered the best behaved.  What did I do?  I don't like people roughing me around like they're all that.

How do I solve my problems if every time I write down something, something else happens?

I'm not doing this.  You be mean to me and say someone gets something I don't and I don't do anything wrong and you get mad.

These people in my room spout random insults.

Apology

Sorry if over on Facebook you are upset at what I said @ Bella Thorne.  I wasn't trying to attack her.  It's obvious.

I don't like people secretly telling me I do things wrongly when I don't.  I'm not answering to mistakes from the past every day.

Apology

I only have the right to be mad with myself.  I don't know who dunnit.  Even if they did, I dunno whose fault it was.  I am not asking for "forgiveness."

I've been trying to avoid "fighting."  That's why I'm not like all talking about this, plus I had a revelation it was a waste of my time when I went thru a phantasmagoria.

Of course, it's insulting messages.  I welcomed them to leave before.

Do you know people who just can't be quiet and get out?  That's what it's like when the people experimenting on me always mess with how the computer loads like I need them to talk to me.

What's so amazing about telling me I did something wrong when I didn't?  You think I was so bad when you annoyed me and I kept hitting my couch.

Who Done What

Knowest Not I, but they aren't going to be very happy.  Why?  Cuz I don't care what they say.

I'm weird

I should not have been so upset about the talking.

People make me mad.  I already explained myself, at least partly.  How would anyone even know what happened?

So, I get told something insulting, like I'm just to be tossed aside.  I kept flaring at myself on the inside in my room in my bed.  People keep insulting me in what they say, like I wanna follow a string of messages.  I did actually manage to not tell myself the truth.  The truth I still do not know to myself.  So, I was dodging getting too upset.  What was mentioned about someone more innocent was just an accident and barely breathed out.  I told myself what was done was wrong to quell my anger.  I got upset at the root of the blame, but I've been trying to hold back.  I couldn't land this nonsense anywhere.  I've been stolen from my esteem.  I don't wanna be bugged by the people talking to me in my room nor my parents!  This isn't the 1-way ticket out.  If you don't like me and just be nice to me to act like Johnny Depp, fine, but I can call the police.

I already told myself I had what I needed, but you people keep being the ones to tell me otherwise!

Why are these people talking to me meanly like this while I type?

Mad

I dunno who done what, but I had a mad reaction.

I don't think it's "cute," and I don't think it's "funny."

I guess no one cares who done what, long as it's been done.

You can't have a say in my life if I can't have a say in the world.

Would I do outlandish things to myself if I felt bad about what I did?  Does anyone have a right to try to make another person feel bad?

If you wonder why I look how I do it's cuz I haven't been out day in and day out.  I'm not reduced to nothing really.  That's why I need to work on school.  I won't be sedentary.

I did not do anything to anyone badly.  I am just a problem for others.  I just wanna coast thru my days now, but I can't.

They are disturbing me in private, again.

Apology?

What happened to make for such a bad day?

I wanted to be nice to Dad, but on the inside kept making me mad.  His driving off-ed one of my eyes.  Someone may have told him to hurt me for a silly reason or because of silly people.  People in Orlando I can say easily are very off.

Very sorry, I should not be out of it.  I go to bed, everything is fine, I forget.  Help me now.

Also, about the California comment, lotta people know and have problems, not pointing anyone out.

Did you know I am a little sick and delusional?

I guess it was a big accident.

My dad left me hanging.  I was thinking how normal people can fun @ curse words, like construction workers, army, etc.  They think they are so smart.  My dad on purpose bothered me in secret message about touching someone, surprised me.  I thought of cursing again more carefully and it came up but not in context of a sentence.

I'm so sorry for if I should not have said anything.  I'm sure there was something good I should say.  I dunno really what others think of this.

I had a phantasmagoria when I was on pain killers for my spine for 12 hours in bed trying to sleep.  I heard Dr. Phil or someone telling me I want this now that now in lapses, in between.  I have been trying to exercise not doing this/relaxing.  I cannot get a hold of those thoughts.  I just wait as if for the Messiah.

Maybe alas it's time to rest.  I am ready to have fun.  I guess it'll be a 1 person party.

Why are people racist to me?  Aren't there things other than that to notice?  I'm not the only type of monkey.  It's like I'm offensive.  Why am I talking back if others don't suffer racism?  Just been wondering.

I feel like I'm being teased about something I didn't do.  I'm so sad.

I guess I should not have had anything against anyone now.  What is done, what I've said, no one cares when they should be outta this mess.  I can see it coming.  I mean when I say I have a problem with something.  None of this was like this before.  I stand in general where I stand.

Too late to be sorry, waw waw waw.

Sorry?  It was partly me and maybe partly just an accident.

I like being Caucasion and attractive.

Why did you pay attention to me but just get mad too easily?

What's do cute and convenient in disowning me if something upsets me?

Why are people who love to California so mean or annoying?

You don't have to pay attention to me.

Just tell me what I really say so I can fix it.  If no one can do that, ya'll don't care.

Supposedly, I don't know whose fault it is.

It doesn't matter if I don't get attention, but I don't like this game of people pushing me around.  It's also like feeling I'm a failure.

Why are people mean to me when I get the attention I need or appreciate?

Why are people telling me what I ^really^ said?

Why have I lost at least 3 relationships to someone being other people's "spitting image" in the situation at least racially?

I was trying to be quiet but guess that does nothing, "relatively speaking."  I am trying to avoid talking about someone, but this seems to be happening in general and of interest.

If I Could Do It Differently/What I Did

I don't wanna be bothered for petty mishaps and felt ashamed.

I guess I'd try to forget about it.  There's nothing to think.  What?  Oh, I see, it's a discipline tool.

You just wanna be mean to me all the time.  What if that happened to you.  Don't give me none of your nonsense.

This just proves  you all actually think this is an opportunity to be racist.

So, tell me, how would you feel if it was you being picked on when  you think you're staying popular by picking on me, anyone?  This is outrageous and outlandish.  I am getting messages from Ellen via people right and left supposedly cuza my dad, which I won't accept.

Apology

I came home from college sick.  I was startled with a laced insult.  I got mad but missed a lot of the targets.  I understand if you think I'm unfit.  You don't have to pay attention to me.  Sorry, for the targets I sorta got.  It was a mistake, a known one at the time.  I just didn't know what to think and was too late but after didn't think anything.

Contest

I could get confused by you and do one thing wrong and I'd be out.

Ellen DeGeneres

I find her "unforgiving" in an impersonal way, and she'd think you were making fun of Hitler if you said she herself has things that would then not be forgiven.  I think she's the type that's afraid to dip her toes in the water.  I don't like how she's like my dad secretly getting into others's business.

By saying she is unforgiving I'm not implying perversion but the basic fact that if you do something wrong you're out.  That really wouldn't be convenient for her, almost perfect she thinks other than not forgiving others as Jesus said, a simple task in everyday life.

Then, she follows the new ways of people like my Gramma, to "leave no stone unturned."  People are allowed to be upset, especially if someone is trying to hurt people.  Can anyone prove me wrong?  If you could, you should not be mad at me and hurt me emotionally.  Then, you'd simply relapse into the saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  I mean relapse as in you'd think this and then forget what I just said.

I refuse to live in a world where your mouth only remains in a simple smile.  That's not this world.  I don't think Jesus smiles much.

So, ya, anyone can help me with this?  You know how to come in contact with me (like my forum.)

I said I was sorry but was very mad.  I know this plan was made because of something I did where I was mad, too.  Why don't I have the right to be mad?  I like my dad, but he is mean.  I get mad.  How can I deal with this nonsense?

I don't really know what to say.  I didn't mean to be mean to anyone.  Too bad that word "k***" keeps coming up, but I don't mean to end someone.

Sorry for the mean thoughts?  Looks like you already got back, tho.

Yer always mean to me.

You all don't process information.

Seriously, you all are just being mean to me for my dad.  DUH THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

It's all too often.  Why do I deserve to have these things brought up with me?

They are randomly saying things that bother me.

STOP ANNOYING ME AND THREATENING ME.

OK get this, this person is mean to me.

I should go back to bed.  I can't even relax with all these insults.  Why are they now getting me mad every day?

I'm not here to settle the childish qualms others can't resist displaying towards me, such as being mean to me when they think I could have done something just absolutely perfect.  If you make me mad was not because I did it on my own!

LEAVE ME ALONE

Problem

They won't leave me alone.

How do you explain this?  This proves they are bad.  Someone must have agreed that the experimenters bother me.

What right do you have to talk to me secretly?  What if we don't like each other or I don't take to you exactly?

Help!

They made me very upset this morning.  I ended up going thru the word "k***" but set apart to represent it to something else.  I feel as though I can't trust people.  All the really cool people condone me.  I can't get out of this sassing that someone I trust said something mean to me via secret message some other person, be it the people experimenting on me.  I'm just kinda mad in general.  I know it's not just to help me.

I ended my note on that other people are nice to someone but not me, racially, not that the person did anything wrong.  Well, not that someone else did, neither.

Why don't you quit monitoring me?  You're a criminal.  And you're making fun of how I say it, too.

If my old friends don't have to talk to me but still seem to overshadow my life, why do I have to have *** with or be m******* by my dad?

Look at all these people who threw their life away for him!

No hard feelings.

Maybe, you're not mean?  I am worried it is all for my dad.

You are wrong if you think I don't have problems with my family.  You think I should be punished more for having a good family because it's easier to be good.. but they play around with my private life with others.

I don't know how to decide if something matters.

It's all secret messages.  Like, normal things that are okay but are put there to mean something else.

The "Dishonest" Label

You'd say it's right to be nice, but instead you act like I need to be punished when I've done nothing wrong to you nor at all in a way and I'm 28 years old, an adult.

It was another of those things lodged in my brain to do, to think that.  I'm very sorry, but I was being slammed at mentally incessantly and it was hard to make a counter-judgement.  I'm sure the police would agree in this case.

What should be done with me?  What I do is done and is bad but not on purpose.  My thoughts when they slip.  My therapist doesn't say much about it but says that I'm schizo.

They are abusing me and letting everyone else run freely.

If all you care about is messing with 1st impressions, you will never get anywhere.

How am I supposed to control my thoughts?  With people banging in secret messages?  Sometimes, something comes out without my moderation.  What is that?  I really don't mean it.  In fact, I was onto being nice to someone.  You know what was said?  "You can never have them back."  On the spot.  When I was hanging my head in shame, they suddenly say that.  To make me feel even worse and like I can't be sorry or something weird.  That could have contributed to this.  Like, you can't be sorry.  Just trying to block you out thru any means.

What I Meant

Was that fate would turn around and bite them in the butt for the deep cutting and incessant insults thrown at whatever becomes important in my life for no good reason at all.  I guess my dad just wanted that fate to say something else.  He put it in my head to make me look guilty, on a flow, to be like his mom.

Why are there thought police?  I probably don't mean what I think nowadays.  Someone else did it.

cont.

I also got the fruit.  It's strawberries in chocolate mostly and pineapple shaped in a bouquet.. and 3 grapes on a sticks.

cont.

My aunt just sent me a really cute teddy bear holding a strawberry dipped in chocolate that I like.  My dad may mess with me getting cute gifts "just because 'it must be related.'"

Problem

My dad won't stop pounding mean secret messages into me when I got up and came out to eat tonight.  I didn't really mean it, but the thought came out that maybe he or someone else would get it..  I'm tired of their incessant giving in to meanness towards me for various things that aren't bad.  You know, these thoughts keep processing with me.  I didn't remember to actively ignore the beatings I felt in my head from his making noises taking out the garbage.  He even looked at me snidely when I woke up.  If other people are disposable, than so is he.

They won't leave me alone and get on with life.

Why do people respect my dad, when I am just living my life, they play games and bring him into mine.  No one has *** with their dad.  And I'm NOT talking about older men, neither, to have ***.  It's a no.  I would only do it for the tradition.

My dad won't stop being rude to me periodically and then ricocheting back.  I feel reverberations from the past before.  He does it in a way no one here tends to notice.

My dad keeps acting like I'm bad.  The normal response would be..  And don't threaten to attack me because you know what the next thing is.  You all won't let him be nice to me.

For some people not even wanting to have any kids, you sure have strange dreams and ideals set up for your life and in your mindset the eyes of others.

Something Normal People'd Like to Know

Does someone have a problem with me?

Lemme guess, my dad?  Well, he doesn't have a right to do that.  Another certain someone?  They don't know enough to.  Not by me!

People are being lazily sneaky with me.  Really, just look at this.  Ever since you kicked me outta Music Education, you've been onto "sneaky."

I can see the satisfaction these actions can bring.

I am left alone in the dark with people pelleting things at me.  What if I said no to you?  My life is set to be perfect for me.

So

I did some thinking, sorry, and hope for a better day tomorro'!

Apology

Today, it started out 2 black girls, one very obese and one very short were tagging at me like I was nothing tho.  I shoulda just realized they were colored and not get mad in that way.  Sometimes, I don't know what to do about things like that.

Apology

I was trying to talk about someone nicely with my dad, but I had some thought of restraint from them.  I will try not to.

Apology

My head really was damaged, that's why I yelled, the movie theater was a 3 ring circus at the Sponge Bob Movie.  My chair was bumped like 5 separate times.

I'm sorry I acted out in uncontrolled ways at the psychiatrist.  I didn't know what to do but for some reason thought I might do something.

I am very sorry I went straight to the source so-to-speak in wondering if someone nice damaged my head.  I'm sure there was a reason, but I don't have the guts to do that to someone.  I tried not to be vicious, but it came out maybe that's why I was so mad, that someone so nice would do that.  My head!  I'm sorry, but my head.. I am trying to be sorry.  I feel something is missing.  Oh yes, I want to figure out why I seem so mean to someone else.  I guess I should submit that I was stupid but not purposely mean.  Take whatever restraint from me you must for whatever was not meant to be.

:(

Well whoever.  I don't mean to say it's someone who didn't do it.  I don't wanna attack people for being mean to me, neither.  It just ends up in a fight.

Problem

I will not have my world controlled by a wacko mean person, one who intimidates my relationships but not who usually does..

Today at the movies during Sponge Bob a lady walked behind me who was fat with a very large rear end.  She hit the back of my chair and it hurt my head.  I yelled at te people in the food part and they sent someone in.  I had just came out earlier to tell on the cough chain with mostly little kids.

My dad is giving me a hard time again, thinking I can't have a relationship cuz I was mad they mighta did it.

There's not really saying I can't be in a relationship if I hit something like my sofa or ask someone in public why they're looking at me.  What about when the people all said I can't have the relationship when I could?  Moving in my chair seems to be feeding the frenzy.  So what?  That lady was up to no good anyway.  I didn't hurt anyone.  I wanted to get away.  And when I hit the table, I hit it no more for I have a computer sitting on it.  I have a stress relief toy.  I do it sometimes just to prevent things from happening to know I have that outlet if I feel bad, like a comfort.  What do you do when you are upest?  I know the mascot for this decision about taunting me is from someone who's often notorious for being in a bad mood and in language, which strangely has come to an all-around total halt due to older age?  So what?  My dad and sisters still think fondly of their alcoholic dad who passed away long ago.  Their mom is grumpy all the time and says, "Oh, nuts," and is rough.  My mom was being rough the whole car ride.  I found when I don't feel good and can't remember how to deal with things, I'll "deal with it," so-to-speak.  "If you want something done, you must do it, yourself."

Let's just talk about the chair.  I scooted up in it.  It was probably my subconcious because the lady was sneakily annoying me by moving in the chair behind me touching the one I was in.  So what if it squeaked by accident?

OK, OK, so I seemed in a bad mood.  It was cold outside and I was crazy on what to do.  It started off, too, if you are interested, when I made shuffling noises with my feet to negate a weird secret message, like in a dream state.  They were making fun of my dad.  Well, they tried to say I was like him, like they were "in the program" cuz my mom was driving all nasty.  The n word came to mind by accident and shouldn't have when my mom seemed to wanna see me naked.  I didn't mean it and was fine in a way.  My mom wouldn't stop being incessant about that I had to be like my dad and not her in a bad way, the bad ways.  The whole drive over!  I could sense it and I didn't wanna.  The whole drive was like "a trip."  So, I come out.  My mom had acted like she could not trust me, already.  I go in.  I sit, I'm fine.  My mom sits far from me where we usually sit, too?  What did I do?  The n word thing?  That's because people are watching me.  I don't seem to think it much alone outside.

I didn't hit the table with my computer on it.  That's mainly what this was about.  Go set some rules, now that it's too late.  No one ever said I couldn't shuffle my feet nor ask why someone is looking at me like I'm nothing.  The chair thing happened when these kids kept making little agitating noises that I could not have a relationship for asking why someone was looking at me.  Imagine if a little girl did what I just did.  She'd be a hero.  This is like the rape case where the guy goes to jail for life whereas the murderer who turned himself in gets rewarded for only 27 years.  What if they caught him before turning himself in?  What about when the people executed a guy who came in with a positive attitude but was a murderer?  Not all murderers get executed.

Also, it's none of your business if I make a statement.  I didn't do anything violent.  What about those boys making little agitated talk like I can't have a relationship and threatening to spread the rumor?  I can't have that.  Moving in my chair didn't help that way.  I wonder why I did it?  Just like the other things I do.

Then, I proceeded to zip my zipper up loudly when it was my turn.  That wasn't like throwing a magazine across the room.  What about all these other people in relationships who led a life of havoc??

Apology

Was I supposed to recognize something different that someone else might think it who has a right to?  If you want, I take it back.  It's not what I meant, tho.  You can do as you like in how yu treat me or avoid me for this.

The people watching me get mean and feel they have to talk back.

Why won't they be quiet?

Liar, you're pretending I'm backtalking someone.  You sound so tacky and annoying and I'm tired of your excuses.  You're just setting me on edge.  Go do it to someone else?

They said something suggestive to me, "Christina, may you lose your eyesight!"  That's not how it works!

What if I don't want this cooky person acting all cooky around me all the time with secret messages in little noises in my room and on my computer?  Ya'll think I am not worth anything.  How dare you!  I am trying to calm down.

Problem

I'm 28.  I don't need mean people as my parents.

Problem

You can't mess with what I feel.  That makes people m*********.

Problems

1st, I imagined k***ing myself.  These thoughts against others would/do not do.

So, I got up.

I wanted to say I'm stuck here thinking of things that don't matter.

I can't have my dad and older aunt thinking I can't have a relationship with someone if they don't like some thing I do or if  I do something I in the end/really know is wrong.  So what if I'm in a relationship?  My Gramma thinks so, too.  Stop making me feel guilty.  My dad also has a peeve I should not see my relatives and he was supported in this by someone else.  They are mean people who refuse to show me any feeling.  They don't show it in the right way now that I'm not as inhibited.

OK I'm trying to go to bed.  Sure they will pull something else.   I was fine alone laboriously ironing a full load of jackets and sweaters and more.

Problem

They just made a noise that made my nose feel like bored thru and slimy.  Stop messing with my nose.  It feels like it's elevated with air.

Dear Problems Blog

I thought it'd be a nice night until I felt upset messages when I heard my dad cough.  I didn't mean to think anything that bad.  Trying to feel good about my self and go to sleep.

News

Orlando is droning on how I can't have a relationship.  Someone did disappear in my life because of this foolishness.  No, I don't know who all is really doing it.  More like 2 people.  Wow, to you, people are just monkeys jumping on a bed!

Someone is a bit weird about my dad, a bit of a nuisancy.

Why does everyone have to be such crackers, whatever that means to  you?  Lemmee see what they did about that..   Well, to me it means something that's okay.  We need more terms like that.

some nice Wiki meanings  :)

What exactly is it to you?  Some unfortunate mishap that could have been saved on your part?

It has surfaced

no one wants me to live this life.

Police are such cows.

No one said I couldn't talk to strangers.  I'm an adult!

About moving my chair.  It was them funning I couldn't have a relationship.  I wanted to go outside before that but too cold.  SO WHAT.  Jail me, but quit bothering me!

1 thing I forgot to mention..

..I moved my chair.

OK, time to talk.

Why is this nonsense still coming up?

Please.  Help.

I just don't want these weird punishments.  I chose to make a "public" display.  All I did was say, "Why are you looking at me?"  I could hit something really angry.  Does not mean I give up relationships.  You cannot arrest me for blinking.

I'm tired of this unfair weirdness in my life every day.  I can do what I chose to do with my life.

Someone certainly got in my life.

My Day

I think I will take my 1st college math class (I was in one before but didn't finish) in the summer.  I think I can handle 2 during the regularly timed semester.  I want 1 to be science..

So, something I should probably tell you.  I was at the psychiatrist office, and my mom driving me there kept thinking I had to be like my dad in a disgusting way.  Later on, she acted like this was a deliberate message of punishment, ruining my school life and everything.

In the office, she sat away from the spot I chose, where we usually sit.  Someone came in and scuffled like saying, "So, that's the daughter."  I didn't like that.  I scuffled my own shoes, and then she acted all tacky and triumphant like she knew what I did and who I was and that I couldn't have it, when she herself sent a message by scuffling.  The husband looked at me smiling, and I just looked back and said why are you looking at me.  Later on, a family sat behind me and was saying how I could not have a relationship.  I moved my chair up in annoyance and finally moved over.  Then, the youngest, a boy, looked at me, and I was listening to music and asked why.

My psychiatrist got mad when I told him he misdiagnosed me and kept speaking out against me and saying how my parents didn't have to support me.

Apologizing, Not Begging

I'm sorry I was so upset today.  I tried to not be.  I got some threats that bothered me.  Anyway, it's off to bed.  Not sure if I shoulda mentioned the threats.  At least not like that.

Apology

I didn't know that saying "sh" before part of someone's name was so offensively shocking.  It was in a story.  There was no telling what I meant.  I would do that in a real story, but since this is online and about someone else I did have faint thoughts of disclaiming it as not an insuult.  I guess I figured they'd know I have nothing against them and that it was a joke.  I just didn't know.  I was upset it was considered an insulting thing and to explain slipped my mind.  How would I ever know all these little annoying things would be seen as taking out funning and pleasure against someone?  I had a feeling people would know what I meant.  How would I know?  I thought it sounded cute.  I know now and won't do it.  I even thought of one for me Christina Shitstina.  I almost cursed awhile ago, TBH (to be honest..)  It doesn't bother me if it's just in fun.  I didn't really mean it personally.  It was just a story.  I thought it was.. guess I got caught up in things.  I didn't mean it in an insult in any way.  It shocked me the way this cute trick came out.  I should have picked a new letter combination.  How about like Christina Ristina.  People are finding damage in what I write like I'm making some sort of pattern, but I'm not.  I don't see anyone else out here writing so much that they will get caught.  This is dangerous.  You should not assume that these things are catch phrases when they need to be used for other purposes.  It can get in the way, when you do things like this.  No one will know what to do.  I guess I cannot apologize enough in others's opinions yet still.  I didn't mean anything.  How can I say I'm sorry?  I just picked a weird thing to say just to see if it was okay?  I could not think.  I could have used it on someone else and it'd go.

Why I Said It This Time

I dunno, it seems a permanent part of my life.  Talking it out, it may not help.  It seems some people went wild about me being online and are pinpointing fault in me.

I just felt really bad, that's all.  I like the person.  I just don't like the message others are giving me.  My parents didn't care if I stomped growing up, except probably moreso in public.  They don't like me throwing things.  The world is just so agitated and hectic.

I find what is going on to be suggestive.  I feel even threatened.  I cannot pay for all this.  People are being mean to nice people to hurt me, too, "instead" of just me or with whatever applied to them.

What It Is

Someone keeps posting on my page on Facebook just to secretly annoy me.  I liked someone from Australia, but someone else from there who's weird keeps posting there.  I bet someone else is getting affection.

Problem

They are going back and misanalyzing my past.  I can hit stuff if I wanted without worrying about being punished.  Shouldn't the bad feelings only come naturally?  What business is this of yours?  I'm too old for anyone to judge me and punish me.  I'm only supposed to get kindness at this age and level of maturity.  You shouldn't be making me mad.  If you heard torturing noises and your parents wouldn't stop bugging you in secret, what would you do?  Call the police?  They would ruin the experiment!  These are the things that make me wanna m*********, probably.  No one seems to care, except people who can't do anything unless I post it here.  They keep doing things and I can't write them all down.

Apology

Do what ya'll must, I am so sorry.  For getting upset and being crazy if it happened.. I tried not to post that.  Some of the things made sense, but it's not a normal thing to talk about.  Maybe, there are other things I did not talk about.

Are ya'll trying to punish me?  I'm 28 and didn't do anything wrong.

All these people working for ya'll have one thing that's important to them, that they feel on top.

So, someone is messing with me now.  There are all these negative messages about me.  I shouldn't have to go thru with this.

How does it make a difference if I report something on this blog or not, simply put too.

So, why do they pop up and say mean things that are offensive topics to others, the reaction they are drawing out.

Disclaimer

I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, but I felt affected, about saying something can't happen to me but to someone else.  I see them slowly in a process of having other people do things and not me.  I'm just informing.  Sorry if I did anything or just said anything wrong.

Upset

I'm so sorry if you know how I really felt behind screen.  I do get upset.  You should do what you want.  Am I supposed to be quiet?  I feel I am in trouble all the time for nothing but racism.

Why is talking to me always a fight?  I am speaking in general.

But sorry.  I said you should all do what you want.

What can I do to make things better?  At any moment, anything could be said of me.

I don't need to be tested all the time.  Everyone knows what I am like.

Why are you acting like I need to give an apology?

When I post images from IMDb message boards, sometimes it doesn't show up on my blog when I copy it.

Why are you talking to me..?

How mature do you think it is to constantly dote one someone else to rub in to someone?  Sounds like something to spread around?

They probably are making it up for others.

Problem

They told me something would never happen to me and did stuff.

These experimenters are racist.

So they come up to me to tell me they aren't listening.  Racism.

Problem

I got a notification on Facebook, and it didn't show up until I made a new tab.

Can I say I wish the best for someone?  I don't think I will cease to seek attention, as I had before the experiment was to my knowledge and still not sure when.  Just saying I hope that's not a part of their wish.  I don't believe it was.  Grown-ups are just afraid to take responsibility.

Got Upset

My mom seemed to be making fun for like being in trouble and I didn't feel like I wanted her as a relationship while we "move on up."

I knew people before who acted like they liked me just enough to get off and leave me without a life nor any of my friends to talk to.  They used to play they wanted to be just like me.

This all will just ruin my time leaving off on these ridiculously bad notes.

It's too bad you want to think you see me actively alluding to something serious.  I don't see it being done to anyone else.

I am tired of people being scared to have any manners with me.  I don't feel special.

How did I invade anyone in writing this?  1 it made me have to deal with a tossup on what I thought of the nature of my relationship with someone.  2 I am thinking people will keep bugging me for things just to bug me until it's too late.  I am not suggesting anything like I don't want someone to get attention.  It all worked out all my life before Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Pirates of the Caribbean.  I just found people are afraid to say anyone has talent since Tim Burton.  It's only for him, perfect or not.

It's not the attention but "what" happens.  I can't complain about some things cuz it's just not right.  I just feel people are treating me with twisted feelings and telling me what I think when I mean it in a specifically different way.  Some people totally stop talking to me, whereas before they did.  Something upset them.  I can't say I deserve it, but why do these things stop when something happens like that?  What I mean about today is just the general message.  I know you hold some things important over me.  I feel I'm just saying the same things you'd know over and over.  I was upset at my mom's taunting me I think.  Like in secret message.  I don't wanna ruin my relationship .. with her, too.

I feel people just think I'm worthless, just there to do what you don't want "the ones" to do who are born when computers became popular in 1997-1998.  What if I'm better in some way?  Fine.

I see what you all want.

And I'm not fighting about attention but that my mom was teasing me.  I don't think I had much to say otherwise.  Because I mentioned some things, I assume they'd wanna be talked about.

I don't like how this is taking shape you think must be over one issue, but I'm sorry to say it's not.  LOL.  Not LOL at other issues.  It's not from that issue.  This was gonna happen anyway more likely.

My mom kept acting a certain way, and I guess it upset me.  I just meant I don't wanna be rubbed into my parents and lose other relationships.  She kept acting like she said, "It's okay," in a mocking way.  That's basically it, this paragraph.

Every problem can be fixed.  I just feel that I should not be treated like I'm bad and it works out with others, instead.  I dunno.  I do want others to get attention.  I lived life normally, before, and I was perfectly fine.  I had said to stop all this experimental sacrifice.  Long before.

So, I'm sorry if anyone was offended by this.  I think most of us are just making ends meet socially in society.  Most people would not strongly go into disagreeing.  You can't just live by Tweeting.  You need to record yourself talking and learn to make substantial works of writing on life and fun and pleasure and feelings.

So, sorry, not sure how to make this better for anyone.  Prayers and hope for they who yearn for attention and for things to be right for them.

So, yes, I think I'm not much of a person.  In a way, I really try if possible.  I'm pretty good for a Eurasian with an obese dad, but my dad seems more like a tired, sorta lackadaisical obese, not I.  I mean in some ways I probably share some of the same ways of being.  I tell my dad to shape up for his own good.

Question

Why should my happiness hurt -anyone-??

About Before

What I said I hope does not all stem from that which I am not supposed to talk about.  And am to ignore??  Sorry, if I gave anyone a hard time.

Issues

I just watched Dr. Phil and felt suggestions of guilt of things I've said but just for saying them.  I only posted more clearly but carefully on "what" when I was incessantly attacked, in my opinion.

If you don't like me cursing, you can't tell me after I seem to stop if it mattered before just to make me seem guilty cuz lotta people curse don't get in trouble or nothing.

Lotta people who weren't involved specifically in one thing I did tend to start anew and test me and get me off without really giving me a chance.

It seems that sometimes you should talk things out some.  It seems that me trying to avert punishment for the nature of what I've said is the thing that gets them.

When I go out here in Orlando, people can tell specifically what I'm thinking.  I don't try to share these things, but they seem to surface themselves to them.  So, that's why I post them here.  Things probably unravel themselves and are worth putting down.  These things are not attacks.  They are panic attacks.

I am curious.  I think they just wanna get down me in trouble and probably make others happy for convenience of situation in the process.

Before I started cursing for a time on my blog, I was treated like the star of the world.  Now, I'm made fun of and put down constantly.  How pathetic, just for cursing when I'm the one attacked.  I did stop cursing!  I didn't get the message to stop.  They just wanted to see how far they could make me upset.  They just roll their eyes and don't know what to say to that.  I don't know how else to describe it.  They just look aloof and condemning??  It's what I said, they are trying to get me to do things that only certain people disapprove of, that isn't wrong.  Today at supper, I ended up thinking so what if someone did some really bad crime, doesn't mean you can be mean to me.  I thought that crime specifically but did not mean that literally.  What's the use of thinking of that like that?  I had posted something related recently.

I think people are against me because of my race, really.  Sorry to disappoint, but some people are.  Don't encourage me to think about it and try to get back in my thoughts.  I'm trying to ignore it.

I think in the end, I'm hated on for my age not being neither young enough nor old enough.  They want one group of people or one individual to get everything forever, like something about them is of higher esteem and quality.  When they get categorized into a group, they jump out of it and want something else, everything, too, it seems, so that others feel they don't deserve what they had, neither, when it's important.

People put me up to things I don't deserve to have and make me feel uncomfortable about getting any of anything like it.

Why is who I am defined only by my behavior?  Race?  Afraid I'll start being better when someone else is a different race?

I am upset I am not accepted by some people.  They keep being mad at me for when I didn't know they really wanted me to stop cursing about putting these annoying noises in my room.  They were being very mean.  There was no reason to begin with.  That probably made me even more mad, not think at least it's not my fault, just get mad.  The effects are spreading.  No one really knows me.  Why should anyone have to suffer this?  I know all these things are done to me cuz of things that were supposedly unfair to others or things that have nothing to do with me.  Why not get mad at the other older adults who did them?  I already explained why I cursed and that I wish I didn't.  I had a reason.  You all just wanna invade my privacy, along with "getting rid of me."  Well, if you think about it in one way, no no one "has" to like anyone.  I mean just anyone, since everyone is in such competition.  Why like me?

What can I do or say to make things better?  I wasn't that mean.  Maybe, I could've said it better, thought more.

I feel I'm being made fun of for sounding like I'm pleaing, too.  I don't have to be seen like that racially, pleaing like I'm that weak 1/2 Chinese girl.

You seem to wanna talk about that certain something yet also not.  So, I dunno, think I shouldn't.  Why does all this to others seem to stem from that?  I'm trying to not talk about it.

Problem

In recent years, my dad has been acting like he has breadth over me, when he's usually always been very respectful not to do that.

They keep trying to have the last word in.

Also

They keep rubbing things in only for me to unravel them and deny them for being tacky.

They're acting like I was never the one and someone else is successfully.

How is he justified?  I bet ya'll actually think under him saying when you also think something against me.

So, what's he do?

I see him, but at work I bet people have him under control.

I'm sorry if someone is hurting you.

To clarify, what if I'm not playing the game that to make others safe I have to suffer punishment of being mean to me cuza my dad or another person?

I think ya'll're just have no credibility.  You only want kids who are still teens born around 1997-1998, people who are all white, with a young dada.

If someone's not white, you attack, too.

You all keep beating me and I don't beat you back and I post it on here and where can I turn if people I know go crazy about that fact?

Report of the Day

I feel drowsy.

I didn't really outwardly have problems with my parents.

Sorry for my fuss I must produce on here earlier.. I feel over it.  I don't know about later.

Why do you do this to yourselves?

Problems

I just took a walk.  The suggestions won't stop..

Dad's home, time to eat, more to put on the plate for this place (blog.)

How am I bad?

These negative messages seem to be having a domino effect.

here

home

I might've gotten more mad here.

This is all pretty laid out factually.  I am trying to avert this place.

You never know what people mean.

It seems to mean you're outta your game temporarily.  It might be a detached message from you that means nothing against what you believe but your problems.

My Race

You aren't supposed to mention it, but I like to sometimes.  I'm not suddenly okay liking Chinese because someone with Italian blood shows up.  Disclaimer, I do like Chinese like anyone would.

Another Fact

Not only does it matter who it is but are they competent to talk to someone so much.. I guess like a teacher of one class all year?

Paying

If they do it, it is like way prestigious, but it might just be taking out anger.

I think 1 reason

1 would use it was to, not only get rid of me, but to make prestigious people feel comfortable that I'm not just prestigious meeting prestigious people and to get at me for nothing.  What liars.  I do want friends.  This isn't friends.

Paying

Why am I interacting with strangers who tap into my room and computer with speakers, cameras, hacking, etc.?  Is this a trap?  What if they are rubbing off on me in a way I don't like?  I am not saying this all of a sudden but wondering about when it last started in 2012, which is a long time.  What about when it happened in 2005?  They stopped in 2005..

Do I have to say this, too?

You only don't want me to talk anymore it seems because I tried to improve on that, and this catastrophe may take baby steps for me.

So, I'm 2nd class.  They are on the defensive.   I don't know how else to make my point and say this but elevating someone as "princess."   I can almost see people, they are getting at me like I prevented someone from being "princess."  Someone used to treat me like a star.

Well, it's true, some things really aren't worth it.

Now, my mom is messing around with her ruitine with me.  Among other things.  How is that okay, for my family to do this?

They won't stop.  They want a relationship severed.  They're still making up stuff!!

How can I make things better?  I don't feel I'd get a direct answer to this question.

Wouldn't it be interesting if there was a real reason discussed, like why ya'll get so mad if I find an issue to talk about of a certain someone and situation.

I don't want what these people to do to ruin my life and anything in it.  All I did was say what happened, tho it wasn't fun.

Problem

They are acting like I'm whining and whining as though I were a made up version of my dad.  They are bothering me.  Looks like they don't care.

They're still messing around.

Do I need to "pay?"

Why does everyone in public keep calling me a marshmallow?

Why are they invading my privacy?

cont.

I just got an outfit in case I get on Dr. Phil..

They are sending me more messages..

Problems

There is 1 notification on my Facebook and they took awhile to load this.. I am saving for a new computer, too..

cont.

shopping for a hat

and they are picking on me for feeling guilty - ARGH

They are doing something weird on my computer.  I'm shopping, and the Go sign pops up 1st on the side.

Ya'll haven't really developed a special reason for getting upset every time I post something here.

I'm so sorry if it has to be like this.  Yes, I am fending for myself like a mature person.  I am not trying to become insulting.  Remember the heading of this blog??

I think they are busy tossing things to like hassle with me, like, "Oh, what if no one famous gave you any attention."  And so what about this, "What if I got attention.  Ha ha ha ha."  You could just in the end not really pay any attention to me, and I'd deal with it.  What if I said I'd prefer one person over another now but maybe later "get back in the game with other people being a fan?"

Problem

I DON'T LIKE THIS PERSON BOTHERING ME VIA THE COMPUTER, MAKING THINGS HAPPEN AT CERTAIN TIMES

And like I said

it looks bad on her (part.)

So

The problem is I have someone fighting me.

He said what he said.

Why does my dad follow my thoughts of saying, "in pain?"

Do you have any friends?  I'm not asking sarcastically.  I'm thinking of something abstract.  Like, I guess if I want friends I have to take turns and listen.

I welcome ya'll into my life.

You already said what you said.  What exactly is it you wish you had?  Don't waste your life bothering me.

I don't agree

that I should be punished to begin with.

Problem

My parents are getting close to me in a weird way with symbolic messages left around the home.

I know who all's behind this.  Why do ya'll keep being racists?

This person is being promoted.

Problem

I'm am being harassed and bullied daily by someone younger.

Does anyone just have an allergic reaction to things being posted across the internet??

Problem

People are working on distancing me from some people and harming me.

Problem

People keep acting like I'm bad.

OK, come on.

Don't be afraid to talk.

I can see that someone tried to punish me using someone else to get attention when it's my turn.

My life is hard.  People do weird things to me.  One wrong thought, and it could end up going just like that.  My dad made me think something I did not think later on, too, thinking I'd think it, anyway.

What should I have done?

I'm so sorry!

I guess I am wondering why my parents are being suggestive for someone nice.  Not to talk back at anyone, but it seems sneaky.  Like, everyone is just scared to be nice to me.  I'm not scared to be nice to me.  The suggestions make me wanna recluse from others.

You know, no one will think this is perfect.

Wah ah ah

I was trying so hard to be good, and if I get thrown off it's a big deal.

We aren't supposed to hover around the mention of my brother like that.

It's not nice of him to tease me and then claim he did it to make me look good.

Weird

So, my mom has delayed speech and thought.  I was all excited trying to be nice, and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.  D:

So, f..y.i.

My brother is a little crazy, not that it should matter for this, but like acts like he's all the things I'm not and don't wanna be.

I cannot tell you how upset I am.  My parents keep being suggestive.  Supposedly, someone nice told them to do it.  It's not working out.  It's making me feel bad.  Sure, you just look in and say walk away, but it don't work like that.  I just asked her, "Why?"  I'm telling you now why it's upsetting.  I don't wanna fight, but I feel that people are trying to make my life even worse.  GO GET A LIFE!  :|

So, my parents are being suggestive to me now and I'm not sure why.  It did make me upset.  I know what they really mean.  I already said I don't give a care about what old ladies think, "Ooh, a punishment must be related."  I didn't do anything.  At least not originally.  They are sending me those mean secret messages, again.  They think that I did something, but they did something.  It was even as silly as telling me to put something somewhere.  On my brother's chair.  He is nothing like me.  So, I asked, "Why?"  So what?  My mom was being a grump.  She keeps irritating me.  Also, she doesn't act excited when I come home, and I think someone made her do it.  Wow, doesn't matter.  She think she's all that.

I should just be happy.  I mean, it should like, how would you say it, "go over my head?"  I am so happy, but I wonder what that punishment thing is.  Cuz I'm fat?

Edit

Heading

Apologetic

It cleared the way for a good evening.

I guess I did the right thing.

I said I wasn't mad at someone.

I should have overcome.

Apology

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I'm a little stupid, like I'm running out of ammo or something.

These people in my room are so mean.  I was thinking that these messages must all be suggestions.  I don't like a bad relationship via my parents.

Please stop.

They have a "stupid question."  No, I don't mean anything against anyone.  I'm just saying what they're doing to me.  Trying to make me feel like I'm bad.

Sorry

My parents came in.  My mom was acting weird about my chicken I cut up.  Then, my dad, and I felt uncomfortable.  He understands that..

Problem

My mom was kidding around again, she's like "2 days" like I'm punished, acting dumbfounded.  My dad has a useless, annoying thing about 1 day he acts like.  I don't do anything.  If I don't wanna talk to my parents a certain way and too much is up to me.  So, I barely did anything, and my mom did that.  I live with them.  She was pretending she was being cute and that someone else told her to tell me that.

Someone just took a dump on me.  Threatened me again.  Bet it won't stop.  But they think someone said it I don't want to say it moreso.  No one cares about the wrong things others say.  I don't listen to it.  Why are you slowly giving me these messages?  It seems pointless for my life, at least.  My life was stolen from me 10 years..

Is this a slip of the tongue in the process?  It's not fun being tested like this by all these people.  I just said no, that's the answer.  You said  you were doing it just to test me.

So, to clarify

I have to say no to the marshmallow thing going on forever.  It's wrong, and I didn't curse at anyone nor get mad.  Well, maybe a bit upset.

I was wondering who all did it.  Supposedly, just happened.  It seems mean, even if you think I got upset in the wrong way for something else.  It's very annoying.  It's like it won't stop.  Everyone's doing it.

I would not think something silly like I am bad to say this.  I am merely reporting and giving my opinion.  It seems serious and important.  We just had to waste a few days.  So, what, that's life, right?

cont.

I noticed they don't act nice for the other person but are being mean to me now.  Like Heathens with their mouths open and teeth bared making hissing noises bouncing around.  Why do I keep seeing this image, anyway?  Right now, there are 3 or 4..

Chasing & Flooding

It seems if I post that someone did something they chase after me.  They keep on saying something.. rubbing it in.  It shouldn't be so.  It's about how in liking others that I already have 2 parents.. I also live with them.  I just wanted to report it.  I am not gonna fight or whatever.  Everyone knows it's wrong.  It was okay to say, but someone/people are incessantly threatening me.

Also, everyone keeps acting like I'm a marshmallow when I go out.  People were acting like I wasn't white at Christmas at the movies, and it was funny I figured they were all the s word, tho I wouldn't do it again unless I lost my mind or thought it was funny again for some unknown reason.  It probably reached other parts of the country and world.  So, I won't curse, but no I do not take that whoever started it.  People are uncomfortable.  I see there could be a reason, and I could let it slide.  I think it's a bit dangerous.  Is it for m********ing?  I'm sorry about that, but I mean that was supposedly a private thing, my therapist even told me.  Someone has to m********* and then something like this that has no ending known when I got out?


Also, last night I explained I didn't want anything against the person concerning the 1st thing.  I can't believe I don't go over and make sense to anyone.

Am I Mad

Not at the person I'm talking about.

I'm not mad at anyone I know of.

I just noticed I was being mistreated.  I can't get people to stop treating me like I'm not white for real, no matter who started it, and people won't leave me alone morally.

I can see that all the innocence is saved up for this person, whom I in a way have nothing against.  She just sits there, basically, and waits for her turn to build up while my life seems to be wasting away in that light.  Maybe, you can sleep on a stone floor, but I chose not to.  I'm not trying to make a fight with any person.  Why am I saying this?  Because it's important!  It's serious!  I'm not trying to fight.  I'm just talking like a normal person.  I was doing what you just did.  Trying to make a point using things that happen to be disagreeable.  It was a smart revelation that other people would like to talk about, maybe not you individually all of you.  Lotta people, tho.  I am not the odd one out who does not participate in the nature of my own problems.  I am sorry if I am just a failure and disagreeable.  I didn't say I was fighting..  I just mean it's good to notice.  It might even be important, and for some reason it can go on this blog.

Time to Talk?

There's this person who just goes online and says anything and it's okay.  I sit here putting up with this mess.

I found these people are literally taking a dump on me.  Oh, and they are threatening me.

Look, who's doing this new stuff now?  Whatever was said, I can see they are playing around on my part like bullies.  I realize everyone is against me and everyone knew about it.  What of it?  For this spinoff it was 2 things that made for an interesting way to continue a message.  They really are mean to me in private.  They are saying things in bad ways.  I don't wanna put up with this.  No one else does.   I'm just saying what they did and my opinion.  You already did what you did.  Now, they are teasing me for posting about this.  It's incessant.  You might think it's a simple message, but I have a dangerous person/people in my life.

How out of place..

to say "in my face?"  No, I obviously don't mean it that way if you happen to know anything about me.  I don't know what to do.  This is serious.

Why are you making me look bad?  You keep rubbing something in my face that's serious.  It wasn't right or this time was weirder/superfluous, but I don't wanna fight anyone, and I don't "dislike" anyone.

Point being.. I don't want to say anything out of place, whatever just happened.

So, here's to say sorry.  I guess the details were to identify the issue.

I think I'm at risk

I never get treated right.  I am at risk of thinking nothing matters, like morally.

Not trying to fight, but I mean what I mean.  If I have a hard time explaining something unimportant does not mean I will listen to old ladies that "it must be related" into trouble for me, like being in trouble.  This comes up with everything all the time.

I am officially worried.

I am being prodded about things that make me mad.  Anything could come.

They are attacking me again.  They won't stop!

I came up with that it's not some drama including me between my Gramma and people who don't know me well in my extended family.

My dad has destroyed my relationship opportunities.  Admit you fell for it.

Problems

THEY WON'T STOP.

They keep making my mouse show up the hourglass sign randomly.

Problem

THEY  KEEP BOTHERING ME.

They made a video not play right in the news on my tablet.

Problem

My dad was feeling bad and got so nasty in thoughts I had to leave the table and brought my "crackers" with me, my dried up Triscuits.

I was thinking for him to stop mediating my relationships.  Don't listen to other people on what to say to me.

I'm really sorry I was so mad and get so often confused and sometimes things come oue that shouldn't have been.  Please, find someone else to talk to you like.

I am sorry for my bad behavior.  I need to calm down and accept it but yea avoid it.

So

What you want me to talk to you?  Why are people doing all this disciplining on me?  My dad can't have done it.  And you're doing it for no good reason.

What are you doing?

This is not nice.  My dad supposedly didn't do it.

Important

This is an important blog to have.

Problem

I feel if I make one mistake for no good reason - and maybe it wasn't wrong - someone is over my shoulder silently cursing me.  I am constantly interacted with with these people for others's likings in a mean way.  They say they proved they care, but this is too much.  Cursing doesn't really help.

Apology

I don't mean to say someone is annoying so much as I feel uncomfortable about what they're doing, like others deserve to live but I don't because of the curse words I used but not like to disfigure their emotional sense of being.  I thought I was trying not to curse at them.  I see I have my parents online, but I was so worried I'd curse about someone not online.  It was like a safety buffer.  I eventually overcame it, but it took a long time or too long for its likings.

The people where I live are bothering, too.

These people watching me are really bothering me and so is another person who I don't know what they're doing in my life.

Someone is spreading apart liking things on my page like stalking me.  Another person from the experiment probably tho.

Now, someone made the big change dieting now.  My dad about to go all the way.  Yea right.

OK I know there are people out there bothering me.

Problem

Someone posted on Twitter early today, too, and sponsored a message from someone they are acting like is better that we have to remember or could, probably from someone else.  See, that is a problem.

So, they did it on purpose against me to annoy me, how pathetic.  What can you do about this?

I bet it's something creative to get something going.  This is a person in all of our lives's, tho.  Dunno why they would do that now and not before.

Well, what happened was..

..I didn't think I could keep on submitting to the illusions to someone hurting me and bossing me around.  I didn't really know what the thing was.  So, I just gave an innocent report, so I thought.  A little opinion but not crazy like in the kitchen.  I was probably from a friend and something to forget about concerning them..

Problem

They keep trying to talk to me every little chance I get.

Problem

They said I was not up with pleasure.  What is all this new taboo on me for?  You didn't say that would happen.

That's okay if you don't wanna talk to me.

I guess someone doesn't care if someone is insulting to them.

Last Night

My dad was tired.

What I thought was his prodding of this person being better I would not tolerate along with from someone else.  My life, my right.  How pathetic.  I said sorry, tho I did not need to in some/most all ways.

Wanna go back to bed.

Pathetic

I heard 1st I think my mom making a hysterical loud noises and I just came out the bathroom and heard my dad cough, home early.  Now, vaccuuming.  Leave me alone!

Yet again, those people are trying to talk to me via when my computer loads, in  mean way!

What should I do?

I didn't ask to talk about this.  I don't want be in trouble for telling.  I feel a responsibility.  I don't want this to be a thing going.  How can I stop this??  It's in it in nature.

Why post anything like that?  The opportunity to tell is not always at hand.  I guess it's the nature of things.  You're either at a message board or you're not.

Problem

The only reason I wouldn't tell would be inconvenience.  So, what?  People underneath are mean to me and yell, as well.  It just perked me up.  I don't like this trick.  I wanna watch some TV and go to bed!

Problem

They were obviously playing around and there are lots of things that go with this, but they made my computer take longer to shut down.  They also reminded me to turn on the TV.  They apparently got a person brought up.  They turned off the vent with a creepy, irritating personal message.  Look, I can say if something happened.  You already did it.  I'm not cursing at you or anything.  Why do I need to say?  Well, I can't say.  I just say.  Look, I won't bribe with anyone so you can feel lazy/lethargic/laid back.  I didn't like the 2nd message they gave me, too.  I don't believe it.  No one is gonna listen to people like that.  I'm sorry if that's your social oasis.  You can't just keep quiet for no reason.  It's about saying and doing the right things.  Silence can be a sin.  My internet went off, too.  Something happened again.  Look, I'm not trying to attack you.  I just wanna post something that in the end made me uncomfortable.  No one can tell people who love me what to do cuz they wanna mangle with the situation.  I can't get this to stop.  These are the signs you look for.  I didn't say anything wrong, but let me know what went wrong.  I say what happens.  There are no exceptions.  I didn't curse at anyone nor behave inapporpriately at least for the situation.  Can you explain to me when to be silent?  All I did was state the facts and add my opinion.  You can't live in fear.

If anyone wants to forget about me and needs a break is fine with me.

Have fun with the people you have fun with.

I am very sorry.

I want what makes you happy.

Most important..

..is also the people it could affect that if I talk to.

Amen.

Wow a complicated mess I got into tonight.  I'll have to get better at ignoring and not being crazy.  I can feel I've set myself that way, but why do these mistakes keep coming up?  I usually do have some consciousness for what's going on, but people want me to just go thru life doing nothing but smile.

There's seriously someone threatening to hurt people I know.

To Whom?

To those it must have bothered.

Apoogy

I don't know what to be sorry for except I could not help feeling crazy.  I do think about the wrong things people do, but I don't like to get into it in a bad way.  I feel someone put that in my mind.

So, sorry, for what, for being so crazy.  I did not mean to be mean, but I did recieve a mean message mixed with something important, which I find inappropriate.