About This Blog
Bear in mind, a lotta these posts are of interest to normal people. - This is my diary available online to get help from others. I never mean any harm. My thoughts may appear scattered at times, but I bring it together. Some things may not make sense to you..
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Worried
Do you still believe I had to have wanted to call someone s---? I was mad and said I'm not taking that s---. I didn't try to attack the person. They probably didn't do it. This is just like with Ellen. Besides, it's not like I'm still going. I was just mad when it happened. They had been bothering me. People are always getting at me like I did something.
Friday, March 13, 2015
IMDb - The Soapbox
I am being stalked.
I saw someone I loved from Australia online. The people experimenting on me were mean all week and I hit my sofa and some my table still. They wanted to ruin it for me and gave me this person on Facebook who thinks they're invited to partake in my life while rubbing in that they think I can't like that other person. This person is also from Australia.
https://www.facebook.com/rhonda.schwenn.5
https://www.facebook.com/rhonda.schwenn.5
What's the message?
Did they make it up for you?
I can't do something, but if I do it has to be tacky on the inside?
You know, I'm pretty sure you said that from someone else.
Why are we even thinking about stuff like that??
I can't do something, but if I do it has to be tacky on the inside?
You know, I'm pretty sure you said that from someone else.
Why are we even thinking about stuff like that??
I know you're coming in attacking me
for my dad cuz I was just minding my own business and felt steamed out and you was still going.
Then you'd say they were annoying me with clicks every time I fell asleep and acting close for the 1st time, teasing about when they did it in 2005.
I feel so sedated.
They are telling me I owe someone an apology. Nah ah, you do. Stop telling me what certain people do with me. They just can't keep quiet. No wonder I don't sleep well. What about the idea that someone did it? No apology happening about it. They're so bemused and monstrous, these people like experimenting on me.
So, yes I am sorry to that person but why would I be sorry to you so much?
I feel so sedated.
They are telling me I owe someone an apology. Nah ah, you do. Stop telling me what certain people do with me. They just can't keep quiet. No wonder I don't sleep well. What about the idea that someone did it? No apology happening about it. They're so bemused and monstrous, these people like experimenting on me.
So, yes I am sorry to that person but why would I be sorry to you so much?
Well, I was mad and just said to myself I wasn't dealing with this shit and couldn't seem to stop and separate people from that thought or one person was coming or they really did it, so I just didn't call them that or anything. I got mad at my dad putting on the Chinese. I really am not up for his inconvenience. You might think secretly and sneakily I am getting away with attacking my dad, but I was defending myself. :|
What's more important? That I "neva" get mad? Or what? Or admitting these people are mean? Why would they compensate and do me over with someone from the same country as someone I like just to erase it? Why would they do it if that's not the case? I don't mind some things at some times, but I have to say something.
Testing Me
Now, they wanna say I did something wrong and about what I was mad at.
I feel affected, and I don't like it.
I feel affected, and I don't like it.
STOP REPORTING LIES - STOP BOTHERING ME ABOUT THEM
What am I gonna do now? I was just upset. I dunno if I'm upset at someone, but I don't believe it's that someone's actual doing, which would be pretty bad. So, who did it?
You wanna know what happened, some of you? I just thought I didn't want this shit and I was too mad to think and was worried someone did it and it kinda overlapped, like this lady I've been talking about I don't chose to get close to who keeps coming back to me on Facebook when no one else does because I was mad one week I found out about a lady I liked in her country, Australia.
They keep rubbing my dad in, but I don't want a mess with him. We are not the best compatible, not that I am with anyone, but I don't wanna do this with him. You know, he's being mean about this. I don't have to have anything to do with him. Why do I feel my eyes popping outta my head?
What am I gonna do now? I was just upset. I dunno if I'm upset at someone, but I don't believe it's that someone's actual doing, which would be pretty bad. So, who did it?
You wanna know what happened, some of you? I just thought I didn't want this shit and I was too mad to think and was worried someone did it and it kinda overlapped, like this lady I've been talking about I don't chose to get close to who keeps coming back to me on Facebook when no one else does because I was mad one week I found out about a lady I liked in her country, Australia.
They keep rubbing my dad in, but I don't want a mess with him. We are not the best compatible, not that I am with anyone, but I don't wanna do this with him. You know, he's being mean about this. I don't have to have anything to do with him. Why do I feel my eyes popping outta my head?
I'll just make clear yes someone technically and rightfully can talk to who they want, but so can I. I was gonna say about them not talking to that other person, but I came to a different conclusion about how my rights are unfair. Hard to think of again, but you might be able to tell it easily or that there is an idea there.
I don't mean to be mean..
..I almost took it as a joke and just wanted to jot it down.
I see the signs, tho. Why do they keep bothering me?
I see the signs, tho. Why do they keep bothering me?
Issue
They are messing around again saying I can't have someone I like and instead all these other people are getting away with being inappropriate to me. They're being nitpicky about when they made me mad. They want to replace my mom being special to me or something, that general idea of "who your mom really is.."
Warning
My mom's nose got wider and bigger..
Warning? I meant abstractly just for her.
My nose is too wide, hope it doesn't get wider the rest of my life or something.
It happened after going somewhere with my dad awhile.
You know, he acts bemused and thinks if I do something wrong that it's not his fault, not someone else in the world's fault, but my mom's fault. That's far from right. In fact, she was too hard on me as little kid.
What am I missing? It gave me inspiration to write something on my real blog.
So.. :|
I don't think that makes sense. My dad probably thinks it's magic and that his mom told him to do it. My mom's nose getting wider? Nah. That's not okay. Maybe, she tried too hard to make it thin and that's why, just to know for comfort. Hopefully, she stays young and her nose gets better. I was upset someone in an office made my nose wider, and my Gramma changed it making a noise, too. I thought someone told them to do it. I didn't like that nor accept that it was okay.
So, sorry if I said anything not right. I hope we don't do any more hurting my mom if I do something, which my dad seems to have partially orchestrated. I can't prove anything else, maybe seems like this one other person I'm not naming..
Warning? I meant abstractly just for her.
My nose is too wide, hope it doesn't get wider the rest of my life or something.
It happened after going somewhere with my dad awhile.
You know, he acts bemused and thinks if I do something wrong that it's not his fault, not someone else in the world's fault, but my mom's fault. That's far from right. In fact, she was too hard on me as little kid.
What am I missing? It gave me inspiration to write something on my real blog.
So.. :|
I don't think that makes sense. My dad probably thinks it's magic and that his mom told him to do it. My mom's nose getting wider? Nah. That's not okay. Maybe, she tried too hard to make it thin and that's why, just to know for comfort. Hopefully, she stays young and her nose gets better. I was upset someone in an office made my nose wider, and my Gramma changed it making a noise, too. I thought someone told them to do it. I didn't like that nor accept that it was okay.
So, sorry if I said anything not right. I hope we don't do any more hurting my mom if I do something, which my dad seems to have partially orchestrated. I can't prove anything else, maybe seems like this one other person I'm not naming..
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Problem
They made my shopping icon a blank at the bottom of my taskbar. They are trying to make me think of something and punish me for something else. How annoying is that?
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Another Solution
Try not to be as harmful when I blow up on the inside.
Also, someone crashed me and a thought without much restraint came back to me.
Also, someone crashed me and a thought without much restraint came back to me.
Problems
Why did I get the message Ellen is mad at me for saying something?
My mom said in secret message about my possible future daughter, "There, I put her thru Hell." I think my dad made my possible future so go, "Whoah!"
Anyway, I moved in a way that attacked my mom back cuz I am sick as Hell of writing about all this crap. I was in the kitchen eating. She also was like, "There," like I didn't do anything. I already said I'm not doing this shit.
My mom said in secret message about my possible future daughter, "There, I put her thru Hell." I think my dad made my possible future so go, "Whoah!"
Anyway, I moved in a way that attacked my mom back cuz I am sick as Hell of writing about all this crap. I was in the kitchen eating. She also was like, "There," like I didn't do anything. I already said I'm not doing this shit.
Do you know about when people "just care about themselves?" Where did this come from? I know I don't matter. I don't think what I said makes no sense. I don't know how you cut up and dice thoughts. I feel it is a little inappropriate but for the "wrong" reasons. Supposedly, something I said was hurting someone's feelings, something that other people thought, too, like we were yelling at them. I said don't hold me to it and that it was an iffy topic. I had to put in much effort to go and change it up further.
How cruel of you to go in and pretend to make my possible future kids's noses stretched out to wide and dislocated from their faces? What are you?
How cruel of you to go in and pretend to make my possible future kids's noses stretched out to wide and dislocated from their faces? What are you?
So, you're mad..
..it's not because you're in a dilemma like my dad.
What someone did to me was very evil. It seemed to spread like wildfire.
I didn't know what I said was so serious, but what about the other people who get to do that? I bet even you all do that.
It still hurts. I can very well take it back, as I said, was just a thought and not put to words on my blog.
I feel a couple people have trapped me in a dungeon with no success in the world. It's like they threw me out there while I was still having a nightmare.
If what I said actually hurt this person, it makes it weird to me why she would hurt me in her own way. You all are against me and don't care who I am. Some of you all seem outspoken saying you said I was so great all my life but you take it back and say I'm tacky, shallow, ugly, and not smart. Maybe, this is proof? I guess the situation must have seemed overly serious. Before, I don't remember doing this. My dad may have been a negative influence. Maybe, my mom is the one who isn't negative? I feel we all have a negative side. I don't usually think of these things. My question was just what to do to see things in different ways, like what happened here. We still haven't answered that. I'm guessing other people are allowed to have those thoughts. They probably come in on purpose on a regular basis and for no reason. What about that person being mean to me? That was my release. I guess I'll do it natural now, but I think other people behind her back think that serves her right. I hope it doesn't happen like this in the future, but I do have proof people are saying people deserve d**** who are mean to me. I can't get mad cuz I know they are trying to temporarily stick up for me. So, that's another confusing thing that happens. I've never wanted to wish d**** on anyone. I think I saw that no one cares about other people wishing d**** on someone but still my problem is bad, like maybe one day it would be that just like that. I feel this is a bit uptight and picky to make a big deal on something without thinking about actually solving it. The point is to see what matters, how someone's feelings really are. It seems like it's to make sure someone, myself, gets it, as in being made to feel bad and punished. Maybe, that's important. It seems tho that people don't treat me right and will make me upset in some other way again. With this other stuff that's been done to me, I won't simply sweep it under the rug nor out the door. I feel I'm just constantly being tested, now to venerate this person. I'll get into that in another topic.
So, I'm sorry and I certainly was ready to take it back. I just wanted to know why other people can threat d**** and I can't seem to do anything but be placed down under, while I worry about being responsible for someone else being framed to look gaudy.
I hope people out there are feeling okay/alright. I understand, some of ya'll aren't, but neither am I. I feel uncomfortable with my parents/dad here in Orlando. I don't know what's happening right now/next. My dad is strangely in a better mood. I hope he's alright. He needs to hit the gym is what he needs to do.
So, I hope I don't cause trouble too much if at all, hopefully not. Hope things are all going well for you all. I hope this is a helpful alleviator and look into what not to do, which I figured out. I just needed to not rest on a false idea. I need to keep thinking to know where I'm really at, without creating trouble. I can avoid it, as well. I can try to take care of other people's issues, like making someone else look stuck up.
So, I hope this has helped.
What someone did to me was very evil. It seemed to spread like wildfire.
I didn't know what I said was so serious, but what about the other people who get to do that? I bet even you all do that.
It still hurts. I can very well take it back, as I said, was just a thought and not put to words on my blog.
I feel a couple people have trapped me in a dungeon with no success in the world. It's like they threw me out there while I was still having a nightmare.
If what I said actually hurt this person, it makes it weird to me why she would hurt me in her own way. You all are against me and don't care who I am. Some of you all seem outspoken saying you said I was so great all my life but you take it back and say I'm tacky, shallow, ugly, and not smart. Maybe, this is proof? I guess the situation must have seemed overly serious. Before, I don't remember doing this. My dad may have been a negative influence. Maybe, my mom is the one who isn't negative? I feel we all have a negative side. I don't usually think of these things. My question was just what to do to see things in different ways, like what happened here. We still haven't answered that. I'm guessing other people are allowed to have those thoughts. They probably come in on purpose on a regular basis and for no reason. What about that person being mean to me? That was my release. I guess I'll do it natural now, but I think other people behind her back think that serves her right. I hope it doesn't happen like this in the future, but I do have proof people are saying people deserve d**** who are mean to me. I can't get mad cuz I know they are trying to temporarily stick up for me. So, that's another confusing thing that happens. I've never wanted to wish d**** on anyone. I think I saw that no one cares about other people wishing d**** on someone but still my problem is bad, like maybe one day it would be that just like that. I feel this is a bit uptight and picky to make a big deal on something without thinking about actually solving it. The point is to see what matters, how someone's feelings really are. It seems like it's to make sure someone, myself, gets it, as in being made to feel bad and punished. Maybe, that's important. It seems tho that people don't treat me right and will make me upset in some other way again. With this other stuff that's been done to me, I won't simply sweep it under the rug nor out the door. I feel I'm just constantly being tested, now to venerate this person. I'll get into that in another topic.
So, I'm sorry and I certainly was ready to take it back. I just wanted to know why other people can threat d**** and I can't seem to do anything but be placed down under, while I worry about being responsible for someone else being framed to look gaudy.
I hope people out there are feeling okay/alright. I understand, some of ya'll aren't, but neither am I. I feel uncomfortable with my parents/dad here in Orlando. I don't know what's happening right now/next. My dad is strangely in a better mood. I hope he's alright. He needs to hit the gym is what he needs to do.
So, I hope I don't cause trouble too much if at all, hopefully not. Hope things are all going well for you all. I hope this is a helpful alleviator and look into what not to do, which I figured out. I just needed to not rest on a false idea. I need to keep thinking to know where I'm really at, without creating trouble. I can avoid it, as well. I can try to take care of other people's issues, like making someone else look stuck up.
So, I hope this has helped.
My dad does whatever comes up to his mom, and she thinks if something happens around something else "it must be re-L-ated."
My dad was thinking of something I do with someone I like and acting mean with his arm and I just happened to think of like a cartoon cutting off his arm. I didn't say anything nor at like much nor was he to be looking at me.
Later, last night, he came walking from far away, I think like he was all that coming to rescue me, then made me stimulated in that part and closed his bathroom door.
My dad was thinking of something I do with someone I like and acting mean with his arm and I just happened to think of like a cartoon cutting off his arm. I didn't say anything nor at like much nor was he to be looking at me.
Later, last night, he came walking from far away, I think like he was all that coming to rescue me, then made me stimulated in that part and closed his bathroom door.
Problem
How is it spreading around that I'm bad cuz I hit something every day for a week when I was into being cool like Ellen with short blonde hair? I am not gonna live without that cool stuff. I earned it. My hitting, so what, I was in my room, it was my sofa you were mad about hitting. You don't have the right to ruin my life. What's so bad about that? I was mad at people.
I also just heard a commercial where someone acted like they imagined me mad at counselors at my community college. It was so long and ranting.
I have lost respect for the things that are done against me by others who supposedly are caring.
You know, I just think you can't do that and that this situation is nothing like what you fabricate it to be. I can't wait to see you lose it and get moody, again, yourself. Why were you guys at me?!
I also just heard a commercial where someone acted like they imagined me mad at counselors at my community college. It was so long and ranting.
I have lost respect for the things that are done against me by others who supposedly are caring.
You know, I just think you can't do that and that this situation is nothing like what you fabricate it to be. I can't wait to see you lose it and get moody, again, yourself. Why were you guys at me?!
Threats
I feel the topic of me d*ing is touched on in secret message by my dad and someone else. Like, "Life's short."
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Problem
As I turned my computer off, I realized they had made the wait symbol on a still page and made a movement for a personal flair, fyi probably someone else thinking they can be my mom instead because I need an older mom but in a bad way, like I "need" it. I dunno, I was going to watch TV, and it bothered me. They'll do something else again, but at least you know they're doing it. I know why they do it again, too. Someone wants it like that.
Also, it takes awhile to load the page to post to my blog, and I don't know why.
Also, it takes awhile to load the page to post to my blog, and I don't know why.
Pathetic
My dad reached over and said I couldn't do something in a relationship with someone secretly and I automatically thought of a carton version of cutting it off. He did it on purpose to copy his mom's strategy. I kept thinking of him to leave me alone with his problems always testing me by insulting me in secret message, acting now like the experimenters do stuff for him and "it's okay." He has nasty thoughts about people who really nice to me.
So, what is his problem? Is it pathetically that one thing I did when I was 11? That's not okay. I want my life back. I don't want him in it like that like before.
So, what is his problem? Is it pathetically that one thing I did when I was 11? That's not okay. I want my life back. I don't want him in it like that like before.
Another Joke
It's sad to joke about something like being a daughter. I should not be too important, but sometimes he initiates weird thoughts for some reason, that don't make sense, like I'm important but I think I'm not.
Wai Wai Wait
I walk in everyone beats me up emotionally and if one bad word flares up as an idea I can't have something? How is that to treat a lady?
Monday, March 9, 2015
I'm sorry you saw me vicious, but you might see me get upset again. I was just upset at having to report all these things and was also confused as to solving the original problem of everyone else saying people deserve d**** for what they did. Are you afraid I'd go down that route? I'm not. I just felt offended and the thought came up. Maybe, I shouldn't have said I meant it. I did temper the idea and do it on myself. I dunno what to do. I can't just go around never thinking of anything that isn't just "happy happy joy joy." This is where some of you people out there have a real problem. This is what happened. It's like I said later, something came up and the negativity made me feel at ease tho I didn't mean it, was worthless. Just like a settling thought ot end. Sorry! I did ask for help..
I keep getting strangers who seem to communicate with people experimenting on me. The 1st person who added me on this Google account is holding an ice cream cone like someone else was trying to look like someone but sending a mean message. It made me think of something funny I think other people liked. I was reluctant to put in this excessing effort to explain what happened to me. It upsets me who mighta done these things, like I'm not important and someone else is more important in a strange way. I dunno what was strange about it. I think it's a Middle Eastern person, too. I think it's the fact that it's a normal person involved and it's the only person in my Google circle. I feel made fun of. So what if I thought of something funny when someone was mean anyway? It seemed like it needed to get out and other people do it, not to you, but between us! I've even said that at the top of this blog. I don't mean to be mean, but sometimes I'm not about some things. I was worried why it seemed to make sense. I just am getting irritated at anything from the experiment, preventing me from succeeding probably due to my dad. I don't like how I am being held trapped by these mean people. I don't have any privacy. They'll start clicking. Good for you. I wonder if you "can't take a joke." I dunno, I just noticed something and needed it because it was so mean. I don't really get it. It's not the fact that it's unsettling that makes me upset. I just heard a noise, too. I feel that my dad is making it so I can't function. Also, we all need a little joke and it was not for you. So, see if anyone can figure that out, a better alternative? Don't you laugh at me a lot? You do wrong things to me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but I think maybe they are looking for too much pity from me. So, I was already sorry and played the joke on myself. Other people joke about d**** and get away with it. It was more how I saw the mistake part. It wasn't to hurt a tender spot or something. I feel something bad coming on. People just judge me and hurt me. What's wrong now? Is it something from the past? Did you want an explanation? I just am kinda fed up, maybe with this person.. So, I am sorry if anything was wrong. Something wrong was done to me. I was merely dealing with it. I just heard another noise that says I can't have my race, if it's French part of it.. Look, I'm not listening to this. I don't need to say it over and over again. I'll post this somewhere. As I was saying, it was not intended to hurt anyone and they were not who the release was for, but sorry and if anyone can fix it would be nice. I thought that when I thought that. Sorry!
How do you feel about k***ing people
just to annoy me?
I am sorry I must have offended suggesting people believed someone k***ed people.
They're being testy to me now about k***ing another old person.
You are bad, did you know that? You have no right to do this to me.
Quit lying, I can say that this person has been creeping me out or others saying that people secretly d** for them, whoever had them do it. These deaths in Hollywood are suspicious. Something must be going on.
I am not a waste. You can't say I grew up trasing my life. You're just being sarcastic. You threw away my life, teachers and my parents. You made school worthless, and your kids are doing worthless things to me and saying I started this and I started that.
I just came to apologize, not collect you never ceasing unfairness to me cuz you're just racist and irratical.
Don't tell me I did anything. They just blurted out a date, too. What if I thought of it then? This never happened before. You said that to think it on that date.
Quit pushing me over and manipulating my life. You've all done some bad things to me and apparently others. You're not there for me. No one is. I'm stuck with what I don't like and people acting all warbly and unsure around me all the time making me feel bad, interfering my life with my crazy dad. Leave him alone. I don't know why he changes from good to bad. This has gotta stop.
I posted this to ask what people feel about like having old people die at a certain time to send a message. Also, the deaths in Hollywood. It's like they all moved to some secret place or with aliens. I'm not quitting this world.
I am sorry I must have offended suggesting people believed someone k***ed people.
They're being testy to me now about k***ing another old person.
You are bad, did you know that? You have no right to do this to me.
Quit lying, I can say that this person has been creeping me out or others saying that people secretly d** for them, whoever had them do it. These deaths in Hollywood are suspicious. Something must be going on.
I am not a waste. You can't say I grew up trasing my life. You're just being sarcastic. You threw away my life, teachers and my parents. You made school worthless, and your kids are doing worthless things to me and saying I started this and I started that.
I just came to apologize, not collect you never ceasing unfairness to me cuz you're just racist and irratical.
Don't tell me I did anything. They just blurted out a date, too. What if I thought of it then? This never happened before. You said that to think it on that date.
Quit pushing me over and manipulating my life. You've all done some bad things to me and apparently others. You're not there for me. No one is. I'm stuck with what I don't like and people acting all warbly and unsure around me all the time making me feel bad, interfering my life with my crazy dad. Leave him alone. I don't know why he changes from good to bad. This has gotta stop.
I posted this to ask what people feel about like having old people die at a certain time to send a message. Also, the deaths in Hollywood. It's like they all moved to some secret place or with aliens. I'm not quitting this world.
You know what really bothered me.
My dad seemed mad, or I just guessed he was.. I think I guessed right. :o
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Feeling Bad But Better
I don't feel m*****ed after eating. Too bad I said so much, but it was hard to describe. I hope it's for the better. It is a Problems blog, after all. I didn't try to be nasty. I foresee more in the future.
I don't mean to be mean but I really felt m*****ed.
I know this person is not as personal but attempts to touch all of me in a way I don't like anyone to. I don't like the judgements that are placed on me that I'm just like my mom or something and there to be played with like a toy cuz I'm not like that.
And if you have a big problem how was I so so rude unjustifiably? I just said the kinds of phrases most say. I am being totally insulted by someone to feel stimulated in hatred.
I know this person is not as personal but attempts to touch all of me in a way I don't like anyone to. I don't like the judgements that are placed on me that I'm just like my mom or something and there to be played with like a toy cuz I'm not like that.
And if you have a big problem how was I so so rude unjustifiably? I just said the kinds of phrases most say. I am being totally insulted by someone to feel stimulated in hatred.
People won't stop messing with me. Sometimes, I don't wanna feel something from someone and it's insulting. I am also getting immature death threats in secret message.
This is important. I feel r**** or m*******. It wasn't like this before. I feel threatened it will happen no matter what I do or where I go, my parents will follow me, my strange dad. What's wrong with him?? It's just important. I'm not making fun of anyone.
This is important. I feel r**** or m*******. It wasn't like this before. I feel threatened it will happen no matter what I do or where I go, my parents will follow me, my strange dad. What's wrong with him?? It's just important. I'm not making fun of anyone.
When Evil Does It
I thought of something bad sorta on autopilot to my dad. I don't mean it, but it helped quell my anger. Same about the people experimenting on me but not as bad. I'm very sorry and would like real help to get better, not "I can't be happy/okay about myself for a day." That will happen every day by accident if I'm treated so badly.
They are acting mean but like someone, too, which is the thing they started when I woke up and was waiting for breakfast. I said not to fight me and not to invade my life, but they refuse to listen. They again think they have something on me, but I think/feel I have something on them for sending mean secret messages. On my Facebook page, I said, "Please speak now or forever hold your peace." No one cares nor finds it, I bet. All I did was take off an outlet of them for communicating to me annoyingly that was unrelated. So what? I didn't do anything I shouldn't have. They did.. I did even take that back! At least the anger of it.
They are acting mean but like someone, too, which is the thing they started when I woke up and was waiting for breakfast. I said not to fight me and not to invade my life, but they refuse to listen. They again think they have something on me, but I think/feel I have something on them for sending mean secret messages. On my Facebook page, I said, "Please speak now or forever hold your peace." No one cares nor finds it, I bet. All I did was take off an outlet of them for communicating to me annoyingly that was unrelated. So what? I didn't do anything I shouldn't have. They did.. I did even take that back! At least the anger of it.
I figured maybe I was being punished partially via giving attention to someone else. I hope my mom did not just k*** me. Okay, so I was not okay with it. But I was gonna try and accept that people do this. Maybe, someday, it won't be this way or someone else won't have to do it. It's fine to pay a lotta attention to others, of course. What else can you say? I just think it does seem a bit heroes-skelter. I wish we could just be normal and not have this underlying drama. Some of it does not make sense, like the way the people who run The Voice are.
I say one day not like this, but I do want the person to be active in her desires or in the world and my life.
I say one day not like this, but I do want the person to be active in her desires or in the world and my life.
I am upset at what it is, and they acted like it's my Gramma again saying "it must be re-Lated." Well, it's not okay. And yes that's the message I got from her. Now, what's relating? Stop making fun of me like it's some big, interesting exchange of drama where I'm bemusedly in trouble suddenly to perfect your world. I'm here to get thru to what needs to be gotten thru to. Not to be superstitious.
I see I'm being teased and called s*** by my mom in secret message. I figured out what it really said, that we need to la dee da follow me around when I iconize someone and give full reign to a certain person. It's the la dee da that doesn't make sense. I will not accept it as punishment for cursing about noises in my room, so I hope that's not what it is for you all but think it is in a way for some. So..tell me why I should be sorry and no one else should take back what they did to me. I don't need someone marring the rest of my life because of their being uptight and hating of life. Come on, I need to be able to deal with this.
Why is my mom keep on insulting me? What kinda mom is that? Is she crazy?
I know who did this just makes fun of what I do for fun like what I say means nothing. Why is this life for me? Why is this so easy to talk about?
And no, as my mom asked, what I get does not automatically go to someone else.
She just pulled out the laundry thing loudly and I am worried it could eventually injure me, her taking out anger of her cancer on me! Thanks to you others who actually don't care and did it! You are mean to me! I felt something in my brain. I feel threatened of I make a sudden move to get her back and show her who's in charge of me. I don't have the city to fall back on..
I don't wanna be that close to these people, my parents. I didn't try to be. It's sick. Some other people are kinda like this. Sometimes they make one side stimulated like they're getting back and saying I'm shit for telling someone my skin was 2 different colors. That's just what they're doing, I'm not in spite at the people I told for that.
My mom keeps waltzing around insulting me like this person means all that and I mean nothing, what she's doing is all I'm saying. She is just a spiteful, crazy, blaming lady who is convinced she is perfect.
And stop suggesting things to me like maybe I want someone else to take her place, especially someone who's rubbed in in a way I don't like. You already know I don't like that and are k***ing me.
She keeps making noises in secret message that are really mean.
I will not be governed by my parents nor someone else saying everything I do goes to someone else. I make my own achievements. I am not spoiled and a brat.. No offense to anyone, but would you mind? You know what you all done in my past? I have several reasons for not liking this. I don't wanna do this so you "have my dad's back" etc. I don't do it cuz I know it's just an insult inserting this person's name.
I'm not saying my mom is just a bad person. She just has a hard time. I don't believe most people can just be bad. Maybe, they are moral slobs with just someone like me, tho, which also makes me not wanna believe it.
What have I done? I don't work?? I'm trying to be a performing artist. You don't even want me back in college much less think I could work a minimum wage job when I am used to desk work. The medicines made me go over the cliff. How will i get better now? I don't like being stuck in my room with my parents about the house. I wanted a career or some way to function living with them, but I can't have that. It seems I should stay here for now, but I used to tell people college was bad and asked about their getting higher degrees but about my decision to spend time with my parents and live at home. I did go to college here at first but stopped after I failed after a lotta work at an easy community college. I don't have a note to get back in, neither, and it's the easy college. I wanna go back and study online. Summer is coming up and I can't go to Disney then.
I've been trying to respect everyone, but I am apalled at what I keep getting back from someone. I feel people find me apalling, as well for being a bit overweight. You don't do that to everyone who's overweight. I think someone or some people helped make that someone apall me, as in like disappoint and "hurt my feelings" if you know what that means you all still.. Life is coming to an end for some of us and for others it's just at its peak of responsibility. Obviously, I don't like how time flew these past 10 years and how hectic it was. I don't know what needs to happen. I'm just saying. You can say that you've become cooler as time went on. I am upset about death myself, but people die by accident. We probably have souls in the afterlife. I'm quite sure. There are always other things to do.. Look, I'm just trying to talk things out some. My mom was kinda hurting me really, like it's cool, like someone agreed she should get back and fight me for "what" I said and "what" I've done. People here and in other places attack me. I can't get back at them. I won't take this s***, tho.
To close off, I just am trying to lead an okay life. Look, there's an explanation for everything. "Look on the bright side." Heard of or remember that??
Why is my mom keep on insulting me? What kinda mom is that? Is she crazy?
I know who did this just makes fun of what I do for fun like what I say means nothing. Why is this life for me? Why is this so easy to talk about?
And no, as my mom asked, what I get does not automatically go to someone else.
She just pulled out the laundry thing loudly and I am worried it could eventually injure me, her taking out anger of her cancer on me! Thanks to you others who actually don't care and did it! You are mean to me! I felt something in my brain. I feel threatened of I make a sudden move to get her back and show her who's in charge of me. I don't have the city to fall back on..
I don't wanna be that close to these people, my parents. I didn't try to be. It's sick. Some other people are kinda like this. Sometimes they make one side stimulated like they're getting back and saying I'm shit for telling someone my skin was 2 different colors. That's just what they're doing, I'm not in spite at the people I told for that.
My mom keeps waltzing around insulting me like this person means all that and I mean nothing, what she's doing is all I'm saying. She is just a spiteful, crazy, blaming lady who is convinced she is perfect.
And stop suggesting things to me like maybe I want someone else to take her place, especially someone who's rubbed in in a way I don't like. You already know I don't like that and are k***ing me.
She keeps making noises in secret message that are really mean.
I will not be governed by my parents nor someone else saying everything I do goes to someone else. I make my own achievements. I am not spoiled and a brat.. No offense to anyone, but would you mind? You know what you all done in my past? I have several reasons for not liking this. I don't wanna do this so you "have my dad's back" etc. I don't do it cuz I know it's just an insult inserting this person's name.
I'm not saying my mom is just a bad person. She just has a hard time. I don't believe most people can just be bad. Maybe, they are moral slobs with just someone like me, tho, which also makes me not wanna believe it.
What have I done? I don't work?? I'm trying to be a performing artist. You don't even want me back in college much less think I could work a minimum wage job when I am used to desk work. The medicines made me go over the cliff. How will i get better now? I don't like being stuck in my room with my parents about the house. I wanted a career or some way to function living with them, but I can't have that. It seems I should stay here for now, but I used to tell people college was bad and asked about their getting higher degrees but about my decision to spend time with my parents and live at home. I did go to college here at first but stopped after I failed after a lotta work at an easy community college. I don't have a note to get back in, neither, and it's the easy college. I wanna go back and study online. Summer is coming up and I can't go to Disney then.
I've been trying to respect everyone, but I am apalled at what I keep getting back from someone. I feel people find me apalling, as well for being a bit overweight. You don't do that to everyone who's overweight. I think someone or some people helped make that someone apall me, as in like disappoint and "hurt my feelings" if you know what that means you all still.. Life is coming to an end for some of us and for others it's just at its peak of responsibility. Obviously, I don't like how time flew these past 10 years and how hectic it was. I don't know what needs to happen. I'm just saying. You can say that you've become cooler as time went on. I am upset about death myself, but people die by accident. We probably have souls in the afterlife. I'm quite sure. There are always other things to do.. Look, I'm just trying to talk things out some. My mom was kinda hurting me really, like it's cool, like someone agreed she should get back and fight me for "what" I said and "what" I've done. People here and in other places attack me. I can't get back at them. I won't take this s***, tho.
To close off, I just am trying to lead an okay life. Look, there's an explanation for everything. "Look on the bright side." Heard of or remember that??
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Wait a minute!
I'm the one who had a college debt, and you're the ones who relocated so I have to fly on vacation.
You can't make me unhealthy because school is impossible. I needed those walks. They might have been excessive seeming in your opinion, but I seemed to have no time and was only taking general studies. It was over before it began. Someone should have told me to withdraw because I was wondering if I'd get anything out of it. Also, I was in the experiment. You never accepted that so you can roll over and press the button on the alarm clock to not go off. I'm not trying to be mean.. Don't assume I'm sarcastic in an evil way. Also, I did ballet and things were going good there in some ways. That was my minor. I don't know why honors is easier! What is wrong with the school systems in Louisiana!! Should I have been at LSU in Baton Rouge steada New Orleans?? I'm bout to go back up north once I complete the AA in the Common Curriculum, "AA - General Studies." Maybe.
So, the reason the experiment got in the way was cuz I was programmed for a break and a nice life and then it wasn't there, a world without work. You threw me off my singing and music studies with the experiment!!!!
I'm not yelling..
You can't make me unhealthy because school is impossible. I needed those walks. They might have been excessive seeming in your opinion, but I seemed to have no time and was only taking general studies. It was over before it began. Someone should have told me to withdraw because I was wondering if I'd get anything out of it. Also, I was in the experiment. You never accepted that so you can roll over and press the button on the alarm clock to not go off. I'm not trying to be mean.. Don't assume I'm sarcastic in an evil way. Also, I did ballet and things were going good there in some ways. That was my minor. I don't know why honors is easier! What is wrong with the school systems in Louisiana!! Should I have been at LSU in Baton Rouge steada New Orleans?? I'm bout to go back up north once I complete the AA in the Common Curriculum, "AA - General Studies." Maybe.
So, the reason the experiment got in the way was cuz I was programmed for a break and a nice life and then it wasn't there, a world without work. You threw me off my singing and music studies with the experiment!!!!
I'm not yelling..
What I Am Thought As
My dad thought I was bad cuza flunking college - now whose fault is that? The schools I went to. I was the Valedictorian in 8th grade and kept a 4.0 most of high school..
After I said they can't go in and affect my life, they went in and said I could not have fun with the people watching me. I just said you can't come in my life and trim the good things off every once in awhile for no real good reason.
It is vague what they really just did, but I don't think I wanna ever think about such a waste as this. I'm not being mean saying the word "waste" and it is not a curse word nor buzz word.
It is vague what they really just did, but I don't think I wanna ever think about such a waste as this. I'm not being mean saying the word "waste" and it is not a curse word nor buzz word.
Regarding me being upset specifically, you can't take away things from me, a good woman at age 28. All I did was say something to counter the mean treatment. I am not listening to you like you're the boss. You're barely a part of my life and can't just come in at your own convenience to hurt me emotionally and socially. I'm not letting that happen. I don't wanna fight you. I just want this to stop. These people keep talking to me in private, I know, and who knows what my dad will get involved in. I don't like what he did.
You're the one who attacked, and I think you're something like punished yourself. I didn't punish you, but you accept punishment from people other than me. I will not let things slide by like this on some days. My life is on a strict moral regiment. It'll be over before I know it, which must be partially happy news for you. Who knows, maybe ya'll even think it should end soon. That's the feeling I got from my dad, who's being like a guy who doesn't practice self-control in social life in secret, like you can't say oh he did this or that. He does it in secret message.
This is getting a bit painstaking if I have to talk about anything else much longer.
You're the one who attacked, and I think you're something like punished yourself. I didn't punish you, but you accept punishment from people other than me. I will not let things slide by like this on some days. My life is on a strict moral regiment. It'll be over before I know it, which must be partially happy news for you. Who knows, maybe ya'll even think it should end soon. That's the feeling I got from my dad, who's being like a guy who doesn't practice self-control in social life in secret, like you can't say oh he did this or that. He does it in secret message.
This is getting a bit painstaking if I have to talk about anything else much longer.
Maybe, I feared for the wrong person on the wrong side at the wrong time? I guess my dad is a danger and you were trying to deflect that. He has no right to pretend to punish me and acting like he didn't, like acting threateningly on a whim that I can't visit relatives up north. I know if I listened, he'd go more on a tangent telling me what to do when he can't. I wanted to go up north with him a few times but chickened out. He didn't force me to go, tho, nor say then that anything was wrong. You know, he almost pushed his oldest younger sister off a counter or table or something when she was a baby. I feel iffy about if she thinks I'm being a good person in the secret messages via the experiment where people watch me and talk to me with little noises in my room and things.
OK, I'll just talk about it.
I notice you think you can come in my life and have people beat me for you to take away the things I like as a punishment when that isn't right, I'm too old for that, and I didn't do anyththing.
They attacked me and are getting back at me, like they're fighting. Problems happen all the time. How is this fair to me to clog up my life like this and make up things about what I really meant and when I take back things that seem to not have the desired effect or something?
I just don't see what's so fun about holding onto something that didn't happen.
Why is me saying this a deterrent?
I just don't see what's so fun about holding onto something that didn't happen.
Why is me saying this a deterrent?
Friday, March 6, 2015
Disagreement
Someone is being more disagreeable with me, like she has something to get back at. I said not to fight with me.
Issues of The Day
Before I go off and shower, I thought I'd leave the bait like animal who sits and waits for its prey!
My dream would be that people would possibly and and talk to me, but I know this gets out and people I know can read it and might think about it for when they see me.
Okay, 1st off, I'm not up for believing I am in trouble and am not sure what's going on. I do know that I cursed about the noises in my room, but a lotta people curse people out even.
I'm sorry about the complaining about someone. I'll try and not have that happen with anyone, no debating or anything. :/ Lotta other people have their say and the other has no strength to come back. People just attack me for no reason. They're all vague and pointing fingers around in the air.
I got wind of a yes or no from someone gyping me to look silly even talking about it. I will not live in a non-Democracy with this person risen to the top up to no good. See, can't I say that and not have someone take it the wrong way? What I mean is I don't need to be told I'm not all that and that supposedly I am now like everyone else when I don't wanna be. I know it's not good to bring up those things, but here it is. Maybe, this is just rubbish. I can't say nothing has been happening. It should not get in the way of my life, wondering if mentioning it in some way possible is okay. I can't make it seem all positive, and obviously neither can that person.
What else? My dad started driving to bonk my head on the way home. My speech was slurred after that. Um.. My dad never does that.
Yea, so my mom has been seeming like upset I made her sick. I think Orlando is the ultimate cause.
Um.. Sometimes, we think of funny things that make you think of things that you should not think just because of it.
About the car, someone else was in on it with my dad, so I don't know. It's probably a lotta people.
Also, why is my relationship off and on about someone else, like something that doesn't need to happen? I don't find this person to be totally with it. They seem a bit weird. More specifically, I find them other things I cannot describe. I posted something on my Facebook I can't find. I remember kinda what it was. I don't know if it's worth trying to explain. I'm upset I can't find it. Well, the person deleted it. I can't find it. She is being kinda unfriendly now because others made her. Now, that is not acceptable at all. What you think I am? I did find this person is trying to keep others from getting attention and for no good reason. Someone else may do this, but still same opinion. Why do I get the feeling people wanna play a game and say I'm insignificant and puny? I just try to be nice, but this person is trashing my dignity and reputation. I never started anything with this person. This person is becoming an adult. I don't mind if she has nothing to do with me for her own decision and good. I don't like other people totally cancelling out to the point that it's bad stuff against me, like "I'm getting attention that way." I see people are watching out to make sure everything she does can be better than me and that I become worse. Apparently, however, it's hard and they're having trouble. I mean, being snide is not nice. It's not right to chase me down like that. Like to make sure I become bad and sad when I try not to already even. That's not what's going on. Everyone is different, and there are ways you could be just like me but better, maybe, without bothering me. See, you don't even wanna be like me.
Well, for now that seems to suffice. I care about everyone and I care about people in need, as well. I will try to alter my life to become more aware of what I can be aware of, which will lead to other things.
If you want attention, reach for your dreams. We all can try and figure something out where we win.
My dream would be that people would possibly and and talk to me, but I know this gets out and people I know can read it and might think about it for when they see me.
Okay, 1st off, I'm not up for believing I am in trouble and am not sure what's going on. I do know that I cursed about the noises in my room, but a lotta people curse people out even.
I'm sorry about the complaining about someone. I'll try and not have that happen with anyone, no debating or anything. :/ Lotta other people have their say and the other has no strength to come back. People just attack me for no reason. They're all vague and pointing fingers around in the air.
I got wind of a yes or no from someone gyping me to look silly even talking about it. I will not live in a non-Democracy with this person risen to the top up to no good. See, can't I say that and not have someone take it the wrong way? What I mean is I don't need to be told I'm not all that and that supposedly I am now like everyone else when I don't wanna be. I know it's not good to bring up those things, but here it is. Maybe, this is just rubbish. I can't say nothing has been happening. It should not get in the way of my life, wondering if mentioning it in some way possible is okay. I can't make it seem all positive, and obviously neither can that person.
What else? My dad started driving to bonk my head on the way home. My speech was slurred after that. Um.. My dad never does that.
Yea, so my mom has been seeming like upset I made her sick. I think Orlando is the ultimate cause.
Um.. Sometimes, we think of funny things that make you think of things that you should not think just because of it.
About the car, someone else was in on it with my dad, so I don't know. It's probably a lotta people.
Also, why is my relationship off and on about someone else, like something that doesn't need to happen? I don't find this person to be totally with it. They seem a bit weird. More specifically, I find them other things I cannot describe. I posted something on my Facebook I can't find. I remember kinda what it was. I don't know if it's worth trying to explain. I'm upset I can't find it. Well, the person deleted it. I can't find it. She is being kinda unfriendly now because others made her. Now, that is not acceptable at all. What you think I am? I did find this person is trying to keep others from getting attention and for no good reason. Someone else may do this, but still same opinion. Why do I get the feeling people wanna play a game and say I'm insignificant and puny? I just try to be nice, but this person is trashing my dignity and reputation. I never started anything with this person. This person is becoming an adult. I don't mind if she has nothing to do with me for her own decision and good. I don't like other people totally cancelling out to the point that it's bad stuff against me, like "I'm getting attention that way." I see people are watching out to make sure everything she does can be better than me and that I become worse. Apparently, however, it's hard and they're having trouble. I mean, being snide is not nice. It's not right to chase me down like that. Like to make sure I become bad and sad when I try not to already even. That's not what's going on. Everyone is different, and there are ways you could be just like me but better, maybe, without bothering me. See, you don't even wanna be like me.
Well, for now that seems to suffice. I care about everyone and I care about people in need, as well. I will try to alter my life to become more aware of what I can be aware of, which will lead to other things.
If you want attention, reach for your dreams. We all can try and figure something out where we win.
My Reaction
I was sad and upset and don't really wanna hear from untamed people what they think of the word I thought of someone used. They were messing with my mind, like I couldn't ignore it. Sure, you can reassure someone else that they are loved, not really a punishment and I don't need one..
I know you like a check in.
2 things.
I thought of a word someone used, and my mom wants to mess with our relationship with a creative excuse. I don't even care about that word. She was messing up my thoughts and tho she fed it to me too I learned not to go with bad thoughts and to relax outta fighting.
I was upset at someone for hurting me for fear they will be hurt by people who just hurt people. I don't mean it, but I detest the situation and am trying to ignore it.
So, no, I do not want for either thing to have happened and hope things don't happen like this in the future.
I thought of a word someone used, and my mom wants to mess with our relationship with a creative excuse. I don't even care about that word. She was messing up my thoughts and tho she fed it to me too I learned not to go with bad thoughts and to relax outta fighting.
I was upset at someone for hurting me for fear they will be hurt by people who just hurt people. I don't mean it, but I detest the situation and am trying to ignore it.
So, no, I do not want for either thing to have happened and hope things don't happen like this in the future.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Does anyone ever bother you?
All the time. They make fun of my relationships, like I have any, how immature. Strangers, some people who came into my life/Facebook.. People just spot me out and I get sent some secret messages, somehow.
😣
Also, there are people watching me in my room controlling how the computer loads to send nasty secret messages.
😧
😣
Also, there are people watching me in my room controlling how the computer loads to send nasty secret messages.
😧
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Problems Problems
First off, I'm sorry if I came off as rude to someone. It was unintended to "start" anything.
Let's just be friends in the end.
Are there any problems, anyway? I don't have problems. My dad doesn't have problems. My mom doesn't have problems psychologically and is physically getting better. Why would you think to respect my parents and not me? Why tell me I'm weird. I'm not. I'm afraid other people are - people, people are just different.
I was not trying to hurt anyone but just keep them from being able to go in and take care of my life. You can't come at me with weird jitters and things all of a sudden. They are invasive the way they are. We didn't have problems before. Why can't you talk about it on a blog or do what you really want? Most people don't seem to have a blog. That's where your calendar of writing and thoughts go that you put down. I don't mean to blab on, but I myself am very sad I didn't blog when I could have a the start nor publish a journal. It just wasn't in it for me.
I didn't do anything wrong by nature and the way other people are. I don't want this to go on. You all said I did stuff I didn't do. Don't even try to fight. You won't even let me speak. I'm not being sarcastic.
Anyway, sorry about all this happening with me and others.
Let's just be friends in the end.
Are there any problems, anyway? I don't have problems. My dad doesn't have problems. My mom doesn't have problems psychologically and is physically getting better. Why would you think to respect my parents and not me? Why tell me I'm weird. I'm not. I'm afraid other people are - people, people are just different.
I was not trying to hurt anyone but just keep them from being able to go in and take care of my life. You can't come at me with weird jitters and things all of a sudden. They are invasive the way they are. We didn't have problems before. Why can't you talk about it on a blog or do what you really want? Most people don't seem to have a blog. That's where your calendar of writing and thoughts go that you put down. I don't mean to blab on, but I myself am very sad I didn't blog when I could have a the start nor publish a journal. It just wasn't in it for me.
I didn't do anything wrong by nature and the way other people are. I don't want this to go on. You all said I did stuff I didn't do. Don't even try to fight. You won't even let me speak. I'm not being sarcastic.
Anyway, sorry about all this happening with me and others.
Problem
Someone is setting people in my life a distance from me but can still get up and smile and calculate they deserve something.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Problem
I don't want my tacky Gramma in my life telling me only I need to be punished, sending messages via my dad and causing my body to feel harm via noises. I don't care how powerful they are. They don't do other things they could.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Bad Night Now
Maybe, I was up later.
People both experimenting on me and attacking me as people secretly is happening.
It's going downhill, more things happen every day.
I see my dad clomp into the room with his act.
The love got taken away. I just disagree with things, like that I can't enjoy Frozen..
I get irritated by people and feel my life is just thrown away, maybe cuza my intruding dad messing up every day! I'm tired of his attitude. I bet he and his mom gave my mom cancer. Maybe an aunt, too, the older one. I gotta ask. Usually, they were nice to me. They are twisted liars, the lotta 'em. They think I'm bad for turning them in.
I try to feel emotion, but people take it away! I didn't ask for it.
People both experimenting on me and attacking me as people secretly is happening.
It's going downhill, more things happen every day.
I see my dad clomp into the room with his act.
The love got taken away. I just disagree with things, like that I can't enjoy Frozen..
I get irritated by people and feel my life is just thrown away, maybe cuza my intruding dad messing up every day! I'm tired of his attitude. I bet he and his mom gave my mom cancer. Maybe an aunt, too, the older one. I gotta ask. Usually, they were nice to me. They are twisted liars, the lotta 'em. They think I'm bad for turning them in.
I try to feel emotion, but people take it away! I didn't ask for it.
Well, I figured one thing out. I don't like people playing around with me especially in the wrong way.
I did get mad on teh inside and had a cutting thought, you know the cutoff. I just really don't wanna be blasted at about this oh so conveniently, literally messing into my life for something they did you think I could not match and do, like I'm not even allowed to deny this. You all are too judgmental. It's not perfectionism.
I did get mad on teh inside and had a cutting thought, you know the cutoff. I just really don't wanna be blasted at about this oh so conveniently, literally messing into my life for something they did you think I could not match and do, like I'm not even allowed to deny this. You all are too judgmental. It's not perfectionism.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tonight's the finale of my Design Challenge on HGTV. You're not gonna believe what happens at the end. I promise it’s not what you think.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 2, 2015
See, doesn't this seem laced with insults? She keeps doing that.She said "not" to be annoying twice.
So, where I went wrong was..
(1) the word k*** came back to me cuz it was just said and for my dad giving me a feeling I do not ever like from him
(2) I was upset with someone because of a stupid supper
(2) I was upset with someone because of a stupid supper
What did I do wrong? No answer. I will not be subject to my family all of a sudden in this world, like it's the new popular thing. You all don't have to pick up on bad things from your parents and as a family like this. I am independent. I have a strong dislike for getting close to my family in a lotta ways you don't see to respect. I will not be rounded up as a Barrett in "the Barrett family.."
Nice Girl..
Anna Kendrick. I wonder what goes on in her thoughts sometimes. Like at the Academy Awards..
Unsolved Being Upset
So Sorry. Maybe, I was hurt, but that's always the excuse. I'll wait for the next blast from the past. :(
Kids today don't deserve to be able to treat me like this. How am I guilty? Little things and weird things don't fully count.
Kids today don't deserve to be able to treat me like this. How am I guilty? Little things and weird things don't fully count.
The Circle of Apology
I partially just realized someone might be doing this I don't wanna fight, but I am not sure and know it's bad or just a coping mechanism. It seems like I got hurt me in the process.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Instagram - phantomontour
phantomontourCan anyone guess who played the Phantom this afternoon?! (Hint: it's somewhere in the picture!) #allansnyder #phantomontour #phantomoftheopera
I don't want that in my life. Someone told my mom to get upset with my dad in dire straights of lies.. oh well? We'll see how anyone feels about that. Shouldn't it be for my mom to decide?
You can't sit there and affect my life and punish me and hurt my relationships. We don't care about that stuff, no one does! I'll post my feelings here rather than explode in life. I'll try to forget important things like this. I don't wanna be forced to post about stuff just to post about it and don't plan on it.
You might think that was right. Maybe, it was. It didn't seem like the best idea. You probably just brush off that people are s***. Are you Hitler of the Apes?
I'm sorry if this offended anyone and if it reached and hurt anyone innocent. Let's leave it at that. I had a thought cycle, as I always do. I didn't violate you.
You can't sit there and affect my life and punish me and hurt my relationships. We don't care about that stuff, no one does! I'll post my feelings here rather than explode in life. I'll try to forget important things like this. I don't wanna be forced to post about stuff just to post about it and don't plan on it.
You might think that was right. Maybe, it was. It didn't seem like the best idea. You probably just brush off that people are s***. Are you Hitler of the Apes?
I'm sorry if this offended anyone and if it reached and hurt anyone innocent. Let's leave it at that. I had a thought cycle, as I always do. I didn't violate you.
You want to take me back?
I am so sorry I was mad. I could not think straight. You think so? I'm getting better, but I is who I is.
You've already distanced yourselves from me. You've turned innocent people against me to do foolish things. People who live in LA are contradictory. You shouldn't just not listen to me thinking you're actually there for me. Not listen to me as in thinking you're not too chicken about my dad when you are and that's why there's no reason to listen to anyone like that.. and btw you've gone and done other things than claim it's my dad in your way to being nice to me. Why does that sound so tacky? This is about people in general. You think you don't listen to me but are there for me but have to give me a heart attack daily for asserting my feelings on a blog.
Why I Came Out
I realized I could not go around grunting at myself and wanted to fix these problems.
How dare I? How dare anyone to me.
I think it was a general decision and some people might not like it. Then, let's just say I feel really bad. I don't want your help, tho..
What is this all for Johnny Depp and this girl?
What is this all for Johnny Depp and this girl?
I don't wanna be got at for new stuff, too.
I thought of how people created the idea that this person is over me, and my parents were all smug about it, so I thought why not h*** the person who done it.. but that's like h***ing me, not injuring. That's not what I even meant. I do not accept this bullying, tho. I do not accept that I used to be respected but now am not!
I thought of how people created the idea that this person is over me, and my parents were all smug about it, so I thought why not h*** the person who done it.. but that's like h***ing me, not injuring. That's not what I even meant. I do not accept this bullying, tho. I do not accept that I used to be respected but now am not!
I pretty much got this.
You old fogies are simple-minded dwellers and think you spotted out sin in me.
I think a lotta people are important. I take a stand against most people. I mean, wasn't my life about me before? Huh? Maybe, my relationships are traitors. I can find people under the radar who might be interesting.
Interestingly, this other person also wants everything to be about them. I just don't want it to be like "Oh, okay, I don't deserve to be treated like I'm worth anything at all every time someone doesn't like what I do." What's sad is it's coming into play in other opportunities for little things. This person is not a part of me anymore than they are a part of just anyone else. I don't mind at all if other people get attention and stuff. I just get insulting messages concerning them. Insulting to me, like I think maybe I deserve to be treated with respect and then I don't get it and they are used as a tool for that, like I was a really good person before and everyone just got all jealous and tore it down.
Interestingly, this other person also wants everything to be about them. I just don't want it to be like "Oh, okay, I don't deserve to be treated like I'm worth anything at all every time someone doesn't like what I do." What's sad is it's coming into play in other opportunities for little things. This person is not a part of me anymore than they are a part of just anyone else. I don't mind at all if other people get attention and stuff. I just get insulting messages concerning them. Insulting to me, like I think maybe I deserve to be treated with respect and then I don't get it and they are used as a tool for that, like I was a really good person before and everyone just got all jealous and tore it down.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Strange Ideas
in my head, I had to say no I don't want such and such, it is so freaky, maybe I need to be punished but not brutalized
My Yeling Like Here
I wasn't directing it at anyone directly. I guess it was just some issue, hopefully no one had a handle on or whatever. Like, someone mighta done it, but who knows. I guess I was nastier today at no one in particular. I hope I can brush it away and go on with finishing my life successfully, as in having a healthy life until my old age. It's not really okay. I need to be in check with myself.
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